How Bad Do You Want It? | Married Dominance and submission

How Bad Do You Want It?

The number one question I have found that I am asking new submissive’s is, How Bad Do You Want it? Meaning how bad do you want married Dominance and submission.  Most times all of the submissive’s issues come down to me asking them this question.  What are you really willing to do to achieve your “happily ever after”? Do you want a lifestyle built on Respect, Trust, Honest Communication and Love? Do you want to be that lady in the street and the freak in the sheets that every husband wants? What is your goal? Do you want the “MORE” that Married Dominance and submission can give you and your marriage?

Road Blocks

When I talk to submissive’s about their road blocks there is usually two things that are happening. First, they are having a disagreement with their husDOM’s and they can not seem to get back on track, no matter what they do.  It’s their Sir’s fault, their Dominant’s just don’t understand.  Or secondly, submissives feel as if they have put in the time to sub-porting their role and somewhere along the way their husDOM has stopped doing in his part or maybe never got his part started, the way the submissive wants.   I express to the submissive that they have to look FIRST at themselves and see what or how they could change their own behavior so that it could trigger their Sir’s actions.  In essence the submissive gets what she wants, his DOMinance.  “This I call submissive mirroring.” Submissive Mirroring is not for the bratty or the stubborn topping subMrs. This exercise is about being able to control yourself and not react. NO SELFISH BEHAVIOR.  You many times have to put what you think is the perfect result or what you think should happen and the way you think it should happen away. Accept that and be flexible and the rewards are MANY!

Big Picture

You will need to remind yourself of  “THE BIG PICTURE”,  What’s your goal? The goal is to have a magical Dominance and submission marriage, right?  Your goal is your prize!  Keep your mind on the prize. Whatever is happening or not happening between you and your Dom, you have to keep in mind what it is you’re working for.  As time goes by the stakes are higher.  You work so hard for so long, you don’t want to waste the time and effort put in.

Setting Intension

Set Your Intentions.  Think about what you are trying to create in your life, your marriage.  This means, look at the end product, and the behaviors, attitudes and traits you would like to see yourself develop in order to get there.  Look at the foundations, then the tools and of course submissive charms.  If you can find a connection to these things and a balance, you are sure to get exactly what you want!

How Bad Do You Want It? | Married Dominance and submission

Pdimage 10/19

Recommended1 recommendationPublished in All submissive, Learning Dominance submission, lk's Blog Posts, New Submissives, submissive Inspiration, submissive Inspiration, submissive Mindset, submissive Mindset

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  1. GREAT post LK! I will never forget being a new submissive and you asking me that question at a time that all I was doing was complaining about Sir. And throughout the years, when I feel like things aren’t going the way I want them to…I hear your voice in my head asking, “How bad do you want it?” Love ya lady!

    1. When things are stale or seem to be flattening out…… You have to reinvent it. To reinvent you have to “WANT IT” again. Ask yourself….. Can I improve my marriage? Could my marriage stand to be improved…. Could your intimacy due with some more flame? Our marriages are cyclical and you have to always be working on changing things up! Thanks for your constant sub-port! XOXO LK

  2. Man LK, how true it is! When I stopped getting mad because he was not giving me what I thought I wanted and focused on my attitude, mouth and behavior my Sir came right out of his shell and made it HIS way which turns out is what I wanted.

  3. First, thank you for writing and sharing this post. Second, after reading it a couple times, I have a question about it. In my mind, there is a contradiction in what’s been written. To quote: “I express to the submissive that they have to look FIRST at themselves and see what or how they could change their own behavior so that it could trigger their Sir’s actions. In essence the submissive gets what she wants, his DOMinance.” Then later, “NO SELFISH BEHAVIOR.” Isn’t having the motive to change your submissive behavior to get your Sir to be more dominant being selfish? I mean, it seems like the focus should be on, as a submissive, I want to be more submissive and be the best submissive I can be, regardless of whether my husband starts to be more dominant. I would think having this “If I do this, then he might/will do this” mentality would breed discontentment, bitterness, frustration, and a non-submissive heart and mindset in the long run. I am a submissive wife. My submission is not a condition that can come and go or something I use to manipulate my husband into acting the way I want or think he should be behaving. It is a state of being of who I am. If my husband isn’t being dominant, I’m still a submissive and submitting to him. I still want to grow in my submission to him regardless of how dominant he is or being at the time. This is who I am.

    1. One thing I always tell every subMrs in these posts is take what works and leave behind what doesn’t. This will hit youat the right stage of your journey. This post is pointed more toward new subs. You can never compare yours to someone else’s because we are all so different. I wrote this as well to help new subs after speaking to hundreds, through out the years, this is a very common issue. This post is speaking to the many subMrs that are having “road blocks” getting started in the lifestyle, so the mindset in this post is to give them an overall perspective and most importantly HOPE. In the beginning a lot of subMrs need to compartmentalize thoughts to help them get on their feet. As we get further into our journeys our thought process goes deeper and this is what is happening here with you. As you get more seasoned you adjust your mindset to be even more less self-serving.
      When I speak of selfish behavior … I should have put in a hyphen self-ish… Where you are only thinking and pointing your finger toward your DOM. It’s about putting yourself and your maybe bad behaviors behind so you can accept your role and responsibility of those behaviors… Congrats… You now show that you and your journey has come along to new heights… Keep growing !!! If you have any further questions, I welcum you to email me HUGS!

  4. LK,
    This post is definitely and eye opener. I try really hard to focus only on my submission but I know for the first year it wad a struggle. I took everything my Sir did or didn’t do as a sign that he didn’t wasnt this. I had this internal struggle if wanting to submit fully but trying to dictate my Sirs Dominance. I didn’t trust my Sir to take us where I wanted us to go or to even want to go there himself. With the help of subMrs, I’ve learned that if I’m truly giving my submission to my Sir then he directs where we go and how long it takes. I’ve been so much more content since truly implementing this mindset and my Sir finally has the chance to show his Dominance without me interfering. It’s really about getting out of my own way and enjoying the journey! I 😘😘😘😘