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Keeping the D/s alive during pregnancy
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Thank you so much for your input Arwen! The more perspective we can get here, the better. Every pregnancy different and every relationship is different. Things will be done differently by everyone I’m sure. Just hearing what everyone does during the time of pregnancy is wonderful! We haven’t had to make too many changes yet, maybe a few minor things here and there due to my being sick last week and my awful morning sickness (which lasts from when I wake up until evening time).
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10 weeks now. I had my appointment today. I scheduled it so that Sir would have it off work and he would be able to come with me. It was wonderful and such a happy moment to see the little pumpkin sprout dancing for us on that screen. And see that beautiful heartbeat. It feels like a load has been lifted.
D/s is still going strong. My day collar helps a lot to keep my mindset during the day. Even when I don’t feel so well, it works as a great reminder for me. I still do my nighttime rituals and now have added the collar to the morning and nighttime rituals. Now that we have had the first appointment, I feel better too, so some of the safe kinkier stuff will probably come back into our bedroom now too 😉 -
NsKay and Arwen, thank you so much for continuing to update us on your D/s journey while pregnant. I hope you are both feeling well! Arwen, you are getting so close!!
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Arwen and Nskay, I love reading your pregnancy updates. I really like that there are other subbies on here that are pregnant with me. I’m curious what are you both doing for exercise? Did you have to back off any from your old routines or take a break all together? I was doing crossfit before and have continued it through this pregnancy. There are many things that I’ve modified and I don’t use as much weight. But overall, I’ve felt fantastic continuing to work out. I’m 25 weeks this week and this little baby is growing and growing!!
~SSB
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Thought I would update…I am in week 36 and eagerly awaiting L&D. SSB, I did back off from my exercise completely initially because of my history (multiple mcs, pre-eclampsia etc.) However, I got back into it second trimester with some yoga and walking, which I have continued into this trimester. If you feel good working out and your doc has given you the thumbs up, keep at it!!! 🙂
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Wow 36 weeks lady!! So close! I can understand the backing off completely at first, you need to take care of yourself and that baby. Are you nervous at all?
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Hello all. It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to get on here at all lately.
Arwen – That’s so exciting! You’re getting so close now! 🙂 Before you know it, little one will be here!SSB – I didn’t have much of an exercise routine before getting pregnant. At least not in the winter. In the summer I do a lot of rollerblading. Obviously, that won’t be a thing this summer so I will do a lot of walking. Morning sickness hit me pretty hard in the first trimester this pregnancy (with my previous 2 lasting pregnancies with each of my girls it didn’t start until week 12 or so). It’s finally looking like it’s starting to subside a little bit, but my exhaustion is enormous right now. Once the weather is consistently nice and school is out for my 6 year old we will get out walking and going to the park and things like that.
So my own update. I am 15 weeks today. The nausea still comes and goes, but it’s starting to feel like it might be going away. Which also brings in the nervous feeling (“Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?”). I have my 16 week appointment next Tuesday so I’m excited for that (just wanna hear the heartbeat!!!).
As far as the D/s goes. It’s been going pretty well. I’ve slipped more often than I normally would, but now that my hormones are settling down a bit for a few months (until the 3rd trimester hormones pick up…lol) that should get better. We still do our nightly ritual. We did back off on the rougher play stuff, though we did do a little bit of impact play last week. It was amazing and much needed, but we talked about it afterwards and decided that it’s not something that we will be able to do super often during the pregnancy, especially as I get bigger. Other than that, he has started to do more of the things around the house that I usually do. Which makes me feel bad, but at the same time I am so exhausted that I just can’t do as much as I did. Admitting that is incredibly difficult for me, but I did and had to let go of a little. -
Well, the baby is here. While pregnancy was definitely a change in our relationship, post-partum is a big change too. To be honest, I didn’t think of D/s until today, about 15 days post-partum. The D/s part of our relationship seems like it was another world far far away. I wonder if we will ever go back there or how I will feel submitting again. As of now, I feel empowered, happy and a little tired. I will keep you guys updated.
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I’ve recently been thinking about the post partum coming up. Honestly, it scares me a little. I’ve kept it on the back burner for awhile now. Sir and I talked about it last week. It made me feel better to know that he had the same thoughts about it as I did. It’s comforting to know that we are walking hand in hand together.
Arwen, I am sure you will get your D/s back. I think if you both want it bad enough, you will find a way to make it work. Babies are literally a 24/7 job… Overall, it seems you are feeling good and I’m happy for you! Please keep us updated.
xoxo
SSB
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It has been a very long time since I have updated this post, I apologize for that. Between my other two kids and the intense pregnancy fatigue that I was dealing with, I didn’t have a lot of time to come on post.
