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Submission and Anxiety
Being submissive seems to be the best remedy for my anxiety, which has in he past been debilitating to the point of threatening my career.
Today I decided to text him (He was still asleep when I left for work) telling him which pair of panties I was wearing and if he had any instructions for me today. No response. He had been in no mood to play last night and I needed the sleep anyways, but I was feeling needy, and anxious. He hadn’t responded to the journal entry I had emailed him yesterday.
I tried to fight off my panic as the anxiety started up and my brain started telling me all of the worst things. I called. I texted him. Eventually he responded that he was helping our friend move some stuff – which I had known.
I was still anxious. I am communicating and putting everything out there and it’s a little scary. I had closed myself off for so long. So I am going through my work day, tearing up, wishing I could leave and he texts me a set of instructions for tonight.
I went from feeling like I couldn’t breathe to feeling like I was floating. No pills needed. None of my nervous ticks like snapping rubber bands. Just my anxiety gone. Peace and quiet in my head.
I don’t think either of us want or can handle ttwd 24/7 but I am going to ask him if we can establish just a couple of rules or a simple routine. Explain that it doesn’t even have to be sexual – that when the other day I asked if he had any instructions and he told me to stay hydrated because it was a warm day – that calmed me. It’s that simple.
Sometimes all of this confuses me but whenever he takes the reigns the anxiety falls away.
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3 Replies
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Hi Eithne!
I know exactly what you mean! Your Sir can reduce or take away some or all of your anxiety if you let him of course. It requires a lot of trust which will build over time. Good for both of you as you seem to be doing great so far! Just continue to trust in him and it’ll all be fine. Don’t be afraid to ask sometimes if you need to because he may not always know. -
Thank you for the input! Right now we do an email journal. I discuss a bit of what goes on in my head, kinky fantasies, and send links I find that are helpful.
That is where I expressed a need for more structure, and he responded that he would think on some routines and tasks to help me, but that I would be expected to keep up with them.
My best friend, he is a pet to someone which has helped him to start a dialogue and guide my Sir when it’s not my place to do so. He also does things like keep an up to date list of my measurements in case Sir wishes to purchase an item of clothing for me – he had expressed frustrations with womens sizing in the past. In turn, I am close with his owner and try to give a bit of heads up if he is struggling to communicate something to her.
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YAY for you! I think it’s great you have a close friend who is also in the lifestyle.
Once he knows what you’re thinking, it’ll be easier for him to help you! 🙂
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