Beginning Anal Play & Sex

ANAL PLAY, All About Anal Play, Domination and submission Married Lifestyle,

Beginning Anal Play and Sex 

I think most of us married ladies before coming into D/s-M were not very experienced in anal play. Not all of us were born “anal whores” …… We have to work to become them. LOL! We may of in the past as a vanilla wives had participate in anal sex once a year or by surprise when you and your husband would go out and have a few drinks too many… You got home wanted to have fun and oops it’s wet down there and boy its slippery, uhhhh oh, WRONG HOLE!!

Please tell me I am not the only one who has had that happen, LMsAO!  Well, anal anything is more then putting a penis in your ass… It can be SOO much more!

Let’s explore REALISTIC Anal Play , Training & Plugs.

I wanted to tell you about my experience with mid-life D/s-M anal play, sex and training.  Now, there is nothing wrong with trying the training methods that you are inundated with when you start D/s.  They may work for you but I wanted to present things in a realistic way in regards to anal play that can be used for the long-run.

Mr. Fox and I have explored anal almost every way while doing TTWD.  We drank the anal training “Koolaid” that is written for D/s online when we began.  We went down the unrealistic road of me wearing a plug for hours and found that wearing an anal plug for long periods only made my rectal tissues inflammed. I was sore and so swollen there that when we planned on having anal sex I could NOT perform for him. In essence defeating the whole reason for the supposed “anal training”.  After many tries at making anal work for us, we found that making a plan of attack or think of your goal before jumping on the unrealistic band wagon of wearing a plug for 20 min a day scenario. I think that training has to happen when you are turned on or in play with your Sir. NOW, that being said, I want to talk about how to practice with and without your Sir to become more comfortable with opening and working your ass for your Sir.  Anal has been looked at as dirty and as taboo by many. But, just as anything else it takes practice to make it feel good and to find pleasure in the act.  You have to trust your Dominant to have anal sex. You have to let him take you on this journey and accept that he will use it.. hard sometimes, but afterwards he will take great care…..  Your rose bud, the perfect little pink taught hole… She will need training but please be patient with her. If you are patient she will open up new experiences including the anal orgasm. Ask your Sir to please treat her with skilled soft hands.

Anal Training or Anal Practice 

The old way it says that you will be expected to wear a plug sometime during the day to prepare for the activities that he may have planned for you in the near future.  This will work after you are way more experienced in anal sex.  Take it from me, Mr Fox and I worked monthly on anal for a year and I still was pulling out bloody plugs here and there. 

Please spare yourself shock, discomfort and feeling as if you have failed. *Do NOT plan on doing training and playing the same day/night until you are used to having the plug in place and having anal sex regularly. There is nothing worse then feeling like you have disappointed your Sir but also your Sir should understand that this training takes time.  SUBASSUP,ANAL PLAY, All About Anal Play, Domination and submission Married Lifestyle, subMrs.comYour Dominant may choose to train you by working you through a set of plugs starting with the smallest and working your way up to the goal of the largest. They make a graduating set of dilators that is fun (to use in a scene). You see how far you can go over time.  After you have gotten used to anal play, your Sir can challenge you to insert a plug or take one out while you are away from home. Be ready for anything while in training. I tell everyone while in training take something I call “The Booty Bag”, a ziploc with a squirt of lube and a few baby wipes inside. Your bag or purse will thank me. 

Saying that, I really think that anal plugs are for anal play or scenes. Not something to just be pushed in and gotten used to. That is NOT finding pleasure that is enduring…

Anal Training/Anal Play:

I am a true believer that you should start anal training with what I call Anal Play, this will also double as a lesson in trust and teamwork.

How to begin Anal Training/Play:  It is better if you try anal play after having vaginal sex… it helps with relaxation. This could take several sessions before you get comfortable relaxing  your anus for your Sir. 

First, work on familiarity and trust. Beginning with your Sir’s fingers around your anal area. Start with anal massage, just as he would massage your aching back. Use some water based lube, warming is a plus. Starting with massaging the buttocks and work his way to the rose bud, making small circles around your pucker. Another thing you have to get in order is your mindset about the subject. You have always maybe thought of anal as taboo and dirty. You and your Sir need to get your minds right that anal can be pleasurable and both of your’s “dirty little secret.”  If your mind is relaxed so will your anus.  Talking throughout in the beginning its very important that the mind is in play… Submissive nude on tableOPT,ANAL PLAY, All About Anal Play, Domination and submission Married Lifestyle, subMrs.comYour Sir needs to keep your mind engaged and turned on to keep your ass needy and wanton*.  Communication is important because he needs to let you know what your body is doing and what he wants it to do.  He will feel you begin to feel you relax and then he can shallowly dip his pinky finger in and out. He will watch and judge your breathing and reactions.  As you relax more he will push in further until he can leave his pinky fully inside your anus.   Relax and breathe……..

