Anal Play | Anal Massage, Training & Orgasm

Anal Play, Anal sex, Anal Massage, Anal Training,, Married Dominance and submission, submissive community, how to be submissive, D|s-M

Submissive Preparation

A submissive must prepare two things before any type of anal play, this includes massage, training and sex. She must prepare her mind and her body. The more you prepare the better and smother the scenes will get. Working together on your roles and what you are responsible for in those roles is so rewarding. ENJOY! Your Sir will come up with his own preparation of his duties… DON’T WORRY!

The Mind

We all know the mind is our biggest sex organ. Prepare your mind by communicating all concerns and worries to your Sir in downtime BEFORE scheduled scene or massage. Not right before but the days leading up to. After your downtime, you DO NOT TRY TO CONTROL any of the experience. You spoke your truth and worry in your communication. Now you trust him to do all the rest. This will give you inner peace and build his Dominance at the same time. Both of you may be nervous if this is your first time or being a novice sub and DOM. Just know you have a safe word or “RED” and lean on each other if in doubt, pull it out… J/K… but seriously, just be patient with him verbally walk through what you’re doing together and the scenes and play will get better. Your mind will settle as you both get more scenes, massages and training under your belts.

The Body

Preparing the body is about relaxing the muscles so that you can show up uninhibited and at ease. Run or do some yoga stretches then take a HOT shower or bath. (If you are doing anal play or sex, clean out your colon with a water cleanse a few days before or with an enema of some type.) While in the bath/shower you may want to have a couple orgasms. I know desensitizing you a bit keeps the body more relaxed and takes the edge off. Please all subMrs, ASK YOUR SIR BEFORE or ASK PERMISSION for those orgasms. You are not only asking to get permission because that what a committed subMrs does but because by you asking it is showing him that you are working within the rules he has set. This asking permission builds his Dominance and him in his role. You should have built your foundations and walls, now you knit them together showing commitment and trust in your husDOM. So you can use your hand held shower , which I call “Delta”. She will help you with those desensitizing orgasms. Afterwards pamper your skin and put on your softest robe. Another quick “lk” tip is pre lubricate internally with a lubricated suppository.

husDOM Tips

Make sure to think ahead of your massage or scene. What are you going to use to stay clean, what are you going to use on your subMrs during your anal experience? What supplies should you have ready for your disposal or use?

Groom Fingers & Hands: Remind your Sir to trim and file his nails. Short blunt nails will help avoid damaging delicate skin on and around the anus and means less area for bacteria to sit in. Wash hands thoroughly like you are going into surgery.

Anal Play, Anal sex, Anal Massage, Anal Training,, Married Dominance and submission,  submissive community, how to be submissive, D|s-M
Latex Fingers

Gloves, Condoms & Dental Dams: Most couples use latex gloves, have them handy. Also, have a condom or two handy, as they can be used on the end of your wands and toys and fingers. Also, let’s not forget use them on your your Sir’s penis. Some Dominant’s enjoy ringing the anus with their tongue, you can cut open a condom for this or use a dental dam.

Anal Play, Anal sex, Anal Massage, Anal Training,, Married Dominance and submission,  submissive community, how to be submissive, D|s-M
Dental Dam

Supplies: LUBE, LOTS! … silicon based many prefer with anal. Make sure your condoms, gloves & toys/tools can be safely used with silicon lube. Also, bring some wet wipes to wipe up access and keep things cleanly. Anal Accessories can include; Beads, Wand, Ramps, Probes, Plugs & Dilators.

Anal Massage

Anal massage when used in Married Dominance and submission or D|s-M can be used in two ways. First way is vanilla, but no less important. You may have heard this type of massage called, de-armoring massage. A de-armoring massage is therapeutic, rather than sexually intimate. It can be used along with a full-body massage. This massage includes the groin and genital areas along with external and internal massage points in and around the anus or “rosebud”. The focus is about releasing tension, anxiety and stress to the muscles of the chest & lower abdomen that have become consistently tight. The second way to use anal massage is in more a sensual and sexual manner, such as a D|s-M scene, play or training. The focus with this type is on helping the receiver or submissive to connect to and understand how to sexually respond to her husDOM or Dominant. The subMrs learns how to relax, move, contract or relax her “rosebud” for her Dominant husband. The Dominant can use this type of massage for fore-play with or without tools/toys or just for training her to use her rosebud as he wishes. Most times the training helps with preparation for anal penetrative sex. All the nerve endings in and around the anus makes the anal massage or play very enjoyable and rewarding experience for partners. Either way you use the anal massage it is working on familiarity and trust between the couple.

