Lights, Camera & Action!
I usually speak from experience and I have a desperate need during my scenes that I want to talk about in this post. I have a feeling many of us submissives desire a firm hand and to be completely controlled. We are their tools and love to feel it deep down and have them use us to pleasure not only themselves but to bring pleasure to both involved. This builds the necessary element of Domination and submission……
Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
*Not just trust in him/her or trust in their role… but trust in the dynamic. It really works…
For Sir to take the control and make the scene fulfill both of us is a huge undertaking, one that he delves into with delight. This is how I know he loves his role as my Dominant. This makes me smile sooo deep inside. We are growing …WE!! I still have to pinch myself daily. I have always had a special something in my marriage but now it is truly MAGICAL. Have you said the same?
Back to my post… The subject of this post, Direction and the need a submissive has for it during play-time or scene. I would love to tell you all that your play or scenes will go seamless right from the beginning but, NO… they won’t. It takes lots of work on both sides, Dominant and submissive’s. You have to practice your play and scenes. How do you do that? Practice small parts of a scene during some play or vanilla-with-a-twist sex… Rope..Your Sir can tie you as a part of your play. My Sir has sat as we watch a show on TV and practice harness’. Let your Dominant know that you can find ways to do pieces of play while doing other things.. Use every chance you get to train yourself or work together to make scenes better. You will not be sorry. The more you put in the better they get. You as a submissive and his/her tool have to always work on preparing yourself for your D/s.
Preparing your soul, mind & body
Your Soul…. You have to in your soul want to submit to your Dominant. You deep inside have to want to do your part and in the beginning, be willing to do more than your part. You have to be able to feed your own soul at first. You have to make the right atmosphere, one that Domination and submission can grow and feed both of you. Make piece with your past and wipe the slate clean.
Your mind…. you have to try to keep a constant mind set. How can you make it a scene or play better. How do you please your Dominant in the best way? There is nothing you can do better then following your Dominant’s directions and submitting to his needs and desires is what will help him grow in his role. How I changed my mindset was I thought, do the opposite as what I would think as a “vanilla”/controlling wife. Keep this question in your mind at all times, “how do I show my Sir that I am committed to my role as his submissive?” Show him in every way you can think of….
**Always show control over yourself and respect toward your Dominant. You will get better as time goes by.
Your body…. Learn your body, so you can make it work for your Dominant. At first you will need to communicate to him/her verbally. Show your Dominant what makes your body more responsive and receptive. Learn how to cum for him and on his demand. Find out what pleases him most.
Learn your Dominants body. You do this in Body Exploration/Discovery play and scenes. Ask them about things that turn them on. Find and work on how to make his body work. Make sure you ask his preferences and follow them. Your bodies will change as you go deeper into BDSM so do these Exploration/ Discovery scenes every few months. Do these not only physically but verbally. Sit in Downtime and communicate and communicate more. Soon your bodies will work together like a machine. Your scenes will extend in time and depth. Your bodies and minds will soon be one when you scene. It’s as close as two people can get with out crawling completely inside one another’s skin, literally.. It takes time but its worth it.
Finally, learn how to take direction from your Sir. Practice your responses to his direction.. Just as he learns how to give them to you. Practice.. Practice… Practice……
I would like to think my movements were always fluid with my Sir’s during scenes but in the beginning I always felt awkward with my hands. Where do they go? Where does he want them? If there’s no cuffs on, what was his expectation? I want DIRECTION. I have a definite need to know what I am doing is right for my Sir. I ache for instruction. I am so good at taking it and making the best of it.
How did I figure these things out? I communicated with my Sir in Downtime. I asked him these exact questions. We made rules for play/scenes for my hands. This way I know his expectations. So, when he swiftly smacks my ass and says “Hands” I know to pay attention and place them where they are supposed to be.
When Sir has not given me a place to put my hands I am to place them above my head/face up and behind my back/face down, If I am laying down. If I am standing at rest they are to be at my sides. I am not to touch Sir or myself without his permission. This way I follow my rules if he doesn’t verbalize what he wants at that time. I encourage everyone to review their scenes after your aftercare and once recovered from your play. Sit and talk about how you each can improve. Talk about what you both really liked and what did NOT work. You will gain so much from doing this. Then you will not repeat those things that did not work for you both. You can shape and build your scenes the way you both like them.
To finish up… I think that the more you let your Dominant know that you wish for direction the more he will oblige. Keep in mind your D/s is always a work in progress and never will reach an end… If you’re lucky. You will keep on the journey learning and having new experiences. If you rush through these experiences you can not savor them and make the most of them. You want to do something new in your D/s then open up the idea and let it breath… Slowly swish the ideas in your mouth like a fine wine…… Before swallowing them or acting on them. You will appreciate them so much more if you plan them out and practice and work toward that common goal. Then you will be sure that you’re both ready for those steps. Sexual gratification should not be taken lightly in any way for either one of you especially done within a marriage. So there’s nothing wrong with taking things slowly. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Go at your own pace. Some will move quicker but it doesn’t make their D/s any better then yours. No two are the same due to circumstances are different in every dynamic. D/s within a marriage or LTR is a totally different thing then it is with singles. We are all submissives but not all married ( subMrs.) to our Dominants. Again, one is not better than the other but just different.
Build it strong before taking BIG steps and make them TOGETHER. Enjoy everything you do… It should always be fun…… It’s a LIFESTYLE!
Any questions.. LOL, Email me anytime at LK@subMrs.com or Private message me in the community messaging.
Little Kaninchen, subMrs.
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