Feeling lost and broken

[daddys-bbg-reule]

Get out of that ball in the corner. Find your sexy. Get out and enjoy life for yourself. There’s a quote I love that says. Take time to fulfill yourself and your needs because you can’t pour from an empty glass. Hope this helps you, Sweetie.

[onlyhis]

Thanks DaddysBGG
It does help. The day after writing this I started to feel better about me. I guess I just had to say to realize that only I can change this

Thank you again

[daddys-bbg-reule]

Saying or writing things out helps me as well. Glad to hear you are feeling better Sweetie

[Veruca]

When you ask, is there anything you can do to help him engage…
Read to him what you wrote here in downtime. He can not know how you feel or what you need specifically unless you communicate that to him. You communicated a lot of things that I think would do you both good to discuss during downtime. Good luck and cyber hugs!
Smooches,
V

[nicolex]

“When he is giving me attention, personally I NEED to be directed, lead, reminded, corrected, and pushed to get into the head space where I’m actually enjoying pleasing him instead of fearing disappointing him, or not fulfilling his expectations.”

i love the way you said that, i’ve been trying to figure out a way to put those thoughts into words for a while now.

“mentally checked out” has also helped me put a few thoughts into words. we’re still new to this too, but it seems like after the first month or two he pretty much checked out. the more i learned the more i wanted and needed, and the farther i’ve tried to get things to go the less i actually receive. to ask him straight up he’ll agree he wants the same, but at the same time the more seriously i’ve tried to take things the less serious he’s been about it… to the point of scoffing at me one night while trying yet again to push for a contract. talk about fucking embarrassing. things like that just make me shut down.

now it’s, he thinks i don’t really want it. i’m starting to feel like a complete idiot for what i want and it really really hurts.
i’ve been at a total loss over what to do or how to even begin to fix anything for a while now. hell, we don’t even do as much in the bedroom with it as we used to, instead of moving forward and taking things further we’ve just regressed. i don’t even like getting on this site much anymore because of it. reading everyone’s posts about doing all of the things that i yearn to do but don’t get to do. i just end up sad and the jealousy is overwhelming. why is it that so many women are getting the whole package from their Doms, ut i can barely get any effort from mine?

i made him a husDom account too. he’s not been on the site even once.

[onlyhis]

Veruca
Thank you!

I did just as you reccommended and he hadn’t realized that I was feeling the way I was. And I didn’t realize how stressed out he is over work related issues. We are still having A lot of vanilla nights but slowly getting better.

Thank you again
The support from you ladies mean so much

[Veruca]

So glad things are getting better, no matter how slowly. Slow is good actually, in my opinion, because anything good only comes from patience and perseverance. Hang in there lady and keep HONESTLY COMMUNICATING, no matter how silly you think it is or how hard it may be at the time.

Smooches,
V

[onlyhis]

Hey lilnik

I understand the struggle and the feelings of defeat.

We started down this path when our marriage hit some really rocky times. Mainly focused around our lack of intimacy. I was unsure of what I wanted and more unsure if what I thought I wanted was “ok” I have a near impossible time speaking out how I feel and what I want. So I wrote him a letter.

That’s when he told me that this is what he has always wanted in our relationship. The first month was great. Then he didn’t ask for pictures, didn’t grab me randomly. We went right back to vanilla.

I now better understand that it a lot more work on his end than he was expecting. And especially with spending so much time away he finds other ways to occupy his time then they become the new habits and he needs to be reminded he initiated this and I truly do want it.

It’s not perfect and it’s not easy. We are both still learning, and leaning a lot.

I have had the hardest time figuring out how I should be in showing him that I do crave him and his affection
I want to help him discover what it is that he wants in this life style. Right now I think I want it a little bit more, I know he enjoys it I just don’t know how far he actually wants to take it. Right now with kids and our crazy shifts it pretty much stays in our bedroom.

Lilnik, girl hold on, stay strong, and stay you! He may need some help too.

Like Veruca suggested tell him
If you can say it to his face write him a letter maybe. That has been my way to get more comfortable with communicating the things I’m scared to say

I wish you all the best girl