Submissive Soul Searching
(A.K.A. Kneeling Challenge)
Kneel, What Do You Feel?
What does it mean to kneel? Socially, kneeling, similarly to bowing, is associated with reverence, submission and obeisance, particularly if one kneels before a person who is standing or sitting: the kneeling position renders a person defenseless and unable to flee. For this reason, in some religions, in particular by Christians and Muslims, kneeling is used as a position for prayer, as a position of submission to God. ~ Wiki
*** I have knelt now for over 5 years. Everytime, I’ve been the student more often than the teacher. My dynamic originally came from trial and error and looking at and talking to single subs. There wasn’t much out here for the married D/s couples to learn from. My Journey was NOT about religion but about a deep feeling of wanting a submissive dynamic that I had read about in the trilogy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Not a how to book but so inspiring and life changing. I think submission chose me. I made sure the thing we would do I could live with in my heart. I have had time to chew and swallow & create the D/s-M dynamics. I do not expect everyone to grasp or conceive this post the way it is meant to be understood. This is all meant to be taken in a positive and uplifting manner. What you learn and gain each time you do this challenge will change as you go deeper into your journey. If you can just take in small parts and begin the process of comprehending where you are and where you want to go then this has done its job. ~LK
How do I know that I am submissive?
Am I really meant to be “a submissive” ?
Will this work for my Marriage?
Can I be vulnerable and let go of control ?
Can I forgive or be forgiven?
These questions I get almost everyday in some way. I have found a way for you to answer your own questions. Kneel! As an Intimacy Coach I will tell you, you have all the answer’s to your questions internally. Sometimes we don’t recognize it or want to admit what we know to be true. A kneeling exercise will give you time to center yourself and do that submissive soul searching that is so important for you to grow and you help your D/s-M grow. This will be a the time for things to raise to the surface. Those things deep in the corners of your mind or the things you try to not think about. Some will be directly related to your submission and D/s-M and many issues will emerge showing you they need to be dealt with before you can go further in your submission or dynamics. They will show themselves in your kneeling time. You think about them and then communicate about them with your husDOM.
If you come to me as a brand new submissive or as an experienced one I tell you to make sure you have the foundations and you must do a Formal Acceptance. In this Formal Acceptance I advise that you must put yourself out there and be vulnerable. Being vulnerable to your future (Dominant) or husDOM is a must. When your Sir sees you in the kneeling position in the nude he will take you very seriously. Seeing this part of you & your commitment to asking for what you desire will help him engage into his role as a Dominant. The best thing is he will get vulnerable and flexible as well. If you have done a Formal Acceptance then you know how your heart aches and your legs quiver. This feeling of submission comes up and fills you….it can not stay inside and you’ll risk it all to achieve the fantasy that you have read about and come to crave.
I am going to challenge everyone this next week to Kneel. Sit in your room nude by yourself, kneeling. When you do this try to get yourself in the open part of your room. Trying it in front of a mirror if you can. This adds another element that we will touch on in discussions. Kneel on a pillow if you wish, for 10 minutes. Sounds like a short time but when you’re in this position its long enough. If you have trouble in the standard kneel position then find a position that makes you feel vulnerable. I am not asking you to meditate but to soul search. Sit and experience what the kneeling makes you feel.
How do you start? I usually center myself and count myself in first. 1-10 . Kneel, get down and put a part of you to the floor that sets your root. Visualize it the roots coming from your knees, toes, feet even your bottom. Feel all the roots become deep and strong. Then, clear your mind and visualize a cloak of warm gold liquid pouring over your head covering you in a safety and protection. Feel the perfection of it, relax your muscles, starting at your head and move down your whole body. You’re rooted and warm. Now, clear your mind, use your three deep breathes and begin.
After every session I want you to write down what you thought about in the order you thought about it. Write down any feeling that you felt connected to those thoughts.
Number ONE RULE! You have to be honest. Please be honest to yourself and your husDOM.
Please do this for at least a week, getting at least 5 session in. I would like you to discuss the soul searching with your Dominant in downtime after your week is up. As you describe your experience you can refer to what you wrote. If you get emotional, and you will, he will be able to reference what you wrote and understand why it’s happening.
We will have a live submissive chat about our thoughts feelings during our submissive soul searching in the Scheduled chatroom. During discussion we will talk about the over all experience we had and how our downtime discussions with our husDOM’s happened.
What do you feel?
Do you feel turned on?
Do you have an overwhelming need to cry?
Are you crying happy tears or sad ones?
Do you feel like rejoicing?
Do you feel angry?
Do you feel like you’re being controlled, in a good way or a bad one?
Did you get wet?
Do you feel embarrassed about it?
Do you feel FREE? Like you grew wings…..
Did you feel tied down?
Do you feel nothing?
Are all kinds of things bubbling out?
Is your mind wondering? ……. What am I going to make for dinner? LOL.. seriously, are you preoccupied with something else? What was it?
Does it feel forced?
Does it feel very natural?
Do your knees hurt, Do you like that pain?
Do you feel opened up and raw?
Did you close things out? What were they?
Do you have a hard time kneeling for the total time?
