Foundations of Domination and submission for Married Couples, D/s-M

Foundations of Domination and

submission for Married Couples, D/s-M

  • Honesty – A fairness and straight forwardness of conduct.

  • Communication – A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behaviors.

  • Trust – Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something or one in which confidence is placed. 

  • Respect – Expressions of high or special regard or deference.

  • Intimacy, all types not just sex! – The state of being or having intimate familiarity.

  • Love – Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

Want to know more or how these work in a Domination and submission dynamic for Married Couples? Sign up for an Elite Membership on!

Foundations of Domination and submission for Married Couples, D/s-M


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  1. The foundations seem so simple, yet their effect can be so profound. I think most married people would say that they have these 6 things in their marriage until they dig a little deeper. Wolf and I had an amazing marriage before D/s-m but the changes that we have made over the last year, working on those “simple” foundations, have made our marriage better than it has ever been. Even after 33 wonderful years these foundations still have had a substantial effect on both of us.
    And this is not just about sex! For us, there have been many more changes in our everyday lives. These foundations can completely change your marriage. All of it, not just in the bedroom..

    1. I can relate to your experience very much. Our marriage has been amazing but it is funny how we thought things were great and now while we work through these foundations again with a D/s-M view, it is amazing how much we were lacking. We really didn’t think our relationship was missing anything monumental. Well, it wasn’t missing them entirely, we have just come to know that we can make it even better.

      Honestly, revisiting these foundations has given me a fresh new feeling in my marriage. I had no clue I could love even more than I was.

      Thank you for joining here! I appreciate that I am not the only one who has a long term marriage that is transitioning into D/s-M. I feel like my situation has some uniqueness to it that might not fit the average model coming into this dynamic. I enjoy reading your views and take comfort knowing that I am not alone in making this change after so long in a marriage.

  2. Gosh LK…I can’t even imagine not having a foundation! It is what has kept us from failing when things have gotten hard. I am so glad and appreciate that you taught me, and so many others, that it is a vital step in how to start and have made it so important to obtain in the beginning and maintain throughout.

  3. I’m sad to say that we did not always have these foundations in place in our relationship. Communication and respect were definitely lacking until we started D|s – M. My Sir tried so hard to get me to open up but I was the type of person to just shut down if things were bothering me. We either didn’t talk or we yelled. I’m not saying we are perfect now, but we are so far from where we were it is amazing. I don’t know where we would be if we didn’t start this lifestyle but I do know I never want to go back to where we were.

    1. Thank you for commenting! I think many of us were in the same place as vanilla couples. We no longer valued each other and no longer practiced these most important foundations. Thank you for sharing!