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It's Up To Me
Every weekday morning he leaves a post it on the bathroom mirror. It is usually a few exercises to do. Some days he gives me a break or a reward. There are days I grumble but I do them. They are very simple but they do serve a purpose.
Last night I was upset. This morning I woke up still hurt and decided I wasn’t going to do his stupid exercises. I looked at the note and tossed it aside. He has not asked me if I have completed the exercises in over a month so who cares. However I knew I would not be able to get through the evening without telling him I didn’t carry them out. I knew he would be hurt and most likely would retreat. I had no anticipation of getting punished. That is not what I was trying for. I turned the shower on and my heart ached. I started to tear up at the thought of hurting him when he tries so hard. I slammed the shower off and I did the damn exercises while crying. I want more than anything not to hurt him. I love his dominance and I don’t get that without submitting.
Ultimately the choice is Mine. I own my submission.
I’ve heard that quite a few times somewhere 😉Yes we will talk tonight about the original hurt.
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11 Replies
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You are so right Princess. I think we all get times when we start to slip and question but looking to your own submission so often brings the answers. Thanks for sharing ????
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I love his dominance and I don’t get that without submitting.
Ultimately the choice is Mine. I own my submission.
Princess – I think your insight is beautiful.My husband and I do planning meeting nearly every morning to plan my day. I’m a consumate procrastinator and struggle with motivation to do chores. I’ve been doing the kneeling challenge for the last two days and yesterday I believe because of kneeling even though I wanted to waste time on my iPad even more I wanted to please him. He and his team were scrambling to meet a deadline and we didn’t have time to plan but I went to our whiteboard and planned out my day just as if he were there guiding me. By submitting to him, to what I knew I should be doing, I was able to feel his dominance which always give me a feeling of happiness and peace.
Thank you for this post.
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The Mine and owning it is from something LT always posts. It has inspired me to research that further.
I’m sure he was pleased that you carried it out when he was unavailable. It shows an appreciation for the things he has put in place. Which is why I had to do what he requested. I cannot negate all of the effort he puts forth.
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I’m sure if your Dom knew of your struggle, and the way you prevailed in submission even while in pain, he would be very pleased with and proud of you. I don’t know if I could do as well. I am very impressed with the submissive strength of the ladies here.
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I’m proud that you are now understanding what it takes and that your submission is the key and the power in how your Dom reacts to your actions and how much balance it brings in building confidence. So I am going to leave you my motto and what drives me in believing in myself everyday. So kneel down on your knees in front of a mirror and recite this to yourself everyday lady.
MINE
I own it. This beautiful thing, this slavery, this submission… I can permit someone else to taste it. Can give myself, body mind and spirit to another. And I can also know that I bring this energy to the table. When I own my submission, when I take responsibility for living in my authentic self, I become more fully…me.
And that is a miracle. And that is a blessing. And that IS a gift. And when I give this gift to my Sir he will respect this gift and that’s when we become as ONE. -
Thank you LT that means a lot.
The last time you posted it I think it finally clicked. I have spent time exploring the source of that passage and I particularly like the addition you have made to it. -
Thank you so much for sharing,It was a very, very much needed read this morning.
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Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m just fully discovering the Power my submissive holds. It is the Key, to everything for this D/s I’m striving for. Fully given, I will be filled of everything I could possibly need,want Desire. You give me strength P. ❤️Curveysub
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I needed this thread. We are currently vacationing with children (not really a vacation) and it has come with some unforeseen stresses. Those stresses led me to a vanilla place yesterday. We got in a bit of a vanilla discussion / argument. Sir told me something similar to this last night. I think I am struggling to really own it. When he asked me what I wanted, what makes me happy, what I feel makes me a better person last night my response was that I wanted this D/s mainly because I want to make him happy. Serving him does make me happy, however, he was quick to point out that the effect of my submission goes much deeper and further than just making him happy. It has changed me as a wife/sub, mother, and person in general. It has allowed me to let go of resentment and anger that I had held on to for years. It was something that was a gift to him but also a gift to myself and I needed to recognize that. It made me just as happy as it made him. This morning, as I am continuing to deal with a cranky/sick kid on vacation and all the stresses of life, I am still struggling to come to accept this truth, not for not wanting it to be true… I will carry forward. Our D/s is restored and I move forward hoping that time and persistence will make slip ups like yesterday less prevalent.
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JC,
Any vacations with children..sick one can be stressful lol !! Yes, both wanting it,craving it makes me work harder for it. I’m a newbie….so still figuring out what will be our Story. ❤️Curveysub -
Thanks everyone. I appreciate your feedback.
Juliet your comments have helped me.
A gift to myself is not something I had thought of. I do feel like it is changing me in many ways. Actually I’m not sure. It’s changing my actions for sure but maybe it’s just allowing me to be who I am. Not this person I’ve fought with for so long.
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