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Medical D/s M
I have been wanting to share an example of how the rubber met the road in our dynamic recently. Real life D/s M showed up when I needed it most… outside of playtime, outside of the usual parameters. This example is very vanilla, and probably one of the most meaningful “scenes” I have had with my Sir to date.
A few weeks ago I had to have an MRI. I didn’t expect it, but I absolutely freaked out when thy put me in the machine. I didn’t want to go.. I was a little anxious, but Sir encouraged me to get it done. He was planning to go in with me, but the technician wouldn’t allow it, so he went to pick our daughter up from school and would be back in about an hour. When it came my turn to go in the machine… I had a full blown panic attack.. sobbing… hyperventilating.. made them pull me out of the machine less than a minute after going in. I didn’t know I would have such a claustrophobic reaction, and it was terrifying.
The very disappointed technician escorted me back to the waiting area and rudely condemned me for my reaction..and told me that if I didn’t get back in the MRI, I would be wasting the pain of all of the dye injections they had put in my shoulder that morning, and I would have to go through it all over again another day. It didn’t matter what he said. I was hysterical at that point and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to survive getting back in that machine. So… what is my first thought as I am coming unglued outside of the MRI room? I called Sir. Around my sobbing,he finally pieces together that I am saying “I can’t do it. I’m sorry.. I can’t do it.”
He told me to stay exactly where I am. He turned the car around and was on his way back to me. He called a friend to pick up our daughter and returned to the hospital. I sat and waited… trying with every ounce of my being to hold it together and just breathe. When Sir walked in… I started sobbing all over again. I knew he wanted me to have this MRI, and I wanted to please him, and I wanted an ensure I the pain that is stopping g me from enjoying many aspects of my life, but I just couldn’t get my head to cooperate.
He strode into the waiting room and cane straight to me. He took my face in hands, put his face right up to mine so I had to look him in the eye and began to speak to me in his most Dominant and authoritative tone. I do t recall the exact words, but they were along the lines of, “ You are my submissive. I am here with you. You can and WILL do this. We will do this together every step of the way. Breathe through it for me”, etc. He informed the technician that he would sign whatever he needed to sign, but he WiLL be in that room with me. He took control and gave me his strength when I had nine left if my own.
He asked the technician to put use the larger machine. He stayed by my side, reassured me through each step, and used his Dominance to work me through one of the hardest things I had to do… get past my panic and get back in that machine. He covered my eyes with a make-shift towel blindfold so I wouldn’t see the walls of the MRI machine so close to my face. He ignored the presence of the tech and talked to me just as though we were about to scene. He asked me to trust him, to obey him, and to allow him to carry me through this. He kept his hand on my leg the entire time and talked me through the procedure. It wasn’t easy. I would like to say his presence removed all fear and I just relaxed, but that would be a lie. I was on the edge of panic the entire time, but I was able to hold On and get through it because my Sir SAID I could and was there to make sure I succeeded.
When I got done… I was wrung out. I was exhausted and drenched in sweat.. shaking and lightheaded. I felt like I had just gone through a 5 hour scene. Almost a little subspacey?
I know with absolute certainty that if Sir and I did not have a trusting D/s M relationship to draw in at that moment, I would never have made through that procedure. Real life D/s M for the win!
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1 Reply
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Angelica, that was a very difficult experience for you. My heart goes out to you. I too have issues with small enclosed areas. The last MRI i had i took a mild sedative and my Syr sat next to me talking to me and just petting my hair. You have a great husDOM and im proud of you getting back into the machine.
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