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Submission
How do you keep mindful?
How do you show your Dom he is your Top? -
76 Replies
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I have started kneeling for Him when He comes home from work (naked and on my knees in the bedroom before He comes in the door). This would be a lovely ritual for us, but a fluctuating schedule and prying little eyes prevent it from being an every day occurrence. I do this at every possible opportunity though. It always does wonders for my mindset and now I think that it is ever so slowly starting to “feed” Him just as much.
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Great ritual! Do it when you can… And it is feeding his Dom… Congrats! You go girl! Proud of you!
LK ❤
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Thanks, LK! 🙂
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i so wish i could do that… actually meeting Master at the door on my knees with just my collar on is a dream of mine. I’d hear His car drive into the driveway and i’d take my place on my knees next to the door as He enters, awaiting His instructions of what to do next. Unfortunately, our lives and schedules do not allow for that, for right now at least.
How do i keep mindful that He’s my top these days… Well, mostly simple things, by following as He has asked of me, in dress, conduct, rules etc.When we are alone i call Him by what He is… my Master, and i try as much as possible to end sentences or a set of joint sentences with ‘Master’ as He has asked me to do so. For example:
Master asks…. How was your day babe?
my answer was something like,… “It was good Master. Work was so busy today and we started painting and redecorating so all’s a bit of a mess right now, but its looking amazing even we’ve just started Master.”
Sometimes when i am ‘in public’ He will ask me to say who He is to me too. But He has never asked me to do so in a place that it would hurt me, my relationship with my family or my work etc. Like He is at work and i’ve just done the shopping and am putting all through the checkout. i’ve called to ask about something while im doing so. He listed a few things and i said yes i had done them. Then He said great, you’re a good girl… i said thank You… He said thank You, what? Who am I to you… i struggle, just for seconds, eyeing the cashier and then blurt out, ‘my Master’!
If i wish to ask Master a question, i try to always ask for permission to ask the question first. Master rarely says I cant ask, actually i can only think of 2 occasions that He did say no i may not ask… but the asking at start reminds me that He has a right to refuse an answer, even though He always encourages me to ask anything i wish.
When we are not together, i’m at work or out with friends or He is, He reminds me often that He is still in control of my actions even when Hes not physically their. He sometimes simply sends a message, “updates?” and i know i am required to update Him on what is going on around me and what im doing. Sometimes when He is away for work, as well as the update message, i get a message, ‘wearing?” and i must describe clothes and underclothes… and very often after that His next message will be “pic” and i know i must go to bathroom and take a full body pic of what i’m wearing… then one of bra and panties.
i have to say that even though i do try to, it is Master who often sets me in place. In my vanilla life i am required to be strong and make a lot of daily decisions etc sometimes i tend to take this same attitude back with me to Master, and have to be reminded that i may be boss of a lot, but He is THE BOSS of my all. And He can do that with just one word… sometimes with just a look…
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Thank you so much commenting. It helps soo many other subs hearing your experiences. Anything you have to add please do!
Little Kaninchen….
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Since my Sir and I share a phone, we cannot text each other. Instead, when He gets home from work I greet Him and give Him affection and service. Before He goes to work I ask if He requires me wear my collar. He always has kept me in check, and is consistent with His expectations of me. W/we did not have much company, due to the fact that W/we lived in an efficiency and were relatively reclusive, minus a few people. He worked overnight at Wally World, and I stayed up, cleaning, jotting notes on the whiteboard, listening to music on the PS2, and writing little notes and letters of gratitude appreciation, devotion, and love. Not to mention my happiness and willingness to serve Him.
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hmm…daily…i am responsible for getting “daddy” his socks. sleeping naked unless very sick…but even with my recent surgery, still slept naked once i was home from the hospital. (i had a hard time sleeping at the hospital…wearing clothes was just uncomfortable). one routine i kindof started on my own is after sex, i will get up first and get a washcloth and clean up “daddy” before he does anything else. i also have to set up for my bi-weekly maintenance sessions.
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Hello celly d it’s nice to meet you and feel free to jump on out here anytime all of us ladies have fun as well as we learn from each other. So jump in anytime and join us all! 🙂
Lts♥
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I just wanted to introduce myself. “hotlilmess” 🙂 As you may know, the name is highly appropriate. My Sir is also my best friend and husband of nearly 20 years. We have 3 kids, none of which are teens yet. My “outside” life is full of control as i am a charge nurse, and a mother of a type 1 Diabetic who also happens to be the baby boy of the crew. All in all, control is my survival mechanism.
