How to ask for a FSOG Lifestyle or a
Dominance and submission relationship
BEFORE YOU DO YOUR FORMAL ACCEPTANCE: The Preparation……. Do your homework!
How do you get started in D/s? Where do you start? Preparation! Why preparation? Well, no one knows your husband like you do. You know how much preparation he needs before trying to open him up to something new. The preparation you do prior to you doing your formal Acceptance is the key. I can tell you some things you can do to prepare you and him for the almost ceremonial “Formal Acceptance”.
- Go through the definitions page in my forum. You can familiarize yourself with definitions in this lifestyle. Make sure you know what D/s is..what BDSM is… What is a submissive & Dom.
- Look through some soft bdsm porn and bookmark sites. You can show him what it is you’re wanting to act out.
- Copy excerpts from your favorite BDSM related books. Copy/Print this site’s blog posts and husDOM.com posts that describe how to begin. Yes DO your homework.
- Get a lineup of BDSM images to show him. You can google BDSM images (Tumblers). Make sure NOT to shock him with any of this ..make it BDSM light if needed..Some need to be broken in gently.
You by now have prepared him letting him know that you have read and like the dynamics that BDSM en-tales. Now you have to pick the right time. This night/day should happen when you have time alone. Kiddo’s are fast asleep in their beds. He sweeps you away to a hotel for the weekend. You are cleaning up for the night, both showering…step out early. Lighting and soft music will help your cause. Make sure you smell and feel like heaven. Wear a robe only. Try not to let him get any idea what you’re up to.
This is were you have to get all your bravery and angst and swallow it in and get your first sub-mindset. You can do it! Wait until you know he is coming into room.. or once he comes into room. Take his hand .. make sure he is seated on bed or standing and ask him if you can speak with him about something very important to you. Kneel or be kneeling…. take off the robe and kneel in front of him. Ask him to not speak let you talk please… before he says anything. Kneel ask him “Please Sir, I have an ache inside…… Will you be my Dominant? Then stop…
Let him absorb what you just asked. Wait for his answer……. How can he say no…? He sees your commitment… You’re naked on your knees. He may ask those questions that you are now prepared to answer. Tell him you want the lifestyle. The dynamic is based on Honest Communication… Now is the time to clear the slate. I should say most of the time 99% the Sir says yes… Then some fun play happens. Men are more pliable after sex… so have that fun then talk about it some more. Tell him you can help guide him the first phases. Working together you can have the magic… Tell him he will have responsibilities as you will and you both will have some of the best sex you have ever had.
This is your first step. You do the formal acceptance and it will clear up all the “I thought you meant something else” or ” I thought you meant this”. You make your expectations clear at this time so there is no confusion on what his part is in all this is. Take it slow, make it simple, have fun. It should not be hard all the time. Start in Bedroom, I did ..it will come out when it wants and you can go 24/7……..