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Staying out of my head- reluctant dom
Hi!
My husband and I talked about my wanting his dominance (in the bedroom to begin with) he seemed like he wanted to give it a go, said he’d join husDOM and look into it. We had a few times in the bedroom that were good, some spanking etc. However, he didn’t really look into things so just used the same things again and I just ended up frustrated.
I probably haven’t explained things amazingly but we’ve argued over the whole thing and he said he wasn’t really that bothered by it and it seemed a lot of work on his part, he didn’t get why we couldn’t just have sex like we used to. He reckons I’ve obviously done this in the past and he’s not living up to that.
I did have a boyfriend in the past who made me realise that I was submissive but he was not dominant actually domineering and although I was young I could see that although I felt I finally found myself sexually with him the relationship would end up abussive so I left.
I always want to please and am a person that is constantly in my head, when I’m having normal sex I can’t keep my out of my head but when a man is dominating me it’s like someone can take over me. The mental, vocal controlling, talking to me, telling me things while we’re doing stuff is the most important thing for me and what I crave the most.
I know he can do that as he’s done it before but he just sees it as too much effort?!
I don’t know how to explain it too him without him thinking he needs to live up to an ex.
When he spanked me it’s the talk I needed to make it work, i did tell him that and I know it’s not something that people always feel comfortable with from the get go. I just don’t know where to go from here. We have two kids and as much as I crave this I would never leave my husband as I love him massively I just think our marriage could be on a whole other level with such amazing intimacy if he gave things a go and was open minded.Any advice?
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3 Replies
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Thank you!
I’m still getting used to it all on here, do I post on warren chat or the new sub but?
Thanks again!
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Hey littleb84
Most of are in the warren chat room unless there is a scheduled chat that LK has planned. -
Give these a read. Just open a new window, copy and paste the link into your browser and they will take you to the blog posts.
https://submrs.com/how-to-begin-ds-m/
https://submrs.com/submissive-advise-formal-acceptance-ds-lifestylefsog-lifestyle/
https://submrs.com/foundation/
https://submrs.com/phases-of-dominance-submission-fsog-lifestyle-my-reality/
Smooches,
VHow to Begin D/s-M | Grey Marriage | A FSOG Type of Lifestyle
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