Too BAD! LMsAO….
What are you thinking & feeling?
What is the goal of this exercise? It really is up to you. You may first feel what submission means to you. Things will pop out to you that need to be dealt with before you can move forward using this dynamic. A lot of the time, you will find those internal or external blocks keeping you from your general happiness thus keeping you from enjoying your journey D/s-M. These can be general vanilla issues or a D/s-M topic questions that you need more information about. This challenge will give you the answers you’re looking for or at least the time to gain that perspective you need to deal with it. I recently got certified as a Life and Energy Coach, my specialty in Relationship Coaching, adding to what I can offer to our communities. Please contact me email LK@subMrs.com or Private Message me on site to discuss setting up a private coaching session or joining a submissive group coaching session that will will be offering in the near future.
The biggest benefit couples get from this is having this process of communicating in honesty in a downtime, D/s-M way. You as a sub get to think, feel, communicate and take action on what’s happening in your life, fulfilling your new role.
Another important issue, speaking of roles. After the submissive soul searching I have had ladies question the dynamics or if they fit in the “label” of a submissive. If you’re not a submissive, you could be a bottom, a switch, or simple someone who wants to have the experiences but not the lifestyle. Which is fine to feel any of these ways. No one is right or wrong. You find what you feel or connect with most then it is what is right for you. Maybe you want to taste each one of these labels before deciding. Some of the most well rounded dynamics come from experiencing each one of these things. Wouldn’t you want to know where you fall into this whole new life? Wouldn’t it be great to quit spinning your wheels trying to be something that you’re not and instead grow a seed into something that changes your life and your marriage and you internally and all for the better? You know that you fit into this kinky world.. but where do you belong within it? Take your time and explore and enjoy!
There are many different types of submissive’s. You can get online and there are many types listed. Many different types of subs participate in different activities. I could list a page or two of them but for my sanity and for the sake of what I see and have experience with I will list the types that I see in D/s-M, or types that can live with-in a marriage. You probably are a mix of all these but one type you have the most of. Sexual, You are only a sexual submissive, in and or out the bedroom. Domestic/Service, You love to serve and get your fulfillment from doing so. Having said that, some are hung up on are you 24/7. Meaning are you always D/s-M and practicing it all day every day. I am going to be honest, 24/7 means nothing here. If you are married and adding D/s-M to your marriage in the bedroom and out then yes in essence you are 24/7. It’s team work and you have to both work on things and you both have to enjoy things. You start in the bedroom and it comes out when it can and if it cant or has to retreat back into bedroom at stages then that is ok to. NO JUDGEMENTS! We are real couples with real lives and real families all of us adding the magic that D/s-M offers. You’re simply D/s-M…….. Whew…. I luv it!
Let’s define some labels. Labels, yes they are a necessity. It’s the energy people put around them that can hurt. Be as accepting and non-judgemental as you can about them.
What is a TOP ? A DOMinant partner in BDSM play like flogging, bondage, Leadership & Training, humiliating, and sexual play and scenes. This partner plans and applies stimulation to another, and who may or may not be dominant.
TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM:
Topping from the bottom is a BDSM term, meaning a person simultaneously adopts the role of bottom and dom. You are NOT Topping from the bottom if your Sir (DOM) is new and you are guiding him respectfully into his role. If your Dominant is an experienced then you may be Topping him/her if you are telling him/her what they should be doing.
What is a Bottom? Let’s talk about this a little so that “bottoms” can start to recognize what they are. If you are not totally comfortable with being submissive…You may be one of the following… It’s a real group and it is barely starting to be recognized. In some submissive worlds and our world even we all place an expectation on ourselves. We may even feel bad if we are bottoms. We have to understand our sexuality and not feel bad about what we feel like inside. You may start as a submissive and decide to be a bottom… It is all ok ..drop the expectations of what you think or caring what you think others think.
A bottom is the partner who receives stimulation from another, and who may or may not be submissive. This partner enjoys submission on a their terms only. They will command and direct the play and scenes. Also, a bottom in BDSM does not have to be the receptive partner; for example, a female dominant may command her submissive to penetrate her.
What does it mean to be a Switch?
A switch someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or (in the case of dominance and submission) sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. The best thing you can do in this situation is define things carefully on what you want and expect at every experience. Again, I have had a few women and men switch and it can get very confusing. You both have to be honest with one another and accept what you both are feeling and feel NO GUILT in it. Try it and if it feels right then Accept it, Embrace it become it. If its not what both partners want then it can destroy a D/s relationship. Do it on a trial bases and talk through every step…. HONEST COMMUNICATION… is what this is all about… for all of us. We all have work to do and experiences to work toward. Switching is a real dynamic…. explore and have fun with it.
What we all have in common is our submission….. We all belong within the realm of D/s. We all are submissive in some aspect. Are we not? Set intensions and goals and work toward them. I wish you all wonderful journeys no matter the way you get there… You will get there with sub-port here with subMrs. and husDOM .
Kneel, What Do You Feel and Submissive Soul Searching
Kneel, Am I a submissive?
Submissive Centering Challenge/Exercise
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