What does it Mean to have a “collaring ceremony” ? In a single D/s dynamic, a collar ceremony is a way for a single Dominant to announce he has taken on a single submissive.. it’s a commitment that he is going to only use her for his pleasure. She belongs to him, but doesn’t mean he only belongs to her. The Dominant may just give a submissive a collar at spur of moment or plan something more formal. While a collar ceremony in a D|s-Marriage may be more for a commitment to the D|s-M lifestyle overall. This ceremony may comprise of a husDOM’s commitment to becoming a Dominant and your dedication to become his subMrs as permanent full time commitment to each other within the dynamic. You both would be pledging your devotion to using Domination and submission in your marriage. Your husDOM is commiting to his role and being in charge of the overall dynamic. You as a subMrs are saying that you are going to submit to him/her and be his follower in the dynamic. You are committing to being the best subMrs that you can be & entrusting him to become your husDOM.
The Collaring Ceremony, The Commitment of Married Dominance and submission dynamic
It takes about a year to possibly understand what taking on these roles really means and entails. The commitment it actually takes for both the husband and the wife to become D|s-M and make it a permanent fixture within the marriage is a big one. This is true teamwork on both sides have to actively be participating, engaging, learning & growing their roles. Both of you are bettering yourselves and building on your roles. If you’re not growing your D|s-M you’re vanilla-ing… going backwards, back to the way your marriage used to be. So the key is to keep it active and fresh. Keep reinventing and making things for you both to look forward to. So I say make a collaring ceremony a special occasion sometime after 3 months when you both are engaged in your roles. Mr. Fox and I would luv an invite!
Some examples of what couples may do in a D|s-M ceremony is the husDOM may place collar on submissive’s neck and a sub give her Dominant a cuff, ring or gift of course after after reciting some special magical words to one another. Sometimes the subMrs wrists are bound with ribbons until he releases them at the end of ceremony. This can be like a vowel renewal or another “white wedding” with a reception afterwards. Pillows, Kneeling, candles, wine and friends all been enlisted in ceremonies I have been told about from the many submissives that have passed through subMrs.com. You can make this as simple or as extravagant as you both wish.
Formal Acceptance vs Collaring Ceremony
A collaring ceremony is different than a Formal Acceptance. The Formal Acceptance is when you ask to begin D|s-M. The collaring ceremony is where you can do a formal wedding type “ceremony” with friends or a personal & private two party collaring. I advise to just look at both options and pick one that works for you. In a D|s-M marriage, after the F.A. your husDOM can give you any collar, play collar or day collar, before you ever have a D|s-M ceremony.
The Symbolism of a Collar
There are different types collars. I will stay specific to the ones that are usually used in Married Dominance and submission. First let me say that there are different ways to symbolize that you are a Married submissive, other than a collar. Some subs have rings, bracelets, ankle or both wrists, a tattoo even……. Submissive’s are not the only one that enjoy the symbolism of being a submissive to their husbands. The husband enjoys knowing and having something that symbolizes he is a Dominant! Many subMrs and husDOMs are professionals and need to have something that symbolizes their commitment yet ok to show while at work. A special secret that just you and he share. So many times a piece of special jewelry is what is used.
Types of Collars
The type of collars that are used in Married Dominance and submission dynamic are the Day Collar, Play/Scene Collar, Decorative Collar. Day collars are the most popular among subMrs. Day collars that are meant to be worn all day long such as a piece of jewelry, a necklace, as simple as a locket or a string of pearls or a choker. Some of the brands couples usually use for day collars are Etsy, Tiffany, Brighton, Pandora, and David Yurman just to name a few. Depending on your budget and where and how you plan on wearing it, there is a collar out there for everyone.
Play/Scene Collar are only worn when doing exactly that having play or a scene. In play and scenes you want comfort so you can enjoy long sessions. You both can decide in future if you want a comfort collar and a restrictive collar for those different type of scenes. Play collars usually come with rings so that they can be attached to a rope, leash, other implements that help in the aid of Domination. These play collars can also be made of nylon or plastic. Most times I think a good leather with soft padding or even better with a fur lining is the best. I will mention that all collars can have working or decorative locks……. Decorative collars are just for that decoration, they can be anything in between, mostly fashionable pieces that go with a certain outfit and may be novelty. Some fun examples are a kitten collar or puppy collar. You can become a biker with a studded collar or a bad school girl with a piece of ribbon around your neck…….. Use them in your role play.
No matter how you decide to show your devotion to your new roles it’s how you both decide to show it. One of each collar is just perfect!
Use of a Collar in D|s-M
Last but not least, the use of a collar in a married Dominance and submission dynamic. Different types of collars are used for different uses, as we discussed above. The use of the collar is BOTH your decisions to make. I suggest always making it a discussion in your downtime communications. But the collar itself can be a ritual& or rule. Both the rule and ritual can be based on by whom and when the collar is put on or taken off. Most subMrs have a rule that they are not the ones taking the collar off or putting it on. Remember, a rule is different than a ritual. With a rule there are consequences for the subMrs if not done or done correctly or timely. The ritual is for both parties and there are no consequences on either side. Rituals are to enjoy and most times as a couple gets further in their journey, they learn to put a backup plan to a ritual in for those days that things get rushed and you both may need a secondary to make sure you get that collar on and off. The best intensions of making sure this happens everyday always by the husDOM only is just that an intension. I always say make sure there is a backup plan to this ritual, ALWAYS is a hard ritual to keep. So, if you make this a ritual put in a backup… You could make it fun and say for those days that you hade to use a backup… the subMrs gets 10 spankings with or without warm up first, at the Sir’s discretion. That means subMrs that you make sure the rest of his day with you is pleasant and then you will be rewarded with the warm up and fun play after a hard rushed day!
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