Using a vibe or wand, will actually help you relax. Stimulating the clit in my experience will actually help relax the muscles of your anus. A couple really nice orgasms from vaginal sex will help as well. As you start to trust and get used to the feelings of something/someone being at your rose bud then you start your work on the small dips into your hole. begin with a pinky… relax and breathe….. keep massaging and vibrating until you start teaching yourself to enjoy the play. Relax breathe and let him in deeper and deeper. Remember, faster is not always better with anal. The more friction there is (going too fast) the more discomfort can occur. So, go slow and enjoy the stretch.  Sometimes bearing down helps you accept your  intruder.  Learn your body and how to open up for him.  Eventually, you’ll be able to do an exercise with your husDOM, see if you can open up every time he commands.  There will be positions that feel better during anal. You can add ramps or pillows to increase the feeling and depth.  Figure out what feels best for you, this will differ with each person. It is really fun to figure out what works for the two of you.  Find pleasure in this task.  Take it slow and remember this will take many sessions with your Sir to get to the point of using any plugs, beads or probes. Accepting your Sir’s penis fully and enjoying it is intimacy like none other. BUTT, usually is the pinnacle of the anal achievements. My last tid-bit… LOTS OF LUBE!  Water based works best with toys ect…. so we always just stay with water based lubricants. 

Anal Play is practice for a anal sex scene. This can simply be any type of practice or anal sex. You can do small 20 min. sessions.  Maybe try play the night or two before your anal scene to get familiar with the mindset.  Work on the things that seem to more challenging for you… or make it time to do the things that are becoming easier and then during the play take the next step and push the limit a little, adding bondage another toy or go up one size of probe. (You can buy graduating sizes of probes.), I personally love my clit clamped while we have anal and after the release of it gives me a great sensation.  (E-mail or PM for details.)

Anal Scene:

A scene is scheduled and it based around your Dominant using your ass for his enjoyment. He can use enemas, probes, electric or decorative tails all in the same scene. I would say that you want to have training and play for at least 3 months before having the full anal scene.

Anal Plugs

Lets cover some different types of plugs.  All plugs come in xs-XL and many different shapes and made from different materials.

Training:  These plugs are made of different materials and usually have a raised rim so you can insert them and make sure you do not swallow them up. Usually they come in different shapes. Each shape can have a very different feel. When we began, I tried many plugs in many sizes finding what fit me comfortably. I always say that I was the “GoldiLocks” of anal plugs. Be prepared as your Goldilocks will show themselves as well. You may need a smaller plug with a longer neck as I did. Well small plugs do not come with longer neck, so I moved up to a medium in the plugs that I enjoyed and found out that the medium works better for me in most circumstances due to the neck length. So, trying different ones is part of the fun. Enjoy it!

Ornamental: Again, these can be made of different materials but they are for fun… or the perfect picture for your husDOM.  These can be things like jeweled plugs and animal tails for obvious reasons they are not washable or meant to be moved around too much. I have swallowed a jewel plugged using it in scene in the past… be safe!

ANALBEADS,ANAL PLAY, All About Anal Play, Domination and submission Married Lifestyle,
Anal Beads…….. So much fun! 

Everything “Butt” the Kitchen Sink:  These toys are not all plugs.  They are all different shapes and materials.  They can have a lot of bumps and lumps. They are for stimulation and sensation. These include probes, beads, dildos and hooks. Don’t forget those electric plugs!  Heck here on we even did an exercise using fruits or veggies… After you learn to start enjoying anal play these things are for you to try and find your favorites!

Rimming: Running your tongue around the edges of the anus or your Sir running his tongue around and in your anus…. This can be done after a nice hot bath or shower safely.

****Cross Contamination Warning:  Protect yourself and don’t mix your fluids from your vagina and anus. This bacteria can cause UTI and other horrible infections. In your nightstand or play bag make sure you have a box of gloves, watch if you have laxtex allergies.  Also, Get some nice prophylactics for your toys.  Always leave anal play for last. Wash everything after play with hot water and soap. Any specialty cleaners make sure you use the correct one with the types of material that your toys are made from.

Finally, to enema or not to enema, that is the question….. This practice takes lots of study and patience. I advise everyone to be careful and do your homework on this subject before ever practicing it. If it makes you feel any better many times your stool is higher up in your intestines so you don’t have to worry about feces during your anal play. Butt,  SHIT HAPPENS.…  Once in a while you will get a smear or seepage it’s not unusual.  After you have the magic happen, either of you,  at that point don’t give a damn.. You’re high-fiving each other on a spectacular scene or you as a submissive are in outer-space, or sub-space feeling good…… ENJOY!