My submission. To me, it is my perfect piece of cake with a nice big glass of wine. i do have trouble being mindful, and often times forget that as hard as it is on me to complete the tasks, and follow the wishes, it is equally as important to remember that Sir also puts His heart and soul into everything He does for me. So in order to be mindful and remember my place with Him we set up a mirror on the floor in our room. With it is a saying, and some plain ropes hanging above it. i kneel at least ten minutes a day and just get lost in my reflection, the woman i strive to be.-
It nice to meet you hotlilmess 🙂 and I’m glad that you came out here to join the rest of us ladies. I been with my Sir for 33 years and we have been married 28 years, we have no children living at home so we do our D/s 24/7 and it is not always perfect and I wouldn’t want it to be. The only way you grow and learn is by making mistakes and I believe all us submissive’s sometimes forget to be mindful. So we get to come out here and leave comments and learn from each other on what we can do to help us in our weak area’s. My Sir and I have only been doing D/s-M for five months and we still have a lot to learn. But with ladies like Lk and others it has helped me tremendously to able to come out here to discuss our lifestyle with people that can understand. So I do hope you jump on out here and join in with all of us….we do have fun as well as learn. Lol!
Lts♥ -
Such a wonderful idea HLM… I see your refection .. you’re a sub a wife and a wonderful mother…
Thank you for coming here and being sub-portive. Means a lot…
If you ever want to come here and write on my blog… say the word… HUGS Girl…
LK
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Hello Hotlilmess!! Welome to Lks warren!! I have been with my husband for 28 years and married 23 years!! we started this journey a few months ago and are learning. We have 3 kids with 2 still at home. You will see so many of us out here on Lks blogs and then some. These ladies are just incredible to learn from and get advice from. Even us newbies have lots to share in one way shape or form. I love your mirror idea…Like you I am not always mindful and need help. Lk mindful mondays are a great way to help with that. So welcome and hope to see you out on the main blog area and in the forum… We all have so much fun together!!
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I totally agree. Every effort is more than worth it. For me, having small children just sparks the creativity (while still being subtle). 🙂
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NSK… Thinking of you!
LK
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Nice to meet you all… I am browsing (aka lurking) the forum. 🙂
xoxo-
Mari…. How are you? Do you have any questions?
LK
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Hi all, I have been browsing the site and reading for a couple of months now, but just decided to join today. I have always wanted to be in a D/s relationship and just had my husband agree to working on it when I told him about LKs and HusDom site. I have been trying to get into a sub mindset in my daily thought life, because I like who I am in my marriage when I have that mindset. The past couple of weeks I have been struggling though, i think because of distractions, but reading everyone’s different rituals, helps me to think of new ways to get re-committed. Thanks for sharing, it is definitely encouraging to read all the great post. 🙂 @–>
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Welcome Roxyamor! Nice to meet you if you have any questions…just ask. Most of us are pretty new ourselves out here but we all sub-port each other along with Lk’s help. We joke,tease each other but most important is that we learn and have someone to share and talk with about our D/S-M journey and that is the best part of all. So I do hope to see you out here again soon…until than Happy D/S and be safe.
Lts♥ -
Welcome Roxyamor!
Glad you came to the forum!
Please browse and get to know the girls. We are all sub-portive.
Anytime stop at the blog and comment.
You ever have any questions please email me at LittleKaninchen@gmail.comHugs!
LK
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Hey girl! How are you? How are you doing? Please check in…
Best Wishes,
LK
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Exactly what Lts said! This is a great place to be. I can only truly speak for myself, but I know others here feel the same: the sub-port offered here is invaluable. I honestly feel like I wouldn’t have even got the ball rolling without all the wonderful girls I have met here 🙂
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Hi LK and all, new member here :). Please note- this DOES have a happy ending, so read through before you judge….I’ve come to submission after quite a few years of resisting it (I am a VERY independent, successful professional) not realizing that what I mistook as a overly controlling and critical husband was really his concern for my own good and safety. I pushed him away, then about 5 years ago, after 20 years of marriage, I gave up, and basically and turned all responsibility for everything to him and shut down, emotionally and physically. I thought that was what he wanted, a doormat. He viewed this behavior as rejection, and decided to explore his Dom side outside our marriage and deny me ANY intimacy (please, we’ve worked through this- it ends well- no judging!). All while this was going on I was having all kinds of fantasies and urges that I was certain were deviant, and that he would certainly reject me if he knew what I wanted. We were basically Dom and sub in the same house, but miles apart, LOL. During the healing process, we became experts at communicating about our sexual and emotional needs, and we had a huge AHA moment. I didn’t even know the words Dom and sub when all this was happening, I hadn’t read 50 Shades, either, yet, there I was pouring out my heart to him, telling him what I found incredibly thrilling, and pointing out what behaviors ( now I know them as mindful submissive behaviors) I had adopted to make him proud of me. Unfortunately, for a few years, due to his outside activities, these went unnoticed :(. Also unfortunately he grew to know his behavior as a Dom only in the context of serially abusive ( but consensual, please-again, no judging…) relationships.
