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The dreaded "P" word…Patience
I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that I struggle with patience. I know that a lot of you do as well. I’ve gotten better over the last 2 1/2 years but it is still a struggle. This lack of patience can be seen in dealing with my teenage children but my biggest struggle is with my amazing HusDom, BayoWolf. Unfortunately for me, he knows that I struggle with patience so, in his infinite care and kindness, he helps me learn…grrrr.
Al kidding aside I received a great lesson on patience yesterday at church, so I’m gonna pass it along to you.- The first lesson was simply the definition of patience: A Loving and Gracious waiting.
Even when I do manage to do the waiting part I’m pretty sure its not always Loving and certainly not Gracious. It would seem that my foot tapping and huffing shouldn’t be part of the loving and gracious waiting. Well crap. More work to do. -
A further explanation of a lack of patience: Often our lack of patience is out of an abundance of arrogance…this one hurt my heart. Do I really think my wants are more important than my Sir? I suppose I do think just that sometimes. When a package comes in and he is busy I really just want him to stop what he is doing and open the package! Not from any need of mine but because I want to know what is in the package!
That’s a silly example but it does hit what I need to work on…simply trusting BayoWolf and go on about my business of being the best sub for him that I can be. Waiting graciously and lovingly to serve him in whatever he needs. So the work continues…
- The first lesson was simply the definition of patience: A Loving and Gracious waiting.
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7 Replies
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PATIENCE! WOW, difficult for us all! It is the ultimate tool for a subMrs to learn.
The word that comes to mind is “RESPECT”…. respecting their time, as when we are busy and can not get to what they want from us, whatever reason there is.
(Using your box example, great one!)
I also want to say communication …. Communicate just how important the box is to you. Communicating it before it gets there or when it gets there. Let them know of your excitement, many times this will show them a way to involve their Dominance within the relationship.
Timing Tool, use it, know your timing. That means set things up ahead of time. Think ahead and guide what is important to you. The box is coming, mention your excitement. Day it’s coming, mention that. When it gets there…. “Sir, when can we open the box.” If he makes you wait, his DOM is engaging! Work with that, sometimes thats exciting. “Sir, is there anyway I can persuade you to cum and open the box?”
Again, impossible to do with everything but not impossible to do with things that are so important to you.
Just an idea and subMrs perspective!
LK
https://submrs.com/submissive-tools/
https://submrs.com/submissive-tools-s-submissive-mirroring/
https://submrs.com/showing-respect-to-your-dominant-domination-and-submission-marriage/
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Pearl, thank you for sharing. Its good to know that others struggle with this as well. I work on this everyday, sometimes with success and sometimes not so much! The definitions you gave really do shed new light on the subject. Something to reflect on during my kneeling challenge!
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Sir Ed and I were just talking about this last night. One of my strengths can also be my weakness. I am a crazy, obnoxious planner. I have checklists, spreadsheets, wish lists, to do lists, events and vacations coming up, budgets, etc. It goes on and on.
In my mind, the retreat will be here TOMORROW. So, yes I am a little crazy in the head knowing I have a few more details to work out and purchases to make. I have really been trying to be patient with my Sir. I have to WAIT for him to be READY mentally to talk to me about these things. Otherwise, he is not really absorbing what I am telling him and it goes in one ear and right out the other. And this leads to me getting really frustrated. Last night he was in the mood for “retreat talk.” He comforted my head and acknowledged that he knew I was starting to get to that panicked state. He assured me that everything will work out EVEN if a last minute detail pops up. He asked to see the itinerary and we made some decisions. It was really smooth. It was smooth because he was ready and in the right mindset. Forcing planning conversations on him never ends up well. LOL! PATIENCE! PATIENCE! PATIENCE!
By the way, I can’t wait until August!!!! Miss you all!
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Wow- this is hitting me too- patience- respect- grace- all words to describe our submission and I wish I could say they all describe me at this moment. I am struggling with some things which are not mine to control/fix but which still affect me. Fighting not to let if get in way of our dynamic- Buck has been patient and gracious with me. He set up chat for me on Saturday and took girls to the ball tournament so I could have time to be on. Thank you for the reminder- Kid free day/evening, we were able to meet for lunch and I am hoping/plotting/planning some time for us tonight. He is off to feed the horses and while he is gone I will get few things done here so I am not distracted by them and can put my whole focus on him- where it belongs.
<3
Wench -
I’ve been trying to be more patient, I hate that it’s so hard! From waiting for my Sir to get his Dom legs to waiting for him to be done dealing with a bug problem (It took 5…FIVE hours) before we could play because we had the house to ourselves. I guess recognizing that I was impatient and because of that disrespectful is a step in the right direction, right? I hope I’ll have more opportunity this week as he’ll be home every night. Yay! I soooo want to learn this! He’s been soooo patient with me over the last 17 years. I feel like it’s the least I can do.
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It is a long process for most of us and unfortunately many lessons and reminders are necessary. I’m beginning to think that it Willa,ways be a bit of a struggle for me.
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I’m glad that we all seem to struggle with patience, it’s good to have others struggling through the same things so we can help each other.
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