Learning & Living the Married Dominance and submission Dynamic, D|s-M


Learning subMrs



    Learning subMrs Membership is for anyone who is new to the Married D|s method. Learning has a special chatroom, live video chats, blog posts & forums.

    You will…. 

    • learn about the D|s-M method and the steps to achieve it.
    • become your role and form the mindset of a subMrs.
    • help your husDOM grow in his new role.
    • get familiar with the terms and philosophies of BDSM and D|s-M.
    • gain inspiration by learning about other exciting sexual techniques.
    • Learn & use healthy relationship steps that help you clean, repair and build on this new magical foundation.


Living Community subMrs


  • Living D|s-M is for any subMrs wanting it all, RIGHT NOW! Learning and Living D|s-M Community all wrapped into one. Living is comprised of everything on the Learning option with the addition of the PREMIUM community facets of the site. This membership is for the fully invested submissive, making D|s-M a permanent part of your marriage. Living D|s-M receives:

    • Submissive Community All Access
    • Seasoned premium blog content, Inspiration and Refresher Blog Posts
    • Premium Living Video Chats & Groups
    • Community App Chat
    • Journal Posting (blog posting)
    • Regional Groups (find others in your area)
    • A discount code for your partner to join husDOM.com (Only get that with Living Membership!)


Married Dominance and submission satisfies two very important needs that married couples require from one another.

 ~A wife’s craving or hunger for intimacy or closeness with her husband.

~A husband’s search for that unexplained trust & respect from his wife.

Using D|s-M, the above will be found. Sating both husband and wife. Working together they will find a mutual acceptance and a deep spiritual connection.


D|s-M Defined

D|s-M, Married Dominance and submission is a method used to incorporate D/s (Dominance and submission) into a couple’s marriage in a consensual and healthy manner. Married Dominance and submission satisfies two very important needs that every married couple require from one another.

 ~A wife’s craving or hunger for intimacy or closeness with her husband.

~A husband’s search for that unexplained trust & respect from his wife.

Working together in your D|s-M roles, you will find mutual acceptance and a deep spiritual connection with your partner. This spiritual connection is what makes D|s-M the ultimate marriage accessory. You use our method, try it on and see what fits you. Adding what fits you today and put away what doesn’t.  In D|s-M you and your partner engage in all or some BDSM activities, Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadomasochism.  Our method takes great care promoting safe, sane and consensual play for the body and even more importantly the mind.  D/s-M is a unique lifestyle, as it focuses on self-awareness as well as long term sustainability.  We show you and your partner how to get the erotic edge you’re craving without getting cut.  Our method is built on the best relationship foundations, Trust, Respect, Honesty, Communication and Intimacy. It’s very important to mention that to achieve this dynamic LOVE still needs to be in your heart for your spouse. 

Techniques & Age

D|s-M is also more than BDSM techniques. Many times we incorporate other sexual techniques into the D|s-M dynamics.  We offer blog posts, discussion forums and even workshops at our events with those other techniques. Dominance and submission was once believed to be only a young, single person or swinger’s dynamic, NOT D|s-M, it is for all ages, married couples.  On subMrs.com we feel that it’s very important to promote monogamy between a couple.  If you swing, we do not judge but please leave your swinging at home. 

subMrs & Submission

subMrs is a submissive ONLY site and community.  If you have found us and you are a Dominant or interested in becoming one then please sign up on husDOM.com.  On subMrs you will learn the art of married Dominance and submission, D|s-M.  The mindset, philosophy and concepts are all discussed and mentored. You will learn HOW to be and become a married submissive, within a positive, professional & monogamous atmosphere.  We are very different in our opinion of what a subMrs role is then what you may have seen in other places. subMrs are viewed as a very strong person that has decided to take this role and become it, as it is a choice and one that can be taken away just as quickly as it has been given, submission is a gift.  Submission is not viewed as a weak person’s role, as a matter of fact, the exact opposite, it takes a STRONG person to submit, follow and be their Dominant’s (SIC), second in command. You actually will become stronger in the course of becoming your role. Both partners become stronger and have a clearer picture of what they want and what they want to become. D|s-M brings clarity to not only your relationship but you personally.

D|s-M Community

We also have an Exclusive Premium Community, (Living D|s-M Community) for our members. The good news is, all of the members in our community have also decided to invest in their marriage so you will not run into unwanted trollers. We know when you become a subMrs you many times have mostly vanilla, non-kinky friends that you may not be able to share your new-found accessory with. You usually want to shout out your excitement and share all you’re feelings that are happening,  no worries, you will find the best submissive camaraderie in our community.  We have a group of subMrs Ambassadors that are on our sites welcoming, discussing and sharing with you all the fabulous things they have experienced. Who knows you may find new best friends.  We concern ourselves deeply with your privacy and online safety. Those being real concerns due to that we have many professionals and public figures as members. We have a NO SOLICITING and many other rules and Terms of Service put in place to protect you. 

Your Tribe 

If you have very discerning tastes you have cum to the right place!  We have created a place for couples who may be midlife, married and monogamous to come and learn, build and become MORE personally and maritally. This place is for those couples who want to experience relationship magic and a deep connection with their partner.  Does this sound like you? You may have found your tribe! Join NOW!