Fast forward a year or so, therapy, amazing communication, growth on both our parts, and true love. He is an amazing HusDom. He is working on and reveling in his role as Dom withing a nurturing loving relationship built on trust. Whew, so much for vomiting my story, but my point is, each of us come to the D/s relationship through different paths, we all have our struggles with initiating and maintaining the power transfer. Mindful submission for me includes service-making sure the house is clean, laundry put away, fresh sheets on the bed, making sure the car is kept clean (he bought me a very, very expensive car…:), making sure I am dressed attractively- hair done, makeup on, etc., always carrying my cell phone, keeping it charged, letting him know where I am. This may seem pretty vanilla, but I railed against this for years, so for me it represents a hugely submissive act. I also make all parts of my body available to him at all times, sleeping naked every night for the past 15 months. The knowledge that this is so meaningful for him pleases me to no end, and in turn, he is very skillful with the psychological/sexual end, luring me into a scene just last night, without me even realizing it until he abruptly brought me to my knees and in an instant, with just one move. The rest of the night was sub heaven. The release calms me and I feel centered for days and I am a very relaxed and “subby” wife.
We live with our 3 teens, and are out with friends frequently, so more outward submission isn’t possible for us now, but maybe in the future!-
ANS… LBP…. Hey girl.. wanted to again say welcome to the warren! All subs here are sub-portive, no judgment’s. Everyone’s dynamics are different but we are all out to be the best subs we can be. Putting your story out there takes guts and I sooo appreciate it! Please keep commenting and getting on blog… Your testifying helps those new lurkers out there a lot!
Hugs!
LK
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Checking in… How are you?
LK
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OK….this is going to sound so weird, but since we are currently living in in an underdeveloped country, I am no where near a spa. I am no longer able to get a professional wax. So I bought a professional waxing set and decided to learn to groom myself! Well, my Sir decided he liked the idea of me being submissive and trusting him to wax me. The first time I was so scared and we decided he would not wax it all because he wanted to have more experience first, but then, one day, he finally decided it was time and he waxed me everywhere! It took every bit of submission I could find within myself to trust him to wax such a delicate part of me! But honestly…..I’m so glad we did it! It is an amazing feeling to know that my body is prepared how he wants it! We are still new to this, but the trust built with that one submissive ritual has been staggering! I love waxing night! When I have fought the urge to kick him from the pain, I am so proud of my submissive side! 😉
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My Sir waxes me and has since the beginning. I think it hurts and it still really hurts after almost two years. I love being “slick” for my Sir. I am looking into Laser.
Thanks for commenting! Keep at it!Hugs!
LK-
Now that I know it still really hurts after two years…..yeah, I’m definitely getting the laser kit! lol I remember the first time I got my legs done it hurt, but eventually I stopped feeling the pain when I got my legs waxed…I thought the same would happen for my Brazilian waxing! That dream just got shattered! Thanks LK!
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Sorry Girl… The area at the top the crown as I put it… hurts… You have to remember I also can’t pluck my own eyebrows… LOL! I go get them done! LOL! Legs… yeah nerves are not near as sensitive… I agree legs are no issue… Keep waxing until you find a good price on lasering.. HUGS JUNGLE LADY!
LK
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Oh Sir’s Lynx! I think your Sir waxing you is awesome! My Sir did my first wax! Its was painfully erotic!♥
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Sir’s Lynx and Cailinfire,
Wow! I have not been waxed down there yet.. Just shaving! I can only imagine the amount of trust it takes to let your husbands do that task. What kind of wax did y’all use and where do you get it?
Another question… Would you reccomend getting waxed by a professional or doing a DIY for your first time? I am pretty sure my Husband might be nervous to wax me…
Thanks!
