submissive Limits | Soft Limits and Hard Limits

submissive Limits, Soft Limits and Hard Limits, subMrs, D/s-M, BDSM Limits List

submissive Limits | Soft Limits and Hard Limits

In Domination and submission there are soft limits and HARD limits referring to the activities during BDSM scenes or playtime.  The Limits can be set by either party the submissive or the Dominant. These limits can be based on your feelings, tolerances and interests in trying an activity.  Limits can be formally drawn up between the couple and even negotiated. You should review these limits at least every 6 months.  I have provided a brief description of what these limits means below.

Soft Limits

Are meant to be pushed and broken.

Your Sir will quickly take you there… With a need to Challenge them and then Conquer them.

Later you will wonder why it was a limit in the first place.

Hard/HARD Limits

These mean different things to different submissives

Hard limit may mean these are things that you wouldn’t want to approach.
Your Sir will try to take you there maybe in small increments. You’ll want to try it after you have taken a couple bites or gotten a little time under your submissive belt.

You will also want to do it again as soon as you’ve conquered it. Lol!

Then there’s HARD limits… No WAY… Not Happening…EVER!
These limits will need to be discussed in original negotiations when you sit in downtime with your Sir.  Be honest… Let your Dominant know your true feelings.
They will take you as high and as hard as you can go. Nothing worse then to have your Sir in process of doing a scene and find you in shock during or after, due to a flashback or trigger.







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  1. That’s a lovely picture! I just emailed it to M. And oh, how true! That is why I try really hard not to safeword. I trust in Him to know what my body and mind can handle, more than I trust myself. *hugs and kisses*

    1. Thank you… It was a fitting image… I’m honored you sent it onto your Sir… That’s a big compliment… Hugs! ❤

  2. I really like what you said about the advantage of a HusDom pushing your limits and about the distinction of hard limits. There are hard limits that’s should not ever be pushed because they go in the category of “holy ground.” There are things that are central and core to my beliefs that if I’m pushed to break, I would walk. They are beyond hard limits because they would force me to make a choice no one should ever be asked to make, whether they agree or not. These are the things that are the very essence of my existence and ultimately why he fell in love with me in the first place. BUT there are hard limits that I am personally reconsidering, for example, fisting, which was an extreme hard limit for me. I’ve given it so much thought for the last year and have read up on it. My asshole of an ex husband made this a hard limit for me due to the pain he inflicted on me. Why should I let my Sir suffer from the “sins” of an ex. He would never force me because he wants my trust and I know I am safe in his hands. Pushing limits in this case would be to my benefit because it’s something that I actually need to overcome and I think that it might be a cathartic, dare I say, spiritual experience.

    1. I really feel for you regarding the X (Jerk)…, I think that if you feel safe and feel that doing fisting with your Sir may even heal something inside you …. Then go for it… Talk to your Dom explain this exact post and comments to him…BEFORE… of course. It will be a scene/session that undoubtedly sacred and tearful…. Let your husDom tear down that wall…. IF you’re sure!

  3. There are just times when you have to go after your own healing. You can’t wait on it anymore. Even if it hurts like hell you have to go after it and break it. I really want to know if any of the fears that I have are rooted in this. I need to deal with this part of my life once in for all.

  4. It’s really important to have limits. But I think this is something I love about TTWD.. to explore and push your limits. For exampel.. I hated anal because we had tried it once and did not do it well.. no lube and no warm up.. I hated it for years.. But then we started discussing it again and reading up on how to do it properly.. And after a lot of training and reprogramming my brain.. I now absolutely love anal. And have had som of my most powerful orgasms during anal. So now I’m al for trying new things and pushing my limits. Of course I have my big no nos/hard limits. And as you said. Always be honest about that.