I am sure there is more to add, but this is a great beginning… Please Private Message or email me at with any questions. 

Little Kaninchen

Anal Plugged In Exercise

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All about Anal Play | Domination and submission Married Lifestyle

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  1. Thanks missy for sharing…. and commenting. Your experience in the lifestyle is so helpful to others. We do truly have some of the BEST submissives in the world here in the community. HUGS! LK

  2. Thank you for the information. I’ve been anal curious for a long time, dabbled a bit here and there carefully, but never became overly excited/stimulated by it until recently, but now I am rapidly switching gears and exploring more. The one take away I have so far is it changes the level of trust. Not sure why, but it did, on all levels.

    Thanks again for sharing!

    1. Dip a finger in …LOL.. no seriously, the best way to figure out what things feel best is try it on yourself. You can trust yourself to be careful with the back end…. Self Exploration and knowing yourself will benefit you and your partner so very much.
      Thank you for commenting… HUGS LK

  3. Excellent post LK and very informative. I have that oops wrong hole happen a few times. I have come to learn that the more we have anal, the more I like it. I love when Sir fingers are rubbing or pushing on my rose bub and have found out that it is a huge turn on spot. Love the post, thanks!

    1. Yeah Babe I should add a little anatomy lesson to this post. There are nerve bundles that run around your vagina and around your anal area. The pressure there is a wonderful sensation because of the nerves. Thank you for taking your time to comment. Keep the party in the back going!


  4. Great post..always enjoy learning new ways to enjoy anal play.. I find that when I’m focused on pleasure on my clit with wand and the extra stimulation , that I am not focusing on the entry of my sir. Helps with the mindset of anal play and its more enjoyable for me and its pleases my sir immensely.

    Thank you LK for always giving great insight!!

  5. Lk
    Thanks for another very informative post for all! And subbies… I know we all love to experience extreme pleasure and this will certainly be provided with anal play/sex. Try it! You may surprise yourself and your Sir!
    Hey, any anal slut will tell you… Slipping in the back door is oh so fun!

  6. I for one thought Amal play for years was a NO WAY! But then I started to experiment. Sir used his fingers first and I found I got a lot of pleasure from it. Then I bought a small plug and enjoyed it very much. I bought a medium vibrating plug and used it on myself and oh yes I enjoyed it! Sir has used my ass just once or twice, and he had me put in my vibrating plug during a scene while he was working on tying me up with rope. But I found the silicone vibrating plug would fall out and I couldn’t hold it in standing up. So I bought a med stainless steel one with a jewel so Sir would have something pretty to view while he was using his rope. He really liked that! But the med stainless steel isn’t that big, so I ordered a large in a different color jewel. The large is really quite a bit bigger than the medium and I’m still working on being able to fit it in yet. I also got another medium with a pink heart. Sir recently bought me a play color with a blue jewel on the front and told me how much he likes blue and I saw a set of 3 plugs in different sizes with a blue jewel I’m thinking of getting so he’ll have matching blue butt plug jewels to use on me while he has me collared during play ???

    Sir is very much an ass man, he loves my ass! Frequently when he has to go in to work at night he’ll instruct me to make a video for him using my toys. I always make sure to put in a plug as well as use several vibrators when making the videos for him. So far o have only gotten praise for each one even when I don’t think they are the best video…lol

    1. SuSumisa,

      Thank you for sharing, I hope you enjoyed the post. The video means so much to serve him in a way that most would never do. The act is so intimate and you’re doing it for him…. beauty is in the eye of the beholder… He luvs that submission. HUGS! LK

  7. Oh and rimming❣❣. I love it but I love giving it to Sir the most? My Sir enjoys it very much and he almost cums from it! I get so wet and excited from his reaction from me serving him on this way that it feeds my submission as much as his pleasure?

    1. Many men… luv the rimming, but don’t speak of it… When they do and again you serve him in this fashion it feeds him and you are fed in return… Thanks for commenting.. LK

  8. Thanks LT, anal is the most intimate act, I believe. If you ever get the chance to have vaginal, anal and clitoral orgasm at the same time… it’s like the 4th of July!! Thanks for all you do. LK

  9. I am so upset right now I could scream. My Sir decides that night #2 of this is fine without getting my motor warmed up. Just straight to it. No foreplay, no nothing. I stopped him and stomped away. He has failed to do his Dom research as I have time and time again requested. Therefore, I am halting his Dom until he wants to learn. Like I have said before, I can feed him, but he has to want to learn.

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