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Ritual Importance
This morning I was thinking about rituals and protocols quite a bit. Sir has been gone for a week on a fishing trip up in Canada where there was very limited contact between us. Not being able to see or talk to my Sir for so long really took its toll on me and mentally put me in a really dark place. I’m doing good now thanks to the help of LK and everyone else here on submrs. As I was shaving 7 days worth of fur off my legs (I let some of my normal daily grooming slip without Sir around) I got to thinking about all of the little nightly rituals Sir and I have together that I would have to remember when he gets home. Little things like meeting him at the door with a cold drink and waiting for permission before taking off my clothes to get into bed (and not wearing pajamas!) hadn’t been observed while he was gone. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I haven’t felt like myself. I am a person who thrives on schedules and routines. When much of my routine revolves around Sir and he’s not here, that can be difficult to say the least.
Then the light bulb came on.
Why do rituals make D/s-M so special?
In college I was a member of a sorority. It was so fun to belong to a sisterhood of girls with similar interests. But why are sororities and fraternities so much different than any other clubs on a college campus? Don’t you get the same sense of belonging from playing an intramural sport or joining the debate team or the drama club? Nope. What sets the Greek letter organizations apart from every other group on campus are the rituals. The secrets. The little black books filled with instructions for performing ritual initiations and the pacts that are sealed between members not to tell anyone those secrets. They can be simple, even silly rituals, but the fact that they are secret is what bonds the group tighter.
They can be simple, even silly rituals, bt the fact that they are secret is what bonds the group tighter than any other club on campus. It’s the difference between fellow group members and sisters for life. I really think that the rituals in a D/s-M relationship are the same way. Little secrets like having to wait for Sir to give the command to strip naked and get into the bed every night is what bonds the marriage even tighter. It’s the difference between your average ordinary couple and a deeply committed Dom and sub. -
3 Replies
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Yoza, fixed it for ya…
I have to say this is a great light-bulb moment. The Secret between you both… So much pleasure comes from that. Bravo Yoza!
Here is something related to your words.. Enjoy !! LK
https://submrs.com/the-secret-bdsm-ds/
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That was just awesome Yoz!
I am so glad you are feeling “back to normal” now. It’s amazing the insight you came to and shared here with us!Smooches,
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Update:
Rituals have been changing for us since I started a new job. It was really hard to adjust for the first couple of weeks then the light bulb came on: a change in our vanilla lives didn’t have to mean that rituals have to die. It simply is an opportunity to work together on creating new ones. True, I would have to give up daily sexting and I was going to have to figure out how to take care of the house, but after a few weeks I am happy to report that we have settled into a new groove and I am glad now that we were forced to shake it up a bit. I’m not going to complain one bit that the kids are now being made to pick up after themselves and help with the house work. I am learning that keeping house can easily mean that I am delegating tasks to the kids. The teenagers especially can learn to help out around here. One new ritual we came up with that I really enjoy is every morning when Sir and I are getting ready for work, he takes a non-toxic permanent marker and signs his name somewhere on my body that won’t be seen under clothes. I know that it’s there and it sets the tone for the whole day. Even though I am running a classroom all day and must take on the role of the person in charge, it still helps me to stay submissive to Sir and makes the transition from work to home go much smoother. Try it out and let me know what you think!
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