Respecting Your Dominant Husband | Lifting Up Your husDOM

submissive Tools, submissive advice,Respecting Your Dominant Husband, Lifting Up Your husDOM

There is much on my mind this week about love and respect.  Between writing Mr. Fox a love letter for Valentine’s Day and the recent FSOG gathering we had for D/s-M couples I had time to watch and learn from both of these experiences. I have to talk a bit about Respecting your Dominant husband, your husDOM. Lifting up your husDOM to others and especially lifting your husDOM up to him.  That verbal stroking has to happen for a Dominance and submission relationship to work.  We as subMrs like to hear kind words, kind words to us and about us to others, right?  Well, our husDOM’s are NO DIFFERENT.

He NEEDS TO KNOW YOU BELIEVE IN HIM!!! You do believe in him, right? Show him…..

I am sure this whole idea is only common sense, correct? But, to quote an old boss of mine, “common sense is NOT common”.  We may all know this but do you practice it? I am going to say no we all DO NOT practice what we know is right.  We want our husDom’s to feel good about themselves.  We want them to smile upon us as we do them.  Have you ever tried the smile test? You know go throughout the day and smile at people, anyone, even strangers and watch what happens, they smile back!  If you appear pleasant to them they will reflect that back to you. Again, the same with our Dominant husband’s. You show them kindness and they will return it.  Words they make or break marriages all the time.  Be responsible for yours.

Start today, lifting your husDom up in front of others as well as in front of him.  Lift him up, meaning?  You speak about him or at him with respect.  Mutual respect, does he not deserve respect as much as you do?  Start with paying attention to your please’s and thank you’s.  Then you always tell other’s what a wonderful husDom your Sir has become, not bragging but use kind words describing what he has done or said to you.  What good does he do or say to you?  Then in front of other’s speak highly of him or about him.  He will feel you are proud of him. He will smile deep down and just for you.  This builds his Dominant but it also builds your marriage relationship up once again. Our Dominant’s confidence depends on us. Your verbal actions are a representation of your relationship with your Dominant.  More importantly, your verbal actions represent what you feel about yourself. There are so many more things you can do to help your relationship or become a more charming subMrs but this is a great start!

little kaninchen

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  1. Excellent reminder, LK. This topic led me to a great conversation with BigOne. I felt I was generally pretty respectful, with the occasional slip-up when I was angry, but I wanted to know how I could do MORE than I have been doing. I asked him to give me some examples of times he felt respected, and times he felt disrespected, because I don’t think I always recognize when I am being disrespectful. He gave me some examples, and I will be using them to deepen my submission this week…to not only respect him more, but to demonstrate that respect more. Specifically, I am working on NOT meeting his comments with a correction, or negative response. I thought I was just conversing with him, but he was feeling that often times my “conversation” was argument, so I am going to focus on the way I converse with him. Secondly, I am going to work on asking permission to leave the room he is in. I have gotten better about it, and most of the time will inform him…where before I would just walk off, but now he would like me to step it up and ask EVERY time. So, those 2 things will be my focus on showing him my respect this week.

  2. I can appreciate you working on further submissive respect. This post is mostly about your general respect. After meeting you, I can see you work hard on your submission to you Sir. I think working on the daily respect, the pleases and thank you’s set you up to move deeper into things like you mentioned above… Good job lady!


  3. Great post LK! I try to show my Sir respect, especially in public…but I admit that I can get caught up in activity while we are out and “forget myself” sometimes. No one is perfect, especially me, but trying to keep these things at the front of my mind usually helps me…and having reminders like this post are great tools as well!

  4. LK,

    Great post! My Sir and I were just talking about respect earlier today and it is very important and we always say please and thank you. It has become our nature because we are also trying to instill the respect into our 5 and 4 year old girls. I catch myself every once in a while when I get excited interrupting my Sir and I stop myself and apologize to him because he was talking and I know that it is rude and I should have not done so. He will give me a look as soon as I stop talking because he knew that I caught myself. I just know that he was disappointed in me so then I am also disappointed in myself.
    I’m glad that I read this post today! It is a great reminder!!


    1. Luna, thanks for commenting! You are not alone, this is an issue for many of us, including me and thats why I wrote about it. Catching yourself is the first step… GOOD JOB! Looking forward to chatting more..


  5. LK, Thanks for replying to my comment. Thank you I am working at being a better submissive for my Sir. Look forward to chatting more with you. I am certainly disappointment that I will miss the couples chat tomorrow due to me having to work tomorrow night.


  6. LK great topic because it help me reflect on moments where I spoke in a tone of curtness and not in a respectful way. This morning I asked for DT today and my topic just happened to be on respect and how I could hear how he feels about how I can better myself step it up.

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