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Hi Sweet Southern Belle! (BTW…as a girl born and raised in the south drinking sweet tea, I love the name!)
I have been getting waxed for years and so was very used to the pain by the time we moved to this jungle 😉 when we decided to move here, I started asking the professionals at the spa to teach me things like waxing and pedicure…I even asked my hair dresser to teach me to cut and color hair….even in the jungle I’m a true Diva 😉
My friend, the waxing professional told me which wax to use and so I use the professional strip-less Brazilian wax blocks for the bikini area and strip wax for my legs. I have the melting pot as well. I was out about $500.- in total for the kit, wax, strips, lotions and other accessories. I am sure it can be done cheaper, but I went for the best quality I could get my hands on at the time because of the climate here, I didn’t want anything malfunctioning.
As far as the trust???? My Sir wanted all the hair gone, so he was the first one to do it all…..and honestly….I ripped pretty bad the first time. He felt so bad and made sure I put ointment on daily since we live in such a humid country. The second time, it took more trust because I knew how bad we could mess it up 😉 but it went perfectly!
We were discussing getting an at home laser hair removal kit, and I am all for it, but I think Sir likes waxing me 😉 the laser kit is also $500.- so if I get it, I will use it for a few months and then let you know if it really works 😉 that eventually prevents the hair from growing back at all. (So they claim)
Sorry!!!! This reply got a bit too long! But my advice is to go to a professional the first few times and pay attention to her technique!
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Thank you for the advice Sir’s Lynx,
I feel like maybe waxing should maybe be its own topic now? Oh well. Glad to meet yet another southern girl again (love some sweet tea). I can shotgun a beer in my cutoffs and bikini top on the pontoon and then dress up like a classy lady with a sweet little black dress and heels. Such is the life of a southern girl 😉Yikes, it sounded like you had quite the experience with your Husband waxing you for the first time, but how sweet of Him to tend to you. I feel that my Husband would do the exact same thing in that circumstance.
Anyways, I know I’m definitely not ready to invest in a home waxing kit, but I have been doing some research on it and I feel like it would be a great way to display my mindfulness to my Husband. I do have a birthday coming up in a couple of months so the birthday sex/kink would be a win-win for the both of us. He hasn’t demanded that I do it but I know he would be very pleased and that makes me feel good to know that I have pleased him (especially in such a surprising way).
I really do appreciate the advice and your post wasn’t too long. I am still pretty young (29) and I know there is a ton of information that I don’t even know. I take a lot from all the ladies on this site! And reading some of everyone’s stories gives me hope that I will have a very long lasting marriage… In a way, it is comforting to know that there are other women who are so different but so similar in their journey into the D/s-M thing.
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SL I was wondering where you can find the at home laser kit? What is the best brand that I should look for?
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Sally’s beauty Supply
Bought a wax pot and Brazilian hard wax. It was around $100LK
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I miss shopping in the USA!!! Everything is cheaper! I got mine in New Zealand, and it was just imported from USA and they add their mark up! But I did forget to add that I bought a years supply. But I’m still jealous LK!
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How is your waxing going?
LK
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Cailinfire,
Do you use that painfully erotic time to learn to process the pain? 😉 I talk tough, but I sure could use a tip or two for processing the pain for waxing that area! LOL I did almost kick him a few nights back when he did it, and I’m worried that if he gets tired of dodging my legs, he might chain me up! (Actually, that might be nice!) haha
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Processing pain is soo different for each person. My Sir uses the wand on me a little if I am having a hard time during. So using pleasure is maybe a better way to balance or process that pain.
LK
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Thanks Cailinfire; I had to re-register with a new name, WP didn’t process the Anewsubbie account request, so I’m LBP here now. My husDom is Mr. Wolf.
Sir’s Lynx and Calinfire no experience waxing there, I shave every day, but I would think that if you could incorporate into D/s play and have your Dom build the anticipation you might be in enough subspace to float you through. I know I get to a space where I am kind of separate from my body, it is delicious, and Mr. Wolf knows he can do anything or request anything at that point and I will experience it as pleasure. Hope this helps:)
Here is a poem I sent to Mr. Wolf after this morning’s session…it sums up our history in an amusing rhyme, he was pleased, I got an arched eyebrow.
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Now little Bo Peep wasn’t watching her sheep
And a wolf came along and took one
But to the sheep’s surprise when he uncovered his eyes, he was really a wolf in disguise!
