submissive Lessons and Directions
I have read hundreds of books in my last three years in Domination and submission Lifestyle. I also know that the best way to get and keep inspired is reading erotica. I want to concentrate here in our submissive book club on submissive Lessons you can learn from fictional erotica. These posts will be focused on working on your submission. This will be preceded by a live online submissive chat in the library chat room discussing the books that I am writing these lessons from. My thoughts, My Vision/Direction of D/s-M, my Lessons Learned as a submissive.
These lessons I have chosen because they spoke to my heart. I look back when I read this book when I was a new submissive and I finished the first book or the series and was doing dishes… I was sobbing as the hot water steam rose into the air. I read this as a student the first time and now I look at it as a teacher of sorts. In my opinion this fictional book can teach all of us some things about being submissive, New submissive or Seasoned submissive.
Inspiration: The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
In this book the submissive goes to a training school. This submissive has formal classes, hands-on coaching and weekly auctions, She will confront her deepest fears and desires. There will be a forge of lifelong friendships with fellow submissives. This sub also falls for several of the schools skilled Dominants.
Domination and submission Lessons and Direction:
Vocalizing your Pleasure and Pain: One of the best things you can do during playing or scening is vocalizing your Pleasure and Pain. Letting your Sir know how good or bad things feel helps him measure what he is doing. It makes your scenes hotter and feeds him during the scene. His pleasure comes from seeing and hearing yours. His power he feels comes from how much pain or pleasure he can give you. This all of course should be discussed in downtime. Your Sir should also let you know before the scene begins what his preferences are…If he doesn’t want you to speak he should let you know in the beginning of the scene/play. Your Dominant should let you always know what his expectations should be of your hands, vocally and position. ***Always remember your safe word or you can use red, yellow, green…. It is your Dominants job to stretch and grow his submissive without taking her/him to far and breaking her.
Give into Your Desires:
- Always Follow your instincts. You will learn to trust yourself after a few weeks. Who you really are as a sub shows most when you respond to him in that way, instinctually: Prompted by or resulting from or as if from instinct; natural; unlearned. Being honest not only with your mouth but your body, let go of the things holding you back in your mind and body. Your Sir will feel it and see it and use it in a way that you will find delightful. Your Dom will then let go and do things he only desired in his deepest darkest thoughts…
Being a submissive shows in your sexual acts, but remember your submission shows not only there but in your movements (body language), the words you choose and in your eyes when around your Dominant. An example: Giving your Dominant your full attention, being attentive when your Sir is speaking to you is something that seems so simple yet it is so hard… All that multi-tasking in your mind has to end when he/she speaks.
If in public are you supposed to call him Master or Sir and bow like you would in private? There are differ protocols that you will have to learn as a submissive. You both will learn them and discuss which ones you want performed at different times. Most times your Sir will find things to show his Dominance without making it evident to vanillas. **
Phrasing/Answering submissively: Communicating in a Positive Manner: Even when indicating you do not prefer what is going on or saying no. How do you do it?
Negative responses should be.. phrased like this… “No, Sir, only if it pleases You.” This still allows your Dominant the final decision.
Affirmative responses should be .. phrased like this… “Yes, Sir” or “If it pleases you, Sir.”
Neutral feeling should be expressed this way… or if you wish for him to make the decision. ” “Your wish Sir?” or “As you say, Sir.”
Work on Phrasing with you
Show your Femininity: By showing your femininity you will gain power… Unfortunately, all of us have felt the power over others when we are dressed in a way that is sexually charged but tastefully as well. You know if you get a new outfit that is flirty and looks good that he will see you in a new light. Dress for your Dominant…. If you wonder what he would like… ask him. **
Fantasy Journalling: Keep a journal online or on paper. You can even write your craziest of fantasies here in the submissive forum, in fact I encourage you to share them so others can build there own personal journals. More dirty minds put together the better the ideas! You write those dark and depraved things down and let your Sir review them during downtime or whenever he wishes. This will lead to bigger and better scenes. DO not leave out any details but make sure these things are things you can do and feel safe doing. Tell how those things you’re describing make you feel. You will get braver as time goes on. He/she will learn of your unspoken needs and your underlying motivations. The more info you can give him the better.
Lastly, an important lesson….
The submissive has the Power: Kneeling at your Sir’s feet does not make you inferior or the weaker of the two of you. The REALITY is this is all a “Mind Fuck”: The idea or concept that shakes one’s previously held beliefs or assumptions about the nature of reality. Your Dominant has the illusion of all the power. In fact, You, the submissive have all the control. You decide how far you let the scene or play go. You are giving your submission as a gift. You will feel more powerful the more you give up control. There is nothing more heady then when your Dominant looks down at you and you know the headiness he is feeling comes from the look on your face that you are anxiously waiting his next command.
What is your Dominant giving back to you..What is in this for you? : Your Dom will take on the responsibility of caring for your needs and seeing that they are met in your best interests. He will be working on his imagination building on his experience as a Dominant. His art is the art of AROUSAL. Your Sir is going to build your excitement and push and testing your limits. There is lots of staging and planning required. This is why I advice that you do a Formal Acceptance reviewing these responsibilities. The union of a dedicated Dominant and a confident submissive …. Can not be shook and will not be broken.
This is just the beginning of our lessons through out these books.. Take something from this lesson today and start working on it… Let your Sir’s know that you have begun.. Let him check on your progress and please comment here on the post and let us know what you have chosen and why. We will chat about them on the Warren Chat Room as well. Best of Luck to you subbies. Fond yourself again in your submission. Make your fairytale your reality. You can do it and we can show you how… HUGS!
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submissive Lessons and Directions
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** This Means: We will do another post regarding this subject.