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When life throws you a curve ball…….hit it back.
I didn’t plan on sharing this publicly with everyone but after much thought I’ve decided this is my place to give and get subport. I thought writing about it might just help me through the grieving process. Some of you know my husband and I have been trying for years to have a baby. After years of this process with no success and mostly heartache, we have decided to stop with the worrying and stress and just let it go. We had planned to come back to the idea in a year or two. This brought us to the world of D/s and ultimately to subMrs. This place has been a wonderful place for me and exactly what I needed to lift my spirits and help my husband and I find that spark that the constant stress of trying to have a child caused to disappear from our marriage.
It helped us relax in our lives so much that I actually got pregnant after 6 years of no luck. Of course I didn’t realize I was pregnant until it was too late. Last weekend I suffered a miscarriage at about 6 weeks pregnant. I pretty much learned I was pregnant once the miscarriage had begun. The feeling of knowing there is nothing you can do to save something you want more than anything in the world is unbearable. But like most tragic things that have happened in my life I must find a silver lining in the dark. The amazing thing is I actually got pregnant. So after all this time it is a relief to know that I can conceive again. Our plan now is to take this information and work with our doctor to figure what we can do to keep the miscarriages from happening.
My husband/Sir has been so amazing this last week. He has taken such wonderful care of me and shown me what it is to be truly cherished. After a week of mourning and grieving we are getting back on the saddle and picking up our D/s. I plan to put everything I have in showing him how much I appreciate what he does for me and how he takes care of me. My biggest fear about midway through the week was that this would change us and Sir would not want to continue what we had started. I’m so happy that he said absolutely not we will be living our life exactly as we have and growing with it. I’m so thankful to have my Sir in my life.I’ve found this week there are so many women that have experienced similar situations to what I’m going through. This made me realize that there might be someone here in our Warren that would get help from my story. That is why I’m sharing. Thank you to all the lovely submissives that have cared about me since I’ve joined this community and were there for me this week. We are all so blessed to have this community in our lives to provide us with this safe place.
Panda
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15 Replies
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Just wanted to say I am so sorry for you and your Sir’s loss. So happy for you though that you are both able to see the silver lining. It kind of surprises me but the D/s relationship seems to help get through some of the hard stuff of life more than I thought. We recently went through some stuff with my 19 year old college freshman. Long story but he didn’t want to live anymore…broke my heart. I let the D/s slip a little but my Husband my Dom my Sir took the reigns back and we will all come out the other side just fine. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Thinking of you girl! Here for you anytime you need. I am so sorry for your loss. But know you have so many thoughts and prayers sent your way. You are an amazing person and I hope the pain passes soon and you are surrounded with love. Xoxo~KLB
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We miscarried our first baby and a few years ago my sister had to terminate her pregnancy at 21 weeks (hugs). just knowing others had been there too really helped us
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I’m so sorry Panda. Not a detail I don’t remember about our loss.
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Oh, Panda. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling, and I’m honored that you have chosen to share your story with us. What I love most about D/s is the connection it creates, and I know that you and your Sir will be able to use your D/s to help you heal from this loss. Hugs to you and your Sir, Panda.
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Panda, so sorry to hear about this. We suffered three of them before we had our first child. Please don’t hesitate to message me if you would like to talk. It takes time to heal as a person from this, so take that time for yourselves. Hoping that all is set right and you have a beautiful baby in your arms soon darling.
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Much love hugs and prayers Panda, I am so sorry you’ve had this happen and wish you all the best in your journey ahead. From experience, I found time and thinking of the happy moments the most healing and Sir of course. x
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Thank you everyone for your comfort and thoughts. My Sir and I appreciate the well wishes.
-Panda -
Panda, my heart aches to hear about this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.. Such a sad experience to go though. Hoping you heal soon!!
xoxo SSB -
Panda,
I’m so, so sorry to hear about your recent loss. There are so, so many women who experience pregnancy loss at one time or another and it’s incredibly painful. It’s been 25 years since we lost a baby and I remember it like it was yesterday.I love that your D/s has been such a blessing to you and your Sir!
Hugs and prayers,
june -
There is hope panda. I was told by multiple doctors for 10 years that i would never have a child of my own. On my birthday 3 yrs ago i found out that i had conceived and now i have a beautiful baby girl that i was told was never possible. I prayed for her relentlessly for 10 years and when the lord felt i was ready for her he gave her to me. Give your worry and fear to god and he will do what is best for you. You are blessed to have such a strong sir that will lift you up when you are down. You are in our prayers.
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Panda, I’m so, so, so sorry! There are many of us who have gone through this. It is heartbreaking!
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I didn’t know Panda, I’m so sorry to hear. PLease if you ever need to talk PM me and I’ll give you my number. I’ve been through this more times than I care to count. We are keeping you and your Sir in our prayers!
with love
Juliet -
Thank you to everyone who left messages. We really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. It has been a bit of a tough few months for us. We are getting ready to start fertility treatments soon so hopefully this new doctor will be able to get us the guidance we have been looking for to achieve our dream of a family.
– Panda -
Panda, Sending you our caring thoughts…
LK
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