The wolf returned to Bo Peep, said please can I keep
this new persona I’ve grown to quite like
Bo Peep was aghast and raised up her staff, but one look from the wolf made her drop on her knees and exclaim “Sir, yes please”.-
Love your poem…
LK
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I loved your poem too! 🙂
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LK- good for your Sir, it does sound like he is taking care of you! We don’t have a wand (yet) but a very powerful continuously variable speed egg on a wire, and by the time Mr. Wolf gets around to using it, I could probably have a root canal done and not realize it. Interesting, normally I am a pain avoider, I don’t get a rush from any pain, I could not inflict pain on myself and find it enjoyable, but under Mr. Wolf’s ministrations, it is sooooo pleasurable. It think it speaks to the trust I have in him, and his Dom skills. Thoughts?
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Normally, I do not like pain myself…. Unless, it’s during play… and my body is prepared and readied, Lotioned or oiled then he rubs and touches and pinches certain areas to get my endorphins started. Touches me all over & soft taps turn into full spanks and I don’t even know it.. He checks in and my number 1-10 is barely on the chart…
LK
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Umm, I’m “Little Succubus”, and my Master I are in our 20’s and after years of being best friends we discovered not only our feelings for each other but our mutual interest in D/s. We are living in separate houses (Australian rental markets are evil) but we’ve been finding ways to integrate D/s into our every day life. He’s taken to texting me instructions for the day such as how to wear my hair/clothes/jewellery/etc, we have set punishments for when I misbehave, safe words, and we’ve just implemented our first formal ritual. 🙂 I try to keep mindful by either asking him if he has any preference for what I should be dressing in, referring to him as Master when on formal dates, and, more consistently, kneeling at his feet when I first meet him for the day.
While we have no trouble getting into Dom/sub mode when we’re alone or on a date, we are still getting the hang of it in the other areas of our lives – mainly because I keep defaulting to my eldest-sibling “control freak” mode when stressed. :/ We’re getting better though, mainly because he’s been integrating his “Dom” into “regular” life and consequentially reminding me that I am his submissive and getting me to calm the frak down. We’re not there yet, but we’re getting closer. ^_^ We’re yet to have a proper “scene” though because he has not had time to organize it. 🙁
Master and I are both doing independent research into improving our D/s relationship and I came across this site twice actually (the first time back in the beginning of the year, when it was the Bedroom Submissive but my laptop crashed and I lost all my stuff) and I’ve been lurking it and HusDom for about 2 months, so I decided to join. 🙂
And I have no experience in waxing except to say that I shaved once and it didn’t really work for me but thankfully for me my Master likes me to trim as he likes “carpet to match the drapes”. 😛 >_<
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Welcome!
As of right now (and discussion between us) my Sir prefers trimmed. I react so terribly to shaving. We have not tried waxing, but should He change His mind I will always be willing to try if it ever came up. 🙂 -
Wanted to welcome you here to LS! D/s is something both parties have to work at and feed each other… The CIRCLE we keep talking about. Feed him with that respect and he will feed your hunger. Make sure you are fed mind, body and heart! Please keep commenting and get on blog! Everyone is sub-portive to all subs married or not… Hugs.. You’re very courageous coming out and it helps others that are lurking out there come forward as well. You will find friends here!
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Thank you LK. 🙂 We’re both trying to get that CIRCLE going but, while I really want this, it is occasionally hard for me. But I’m slowly getting there – would like to pick up the pace though and make my Master proud. 😛 And for me too.
And I’ve noticed – everyone seems so friendly so far. 🙂
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Everyone IS SOOOO sUB-PORTIVE!
Ask anyone anything… They are all here to help newbies…LK
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Welcome Little Succubus! Like Lk has stated we are all here to sub-port one another through the good times and through those days that we struggle with our submission. All us subs joke, laugh and get serious when needed to help one of our own. It’s a warren of submissive’s that will share their own stories as well as give helpful advice. Each Dom/sub has their own dynamics but the D/s fundamentals and structure of their foundations are built by the same guidelines with Patience, time, honest communication and trust between Dom and sub. So please feel free to ask any of us any question you may have even if you think it sounds stupid to ask. 🙂 We will all give our best to answer any questions that you may have. With that said please join all us bunnies out here and learn and have fun with us all. 🙂
Roadrunner♥
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Welcome Little Succubus! This is an amazing community of subs LK has founded here! Glad you joined!
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