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Questions
Hello. I am nicknamed Cosita. My Sir and I are totally new to this lifestyle. We have a ton of questions. For starters, after discussing and requesting that we do this, we did research. almost everything i could find on contracts was heavily rule laden and seemed rather impersonal. what are the steps that should be taken once this lifestyle is agreed upon? what are the different challenges of “going by the book” (speaking of which, is there??) and “winging it”? what are the guidelines of D/s expectations? i have so many questions am i’m not entirely sure where to start lol what is sub training? do all subs need training? how to implement downtime when we do not live together? how can i fully submit when i have my daughter and she is my full responsibility as a single parent? how do we know if we are doing things right? what is a scene? what’s the difference between a scene and play? as i said i have so many questions that i don’t know where to start… can anyone give me a clue as to where to begin what i sense could be the most fullfilling relationship of my entire life with the one man, my Papi, whom I love and adore and wish to please in all aspects of our life together, the one man who is my world above all besides my daughter? where can i start so i don’t feel so overwhelmed by this huge change that i asked for?
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5 Replies
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Welcome Cosita 🙂 Relax there is no one right way. You will find what works for you. You make it fit you. There are many books but they are for ideas not a definitive guide. Gather information and talk and you will build something that suits you both.
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Cosita, I advise everyone who comes to my site to start in blog with the oldest archived posts and work your way forward to current time. You will start basically where I did and will be able to connect better with posts. There is a way that you can start things in D/s-M, build the foundations.
Purge, Clean the slate and do a formal acceptance… This will get you off to a great start.You can Private message me anytime with questions… Happy to answer them. Keep reading! Please have your Sir sign up on http://www.husDOM.com, my Sir’s site that is for DOMs only… Nice to meet you! LK -
Cosita,
First…WELCOME!
Second…we have all been there! It can be overwhelming, but only if you let it be. Take it one step at a time and won’t be so crazy feeling, lol! When I found this site, it was like a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of other things I found online. What LK and Mr. Fox have done here is to show us exactly how to work this INTO your already existing marriage/relationship, and many of us have kids as well. Go slow, read the blog posts and take LK’s advise (because it really does work!). We are all here to subport and learn from each other, so don’t be afraid to ask questions (we are all usually in the Warren Chat room).
I look forward to chatting with you!
Smooches,
Veruca -
Hi Cosita, it was great talking to you in chat. I hope the blog links I gave you have given you a place to start. As LK and Veruca said you can go through the blog, it will take a while but there’s lots of fun stuff as well as informative reading. Discuss the info that you find with your Papi. There is no one-size-fits-all, the two of you only need to do what fits your relationship. We are all happy to answer any questions and share what we know.
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Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice and information. I have learned so much already. And I look forward to learning much more as Papi and I continue to grow and communicate.
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