My baby boy was born by induction on October 3. He was 5lb 13oz and 19.5 inches long. I was induced due to low fluid (which was the reason for my induction of my previous two pregnancies) but he was also not growing at the rate my doctor wanted to see. The overall experience was super intense and my hardest labor so far, however, it was also my shortest (only a few hours and less than a minute pushing).
Overall, throughout the pregnancy we continued to do what we had been doing as far as our D/s goes. Not a whole lot changed in that regard (post partum is a very different picture, but this post is about pregnancy. We just went with the flow. He took into consideration all that was going on in my body and we took things one day at a time. He gave me a little more leniency during that time as well. We could continue for the most part with everything that we had been doing (minus the hard play, we wanted to stay on the safe side so we didn’t do any hard play in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters). If you’re reading this because your pregnant and wondering how to keep it all up during pregnancy my best advice is to take it one day at a time. Listen really hard to your body and always play it safe. And communication is ALWAYS important, pregnant or not, but during this time it’s even more important that you discuss everything and make sure you are on the same page. It’s a crazy time with many changes (whether you are on #1 or #6). Remember to cut yourself some slack, pregnancy is difficult and maintaining D/s during it is also difficult but very doable. Don’t give up! -
IMPACT- you can still do impact play but sometimes your body is much more sensitive so your pain tolerance may be lower than usual. You don’t hit near the belly for obvious reasons especially during the third trimester. Sometimes when flogging the strands can wrap and hit the sides of your belly so we didn’t do much flogging. Caning the bottom of your feet doesn’t feel good with swollen ankles lol and over the knee spankings will become a no eventually.
BONDAGE- there is actually pregnancy bondage! Which you can look up online and they are pretty I think but also avoid pressure on your stomach. We did some of them and Master took pictures. Extreme or immobilizing bondage is a no especially if you’re going to be on your back as pregnant women are more likely to get blood clots. When you do normal bondage you can tie it ummm let your Sir tie it a bit more loose than usual. Suspension can be done but not full inversion or facing upwards, I think unless your Sir is a professional rigger then you shouldn’t do it. Bondage should not restrict the chest area or breathing either. Tying (swollen) ankles should be done very loosely or maybe not at all. Also bondage in early pregnancy may not be a good idea if you need to go vomit and come back. Vomiting on the bed instantly kills the mood lol
BOOBS- as soon as your milk starts coming you can’t use clamps anymore and even longer if you end up breastfeeding. Nipples usually get sensitive so you can’t do all the things you used to do or what you do do has to be toned down a bit or you can just leave them alone sometimes if it’s too sensitive.
PUSSY- since there’s increased blood flow to that region, you will cum more easily which is great for forced orgasms or edging. Some people get really sensitive though so it depends.
BREATH PLAY- No sort of breath play should be done during pregnancy as it has potential risk to you and your baby. Make sure your collar is not too tight around your neck. And no gags especially if you still have nausea as you may end up vomiting and choking on it.
FIRE/ELECTRICAL PLAY- Electrical play shouldn’t be done on your face or chest, pelvic or abdominal area as amniotic fluid conducts electricity. Fire play can be done as normal but with more caution than usual.
HUMILIATION- You have to be in a good place because your Sir criticizing your body might not be as hot as used to be before. Pregnant women can be really emotional sometimes so him calling you a sexy slut can end playtime instantly with tears. Communication is important and you may not want to be called any of those things for the entire pregnancy. I was so paranoid Master was going to call me a cow when I started getting milk and I was gonna have a breakdown lol
KNEELING- Kneeling for long especially when you sit back on your legs can be uncomfortable. I didn’t stay in positions for very long and either we did a lot of positions changing them quickly or only a few and ended it.
WAX PLAY- wax play is completely safe.
DIZZINESS- sometimes you can get dizzy or light headed during play so we had to stop often and let me lay on my left side until it passed.
POSITIONS- being on your back is a no, on your belly is a no unless you want to spin like a top lol on your right side is also a no so spooning, cuddling, lying down, sex lying your sides has to be done on your left side. Being on top is also a lot more work than usual.
BRUISES- pregnant women tend to bruise more and more easily. Which might look off to the doctor so you can tone down impact closer to appointments or explain that you’re into kinky sex. Aftercare and taking care of the bruises are much more important now.
FISTING- we did fisting when I was pregnant, probably not the type of vaginal stretching your doctor wanted you to do. You should ask your doctor before doing it just to be safe.
We kept our rituals etc in place which helped a lot and lots and lots of talking about everything. He had to be understanding that I couldn’t do as much because I was tired a lot more and playtimes got shorter. Writing and researching assignments worked well for when I was on bedrest. Also, it’s a new body so your Sir will have to get used to it all over again which can be great!
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