Young couple
Mature couple Ds


Partners in Intimacy

Learn and become partners in intimacy. The intimacy we all want is EMOTIONAL INTIMACY, the “CAKE”.  Many times intimacy is thought of as only the sexual type. Sex that’s the easy part, the “SPRINKLES”.  D|s-M helps you achieve both intimacies.  How we both get to it is and will remain different until the end of time. D|s-M will help you make CAKE together.
Partners Intimacy


Why we founded the things do TTWD The Things We Do

TTWD Learning submission Why we founded and continue building our method of D|s-M is because we want to keep midlife couples from “gray divorce”.  Gray divorce is a term used for married couples that Divorce after the their children have grown.  Instead we want to introduce those couples to our method and show them a way to have, what we call a “Grey Lifestyle”.  I invented the term after reading the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy.  Mr. Fox and I have experienced many of the issues commonly had by other couples that find their way our sites. Things like Empty Nest, Life Stage Fright, Marriage Auto-Pilot or Waking up one day next to a stranger. All of these issues lead the way to lost passion and intimacy, maybe even divorce.  We are living longer so the term “Midlife” is expanding to approximately 38-68 yrs. Many of us have spent 20+ years together building a good relationship only to have it thrown out like last weeks garbage. Not many fight for what they have built anymore. We want every couple to take stock in the value of what they have in their marriages.  Bringing awareness to what they had before they throw it out.  At one point you had a good marriage, could you get it back with a little help or even make it better than it ever had been?  Now that Dominance and submission has gone main stream in such movies as “Fifty Shades of Grey”, enjoying sex and its many different techniques have become less taboo.  We took the scary, dark & dangerous BDSM techniques, once only for singles and shined a light on them made them into something magical and wonderful that a married couple could enjoy and grow in. It’s the best new marriage accessory!

We have “Lux in Tenebris” , latin for Brought light into the darkness. 

How are we are different than other sites?

What Makes Us Different We have a method. We created a proven method for you and your spouse. Showing you both how to begin your journey into Dominance and submission. It’s been called many things, a road map, yellow brick road, the climb..all guides to build on and grow with. It’s NOT the only way but it’s a repeatedly proven way to achieve a successful and sustainable married D|s dynamic. Who better to learn from than the pioneers of Married Dominance and submission? We are a happily married, 30+ year, couple that has been practicing Domination and submission since early 2012.  When we first started there was nothing out in the cyberverse for a monogamous married couples.  We steadily lived the dynamic and learned from all our ebbs and flows. We both wrote about the wisdom we gained and shared it with other couples.  Being interested in the psychology and energy of D|s, we both attended life coaching classes and I now am certified energy and life coach. I use my knowledge to help mentor-coach the submissive members about submission and in their everyday vanilla lives. What kind of energy do you put in your marriage? Just one question to think on.  We also have a large and thriving D|s-M community with premium facets that others do NOT offer such as, Chat App & Live video chatrooms.  Our communities are kept separate, one for subMrs’ and others for husDOM’s. We promote monogamy therefore it keeps dynamics clean and the atmosphere safe for each partner to build and grow in their own role. We have found the unknown of what our husDOM’s are chatting and engaging in very compelling!  Mr. Fox and I believe in the pay it forward motto.  We have helped thousands and in turn, we ask our community members to stay diligent in their growth in order to help new members gain their footing and perspective by sharing their own personal experiences and becoming ambassadors for the sites. The energy and chat environment stays positive and professional. This fosters a team like an attitude and family atmosphere.

How does the membership benefit you?

Collar submissive I think many women are just as I was, unhappy not only with the state of the marriage at a certain stage life, but also unhappy inside with yourself.  Wondering where your life is going and needing something more. D|s-M will help you work on your mind, (emotions & perspectives), your body, D|s-M will make you want to work on your physical appearance. Being sexy is NOT a number but a state of mind and being a subMrs is all about finding your sexy!  You will find even a better version of who you already are while becoming a subMrs.  In essence this can help you be a better you which spills over into every aspect of your life, home, work & family.

Do you want more out of your life? Like me I am sure you don’t want to spend the second half of the ONE life you get with someone that doesn’t totally love or even like you. You want your soul-mate back! You want more out of your marriage.  You deserve to be loved, respected and trusted.  But, I had to look deep inside and figure out what would work for us and what exactly that would look like. How bad did I want it? I had to let my walls down and let go of my ego and find a way to make it work. again! Be vulnerable, forgive and gain a new perspective. That is the benefit you get here. You learn so much about yourself.  You become self aware and how your energy affects your partner and your marriage.  You will put time in but what you gain, is golden! You will both have a lot of fun if you both can commit to your roles. The power struggles go away, balance is restored, marital clarity appears like never before! You once again become partners, partners in the sexiest crimes. Who else would you want to do all these fun and risqué things with except your very own Dominant. Let’s not forget to mention the camaraderie that is gained with other subMrs and couples as you come along in your journey.  It is sooo awesome to share in the live chatrooms the feelings you have when you first find your submission bubbling out. You will find other couples that are just like you.  You may even find a new best friend in your journey into D|s-M.  We have reunions and events where we give you immersive excursions, workshops and demonstrations that will blow your mind. That’s the benefits you could have as as member, join NOW!


Married Dominance and submission, Married Couples Events, Masked Ball Event, subMrs.com Event, D|s-M


All those experiences you have read and watched in the movies, those experiences can be yours.  The sexy dinner parties, travel and immersive excursions are all a part of our communities.


Dominance and submission lifestyle for married couples.

Alice and wonderland

If you have read this far down the page, what are you waiting for?

Begin the chase, venture down the Rabbit Hole and step through the looking glass….

You clearly have a strong desire to take your marriage to new and exciting heights. You now have found the best resource and community.