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Submitting fully
I need some help ladies… I am new to this lifestyle and my husband and I are exploring what it is to be in this kind of relationship and are fully loving it except for a few things. I really struggle being a submissive (even though I absolutely love it) because of a few things. First off, my past makes it very difficult to ‘let go’ and allow myself to orgasm so it really frustrates him and I try to but I can’t seem to let go all the time.. Second off, I don’t mind being insubordinate because I have found that I really love impact play (hand or paddle) and it makes me want to be naughty which I realize I shouldn’t… So what I really need is advice on how to be submissive and allow myself to get out of my head and let him control me.. and some ideas on punishments I would actually not love..
Thanks… 🙂
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About the insubordination….think of punishment is not always what we might think in traditional measures…you like impact play…so its a reward not a punishment a more fitting punishment might mean that you don’t get any impact ;(
I have a very headstrong 3 year old…punishments and rewards don’t work. She refuses to potty train…no rewards, no punishments…I’ve tried everything. I think I might have finally figured it out…I walked away. No attention for her behavior. She through a FIT. but then she came and hugged and said Im sorry and for the first time in a LONG time, she didn’t have an accident today. So an apt punishment might be the removal of any attention. Just a thought.
Orgasms…Without going into an extremely complicated explanation, the past 18 months have been a crash course in psychology and mental health for me. I would like for you to consider what it is that makes it hard for you to “let go” is it a lack of control, a fear of judgement if you do let go? A lack of trust? (may be not in your Dom/H but a previous experience (sexual or not) with someone else where you “let go” and it didn’t work out? Just some thoughts…
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I’m right here with you on learning to let go so that I can orgasm. I can/do orgasm but it can take a while. I learned after after a lot of soul searching with Sir that mine is mostly fear of judgement. Silly me, I have a fear of looking strange when I orgasm. I know that it is really not the case. But it’s going to take time, patience, and a lot of coaching from Sir to get me where I can cum with ease. Hopefully one day He will be able to make me orgasm on command. In the meantime, I’m learning to relax and settle into Him. I’m so thankful for this dynamic. What a blessing!!!
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I think we all struggle with insecurities at one time or another. I think we are harder on ourselves and more critical than our Sirs ever are. I wrote this a long time ago, because Sir really did help me have a light bulb moment. I hope it helps you in some way!
https://submrs.com/submissive-forums/topic/open-your-eyes/
Smooches,
V
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Thanks V. I read your Open Your Eyes and the comments and very beautiful. We all are beautiful and made perfectly so for our Husdoms.
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As far as punishment goes, and it was addressed well above, it needs to be something that does not bring you pleasure. Spankings (with Sirs hand) could never be a punishment for me because I love It. It’s got to be something that you do NOT want to happen.
It’s always taken me a lot longer to orgasm than it does him. I think that’s normal / common. (??) So, trying to get to a point where you orgasm a whole lot faster may not be a matter of getting past the mental block you’re describing, although it is very important that you work on that, regardless of whether or not it causes you to orgasm more quickly.
I’m going to read the link V posted..
Thank you for sharing your experience and part of your journey with us. Hugs!!
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