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Service & Submission
So lately I’ve seen more than a few ladies coming into chat and asking what types of things they can do to show their submission.
As a result, I have been thinking about service vs (or as?) submission for a couple of days, and thought it might make a good conversation here to get more ideas and viewpoints. Sorry if this is a half baked stream of thought – I don’t necessarily have this all worked out in my head.
To me, while service can be a component of submission, they seem like two different things. I would do things like laundry, cleaning, cooking for others – but I will only submit to my husband. So does it come down to intention? Do we become more service oriented as we work towards discovering all that submission means to us in our relationships?
I know that personally, a great majority of the way that I am showing my submission right now is through acts of service. Keeping our house clean and welcoming, having food shopped for (and when timing allows, prepared); laundry. I used to do those things, but now I am making it a regular habit to keep them done regularly so as to create a more relaxing home environment for my husband. I wonder though, as I continue to work to feed the D/s part of our relationship, if I need to find more ways to show submission outside of these fairly regular actions that I am taking. Perhaps that is where developing more rules and protocols comes into play?
I don’t know that this needs an answer, or has an answer – but I am curious what some of the rest of you think.
- 2 Replies
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Service vs. submission is such an interesting topic because it is truly different for each Dom (and sub). I know that there are some very general ideas about how to submit but they aren’t universal. Some men are extremely adamant about being served food. They want a meal hot and ready for them when they arrive home. My dom does not have this preference. When he is home, he likes to do the cooking. He also thoroughly enjoys serving me first.
The biggest issue here is that a sub doesn’t just inherently know which acts of service feel like submission until they are explicitly told. So I personally feel like a sub should ask for more rules or protocol to guide them. -
This is an interesting topic for me. My Sir definitely wants me to serve him. In fact, he expects that of our daughters too.. one his and one mine.. at 17.. and new to this blended family.. I find it unfair that he expects them to serve him and he does little around the house. He has a fairly substantial back injury and a lot of pain, and I have willingly chosen to serve him and to handle the vast majority of our home maintenance.. I like doing this for him and it sits well with me. However, his daughter also has a dominant personality and would never willingly choose to have such an unbalanced workload, and my daughter of course also does not choose to be his sub/servant… I find this hard to communicate and find myself working extra hard to cover for their natural teenage laziness..
He is also unable to work full time and as such I work outside of the home and find it difficult at times to achieve all that I need to. It would be very easy to serve him as I want to, if there was enough money to allow me to spend my days in the home. This is possibly the most challenging part of our relationship..
In some ways, he is almost lazy, and when I am struggling, I get angry and feel that it is unfair.. and yet, when I serve him I find my peace.. I am happiest and most content and calm when I am able to do this and do it well.. it pleases him and I love that..
My goal for this second year together is to simplfy our spending to a point where I do not worry about money. I work part time in one job and casually in another that I do from home.. so that is easy to fit in.
Fitting a satisfying D/s into a 24/7 with the realities of bills and teenagers is challenging but this is the most amazing wonderful enthralling relationship and I love him to the core of my soul and feel safe and secure and at peace when I am snuggled in his lap.. so I will find a way to make this work..
once again.. thank goodness that I found this site.
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