What..the hell…

[Unknown Member]

I don’t think it sounds silly. It’s a testament to your connection.
Does it help if he texts you during the day or something to stay in contact?

[ophelia-spoon]

Yes Princess it does help when He messages me…He’s at work though and during dinner rush there is no way He can message me, so I just have to be strong…thank you for not thinking me strange; I had another group of subs once tell me to stop whining, that I was married to my Dom and therefore didn’t know the real pain of sub drop becuase I live with Sir and We’ve been married eight years…it gets confusing sometimes, wife head space and sub head space…

[Unknown Member]

I don’t think anyone here would think you strange. Very subportive place. 🙂

[hersubject]

Dear Ophelia Spoon,

Let me join with Princess in reassuring you. It’s not strange and you shouldn’t feel bad/awkward/whiny/insert negative phrase here. If anything, I would suggest that a married sub is actually at risk of a bigger sub drop (dependent on so many things of course) because of the incredible emotional attachment and love. I would suggest (speaking from the dreaded male logical point of view) that a submissive who does not share the marvelous intimacy that is gained through years of marriage, may not realise that the exact reason why they think it should be easier could actually make it so much harder – during that time of sub drop, it could very well be possible for the drop to be magnified by the perceived absence (as a result of the physical absence of your husband) of your married intimacy.

Small wonder you’re having a bad drop. Don’t look at these feelings in a negative ‘I must be a whiny sub’ but rather as a demonstration of the bond you have with your husDom.

HerSubject

[ophelia-spoon]

Oh golly…y’all are freaking amazing. I’m fighting tears but happy ones. Thank you so much for all your kind words and acceptance.

Sir and I have gone through a lot together and while we’ve always been remarkably close, with our D/s dynamic we’ve grown even closer. I have always had bad separation anxiety, and now it seems to flare in the most peculiar ways. Sir understands and We are going to work on it, do some more research and try to make it not so explosive for me. Thank you all…so much.

[klb]

Dont worry Ophelia.Spoon! Yes you are experiencing sub drop. Think of it this way…… In a vanilla marriage it is so easy to close ourselves off and put our defenses up to protect our pride. When we enter a D/s dynamic, the wall has to come down. The pride has to go away. We are raw! It is like peeling the bandaid off the wound we have put over all the things that hurt our marriage for so long. We are starting over. We are starting anew. We are dating again (in a sense). We are getting to know each other again.
When we first start dating or fall in love, we cant get enough of each other! We crave each other! We need one another! So your feelings are so normal. Just know that. And make sure you contine to communicate to your Sir at all times what you are feeling. Send Him texts during the day to express you miss Him, and cant wait to see Him. Let Him know when you need an extra phone call or text because you are in a deep drop. And if he cant text during the day, there are apps he can set up to automatically send texts at times he specifies to express His love. Kind of like letters written in advance to a loved one… Dont keep it in. Include Him…….
xoxo, KLB

[ophelia-spoon]

Thank you so much. I have read this post to Sir (as well as rereading it several time myself) and have so much gratitude and love for this response and acceptance. Thank you.