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Mid week struggle
So this is my first post on the forums so forgive me if I go on a bit. Me and my Dom have been D/s 24/7 for around 3 months now properly. We normally have 1 day per week when I wear my collar all day and we play a lot which is great. The issue im having atm is that as the week goes on I sometimes find myself not in a sub mindset ( work doesn’t help as im always in charge ) and doing naughty things like speaking out of turn or not obeying straight away. This then upsets me and makes me feel guilty because I want to be a good submissive and please my sir but letting go of the control is mind boggling. I also think its because were relatively new at this and theres bound to be teething problems. But sometimes I also think its because my Sirs not being dominant enough with me and to be fair hes just getting used to it too but I want him to take charge more and I get frustrated when he doesn’t :s Id love to know anyone elses thoughts or experiences on this and suggestions are welcomed 🙂
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4 Replies
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I’d like to follow this because I’m in the same boat. I could have written this post.
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Hi Cleo (and Pet),
What you’re describing is incredibly common – I think everyone on the site can say they’ve experienced similar things.
Yes, your Dom could work at supporting you submission during these periods – and hopefully is correcting your behaviour when you act out.
However, as the submissive, it’s up to you to work on developing and maintaining a submissive mindset. Your Dom can only do so much. What works very well for me personally when I’m not feeling particularly submissive is mentally stopping, reminding myself that I chose this lifestyle, reminding myself why I chose it and remembering that I’m lucky to have found someone to share it with me.
Meditation on your submission can be very useful. I’d recommend that you read LK’s blog post on kneeling and some of the kneeling forum. I think that these may assist in keeping that mindset through the ‘mid week slump’
My thoughts… Take what you want, leave the rest 🙂
HerSubject
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I think HerSubject makes such great points!
I have also found that it helps for us to have a morning ritual to remind Us/me of our roles. I also find it helps a lot for me to ask Sir if there is anything specific I can do for him that day. Sometimes he requires a task, sometimes it is sexual in nature. I also email him during the day to tell him what I appreciate about him (specifically) and what I’m praying for him for (we’re Christian).
We have a ritual at night, too, before bedtime.
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Master and i also struggle with keeping the mindset and W/we also have rituals each morning and throughout the day to help with this.
W/we found rituals to be especially helpful straight away because asking Master to ensure he was disciplining me for each infraction was becoming exhausting for both of us. Unfortunately I think if you are not in the right mindset already, discipline can only go so far anyway!Each morning I get up first and make Him a coffee which He shares and we discuss the day ahead.
I shower as soon as I get out of bed and I have written out a mantra to say to myself while I am in there. (I find the use of the shower the BEST way to get into the mindset, but i cannot meditate 🙂 )
This is done straight after work as well.I also earn/lose priviledges alot. By this, I mean I lose the priviledge of doing things **without having to ask permission** .. this helps me to remember my submission ALOT because if I get too cheeky, I have to start asking permission each day for t.v. etc even clothes and earn back my priviledges with good behaviour.
Hope this is helpful for you! 🙂
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