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New to play
Hello,
I’ll start with the back story incase it helps answer my questions better 🙂
My husband and I just got married on july 16th, our 5 year anniversary. For quite a while now our love life has been, well frankly it’s been almost non existent…completely my fault he always tries but I had just lost all my drive. I grew up in a very religious background so I think that had played a big role in me feeling guilty about being pleasured. Now that we have gotten married our sex life has started to turn around for the better! I finally feel able to explore the deeper connections of what we already have. My drive has come back! I started to do some research into D/s relationships since Ive always had a hidden side of me that loves to be sexually dominated. He is very alpha male but I am also alpha female, except when it comes to him. I love how he always keeps after me I feel safe and protected and it shows me I’m his. Weve always had a Dom/sub feeling to our relationship, i just never knew what it was. I’m still researching everything trying to see how things work and I’ve been hinting things to him to get a feel of his opinion. Example: he told me the other night on his way home he expected me to be naked and waiting for him. I’m a limit pusher and responded back “I don’t know if your dominant enough to make me” lol I know this is very cliché but I had him sit down and watch 50 shades because I just wasn’t sure how else to get the topic started. He actually made comments about wanting to show me who wears the pants and it made me pretty excited we were on the same page. I’ve been trying to be more submissive and he in turn has been being more dominant instead of just letting me push his buttons. So I guess my question is where do we continue from here? I’m not sure how to take things to the next level. Ideas and opinions?
- 3 Replies
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Mrs. C,
Have ya’ll actually decided to have a D/s-M relationship or are you just acting this way? I only ask because if you haven’t talked about it and both chosen to do this then you may or may not be on the same page which would obviously cause problems down the road. I also felt my Sir out to see how he would respond to a D/s relationship. I gauged his interest and then I found SubMrs completely on accident while doing research. When I felt ready for the transition which didn’t take long I formally asked my Husband to be my Dominant and accept my submission. You can read an article about Formal acceptance through this link (https://submrs.com/submissive-advise-formal-acceptance-ds-lifestylefsog-lifestyle/).
If you feel like you have already basically done that then I would address what you both expect out of this relationship. We talked about what we expected to gain personally and together out of a D/s-M relationship, why each of us wanted it, and we set some rules. They were just basic rules to guide our initial step into a D/s-M relationship that would set the tone to come. Sleeping naked, not using the word no (to adopt a more submissive tone), complete honesty, talking with respect, and wearing my collar when I am at home. We wound up with 7 technical rules but some were givens we just wanted to have them written down; like complete honesty. We already did that but we felt it was important to have it written down to show our commitment to it. Realistically it’s easiest to start with a few 3 or 4 and then when you’re ready add more. Both of the following articles are excellent to read when starting out (https://submrs.com/foundation/ and https://submrs.com/phases-of-dominance-submission/).
If you think your Sir would be interested he can always join HusDom (https://husdom.com/) which is the counterpart to SubMrs. Here he can talk to the other Doms and ask any questions he may have about starting out. I know at first my Sir was reluctant to get one but he does occasionally and enjoys his time on the site when he visits.
I’m not actually sure if this will help you but if you have any other questions of I didn’t actually answer what you were asking feel free to reply. The Ladies here are very sub-portive and if you ever have time to chat the Warren Chat is a great place to have questions answered immediately. Welcome to SubMrs and I hope you find this site as amazing as I do.
Sereia
Starting Your Foundation, Wiping the Slate & Climbing the Ladder in a D/s-Married Dynamic
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Thank you Sereia, you have helped me a lot I will look into all of the links you sent for me. I tested out the waters of submissing to him today after i got home from work…he has told me he’s started to see the change in me already and he is feeling my love towards him more. I want to make him truly happy since he makes me that way. Once I read what you sent me i’ll see if there’s any more questions I have! Thanks again I really appreciate it!
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That’s great! I think that shows he is definitely interested in this kind of relationship! One of the things I really have loved from this is how I feel like I am showing him more appreciation. While I was showing it before I think now it is deeper. Sometimes I wash him in the shower just because I want to take care of him especially after a long day at work. It is something so simple but when I vocalized why I did it I could tell he understood too. It was so intimate and powerful.
Like I said if you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask. Hopefully the links will give you some good information! Here is another post that I really love (https://submrs.com/bdsm-ds-married-lifestylesubmisson-being-fed-from-the-circle-power-exchanges/). It’s about feeding your Dom and submission.
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