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Submissive Advise | Transitioning into a Sub Mindset
Lk has asked me to tell you a story about myself and what I do to transition into a submissive mindset.
When Sir and I first started our D/s –M I thought it was going to be so easy just like what you read about in books. We’ll let’s just say that is so far from the truth ladies, but at this moment I just wanted to give up and go in our bedroom and cry. But my submission was too important to me and I wanted this lifestyle move than breathing…plus I’m not a quitter in anything I do.
It was the last week of July 2013 Sir was working 14 hour days, 6 days a week for the last 2 months. So that left me with the house responsibilities, paying the bills and watching our 3 nieces 3 days a week. Plus some of the time I had to drive them home after watching them all day. It was a Thursday and Sir came home tired and I wasn’t in the mindset I should have been in and crap just got worse. Sir didn’t want to listen and I didn’t want to shut up and just kept talking about how sick I was of dealing with everything and Sir being too tired of doing his part and being the Dom I needed him to be and take care of my needs. We’ll I will just say it did not go the way I thought it would. I ended up with a lecture and a punishment that fit the crime. Lol!
I woke up Friday thinking it would be a better day and all would work out… Wrong again! So when I pulled in our driveway I just stayed there gripping the steering wheel and leaned my head against it as tears filled my eyes. I started thinking why did I ask for this lifestyle, is it worth all this effort on my part to give up the control and just let what bothers me roll off. I started to think about did my Sir deserve my attitude when I came home when he did nothing. Than I thought about the pressures Sir was under everyday…supporting us, working 14 hours a day to build a retirement so we can enjoy our later years. Plus dealing with workers that he is in charge with every day in a high security job. So I needed to change with I do and how I do it.
So I have trained myself into making a task list every evening on what is important that I need to do first and what isn’t important and can wait to be done that following day. That way if I can’t complete everything the ones that were important did get completed.
I take at least 15 minutes at least every morning when you get up to meditate in a room by yourself. Get on your knees, close your eyes and get your breathing relaxed that you hear your own heartbeat. think about your submission, what it means to you, what is beautiful about it, how happier you are being dominated by your Dom, how much your Dom loves you and how much you please him in what you do every day. Think about what true submission is….its about being unselfish and pleasing your Dom in all that you do. Try to do this at least in the morning and the evening (Before your Dom walks through the door from work) and before you call it a night. (Maybe while you are taking a hot bath at the end of the day.)
Downtime for yourself and with your Sir… Honest Open communication about all and everything in a calm manner.
Try putting on one of your Dom’s tee shirts while cleaning the house so you smell his/her scent surrounding you and that your Dom is always with you and it keeps you knowing that he/she is coming home to you.
When you start to feel that vanilla stress turn on some music that relaxes you, sing along with it while cleaning the house, picking up the kids (younger kids will even sing along with you) or on the way home from shopping.
If you work and it’s time to leave and go home, leave work at the door you just walked out of and I know it’s hard to do… but you need to do it. Get in your car, turn it on, and put some relaxing music on, than kick the seat back for 10 minutes, lay back close your eyes and think about your Dom waiting at home. Think about how your Dom make you feel, how he/she touches you, about how much your life has changed for the better since D/s. How much you love serving him/her and how much you love being submissive. When you pull out and drive away… stop and get a ice coffee or whatever type of drink you enjoy for the ride home. Call or text your Dom and ask if he/she may like you to bring one home for them. REMEMBER work is always going to be there and everyday there will always be problems and issues. * Have your Dom take a pic of you on your phone with you on your knees in a submissive position and save it. When you get in your car bring it up and look at it and see who you truly are and need to be mentally once you leave work
Subs remember life is too short to worry about things that you can’t control and that yelling or freaking out is not going to change a thing but give you heart ache and the ones around you. Plus you will feel bad and stupid about it after it’s said and done. I hope these things that I do help you 🙂
Lt♥
(Little Troublemaker) - 10 Replies
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Thank you so much for this perspective!
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Adorkable, Your very welcome and I hope it helps you.
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Thank you for writing this Lt! Supper helpful and perfect timing for me as I’m trying to get myself back into the mindset! Agreed leaving work at work is hard! I will be returning to work in the next week or so and trying to stay submissive…I like the writing the important tasks down and meditation ideas!
thanks again, pp
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Thank you for sharing. I have read this before but came back to it and may have to read it again before this holiday season is over. Remembering what is important is the key to so many aspects of our life, for me it has changed over the year’s as children grow older and work changes so does the priorities of life. Tis the season to remember what started everything in the beginning. Two people who could only see each other, who couldn’t keep there hands off of each other and who were excited at the thought of everyday spent with just each other.
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Batty the keys is to keep it simple but relaxing. Even in your to do list make it enjoyable for you in a submissive way. ♥
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I am new to this site and chanced upon this message. Thank you for your insight I have been struggling about getting into the mindset of my submission. Ideas well received.
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Your welcome and I hope it helps. ♥
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Fantastic advice! I’ve been a Dom for 8 years and fell in love with a Dom. I am now a switch. I’ve always wanted to experience being a submissive but only for someone very special. Sir is the man I had been looking for all these years and I am enjoying the beginnings of our D/s roles. Where I struggle, I need help transitioning into the submissive mindset and letting go of work or personal stuff. This blog post provided me with some great tips, thank you!! Are there other articles or books that provide lessons in the submissive mindset and transitioning into the submissive role?
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Lotus,
Let me see what I can find for you.Smooches,
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Lotus,
This is a good post with a lot of information that is very useful in understanding and utilizing the tools we have to be/stay in mindset.https://submrs.com/submissive-tools/
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