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He doesn't want me.
Ive been with my husband for 13 years, at the beginning our sex life was great. Obviously things change and life and whatever, but it got to the point where we just werent having sex. I mean months would go by, and it stayed like that and got worse for about 6 years. After several years of begging and prying and finally telling him Id leave if it didnt get fixed, he admitted to me that he wanted a D/s lifestyle. Not just sex, but lifestyle. It was everything I had always wanted. I had even asked for it in the past and I was just happy he came forward and told me what he wanted.
We’ve been actively working on this for about 2.5 months now. Not long. I have a lot more knowledge of the world and I have been doing my best to let him find his way and become the Dom he wants to be. The first month the sex was great again. We tried a couple scenes, we were connected, in tune. Now its very quickly going back to the way it was.
He is so very very much into every part of this, except the sex. We have rules, he takes control of situations, he uses toys and restraints on me, he just doesnt fuck me. Even in scenes, if he does, its not for long, and he loses interest very very quickly.
Im starting to feel like he is taking advantage of me. Not in a good way. I am hurt and lost. I love him and I am trying to very hard to be patient, but he strings me along. I do everything Im supposed to, and he promises me a reward (sex, sex is only a reward) and nothing. He never follows through. Every time we do have sex, it feels like hes doing it out of pure obligation and nothing else.
I had such high hopes for this. I wanted this. Now I just feel its the way its always been, with a different name on it.
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