Anal Play, Anal sex, Anal Massage, Anal Training,, Married Dominance and submission,  submissive community, how to be submissive, D|s-M
“The Rosebud”

How To Do an Anal Massage

How to do a sensual anal massage is in my Anal Sex Article. This is how Mr. Fox and I do one. You eventually will make it your own.

Anal Training

The term anal training is used to describe the preparation in training the anus or a submissive’s rosebud to become accustomed to anal play and full penetrative sex. In D|s-M anal training is used to not only prep for anal intercourse but in training the subMrs body to perform for her master or husDOM in any way he pleases. The reality is most submissive’s, unless very anal active as vanilla wife, is not ready to have anal sex without preparation. After playing, fondling and training with the rosebud over time makes any type of anal attention enjoyable. Don’t fall for the newbie training where you are instructed to install a plug for hours in the morning then that night after a romantic dinner you are to remove it and have this fantastic Dominant and submissive scene. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO PERFORM! Your most tender tissues will be inflamed and you will be devastated knowing that you could not do what was planned, unknowably did what you were told and then feeling like you failed. So in review, you shouldn’t decide you want to try anal penetration and immediately grab the biggest, thickest butt plug you can find and install it for hours then expect anything more than a SORE ASSHOLE! Training your anus to be comfortable with penetration and stimulation is a slow process. You start with massage, inserting something small, like the tip of a finger, Gradually work your way up to larger toys. The penis is your “END GOAL” sorry I had to use it!  

Anal Training

You will eventually will be introduced to beads, small/medium anal plugs, probes, dildos, larger plugs & even anal hooks! (I tried to put them in an order of my suggestion of what to use in slow steps in training.) Anal training is important to ensure the enjoyment of anal sex for both partners. It is NOT just you in this training, your Sir even if as vanilla he used your anus. (Like the once a year drunken..oops wrong hole but we will go with it… OUCH!!!) A submissive as well as her Dominant are both are in training. You how to use it, work it for your enjoyment s well as as his instruction. You husDOM is learning his likes as a Dominant and then how to work your body, his penis for your pleasure and his. So remember in training slow and small eventually gets the worm… LOL!

Anal Orgasm

An orgasm is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region during the practice of sexual pleasure. An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like an orgasm that’s achieved through anal stimulation. 

Anal Play, Anal sex, Anal Massage, Anal Training,, Married Dominance and submission,  submissive community, how to be submissive, D|s-M

While the anus itself has many nerve endings, their purpose is NOT specifically for inducing orgasm. This makes woman submissive achieving orgasm solely by anal stimulation is VERY rare. Adding direct stimulation of the clitoris, A and or G-spot area, while engaging in anal sex can help some women enjoy the activity and reach an anal or vaginal orgasm during anal play, massage or sex. Women don’t have a prostate, like men, which can orgasm anally from stimulation of the prostate alone because of where it is located in the man’s body. Women still experience intense pleasure from anal penetration. Just as a full bladder can put enough pressure on the vagina to cause arousal, so does the pressure from anal penetration. There are arms of clitoral tissue along both sides of the vaginal canal, and any movement in the area can stimulate this deep clitoral tissue. The shared “wall” separating the rectum and vagina can in the right position, cause the G-spot or A-spot to be stimulated by the anal penetration, then aiding in giving an anal orgasm.


Just a quick note on the A-Spot. What is the A-Spot? The A-spot, or anterior fornix, is a sensitive patch of tissue located deep inside the vagina, approximately 5 or 6 inches inside. Some say it imitates the prostate gland of the male.

Seeing Stars Story

The first time Mr. Fox and I had a scene where we had complete success and it included anal sex, meaning I had succeeded in my all anal training relaxing and contracting my anus at his command to enhance the sex and play during our scene. It gave me a complete body orgasm. This lead me to see stars or black dots. The orgasm came on slow but it burned and cooled and kept flowing through my body. I was amazed how the training has enriched the experience. Believe that anal training is a real thing and take it on as you would any hobby and DO YOUR BEST! I since then have experienced it a couple times, usually after VERY long scenes that involve double penetration while having a wand stimulating my clitoris.

Anal Play, Anal sex, Anal Massage, Anal Training,, Married Dominance and submission,  submissive community, how to be submissive, D|s-M

I encourage submissives to explore and learn how to use their bodies to create wonderful scenes with their husDOMs. Find your stars and earn your stripes…



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  1. Thank you for your post. We have thoroughly enjoyed adding anal play to our table. It was a very scary thing for me and required me to fully trust my Sir in an area that I had never thought of opening up to him. I’m very happy we have worked thru my fears anf are continuing to explore and enjoy this type of play.