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Emotions
Sir and I have been working on our pain play… Spanking to be specific. Sir set a timer and I was to be spanked for a certain amount of time.
The last minute or so was incredibly intense. It was not bad enough for me to safe word and call DT, but I began to cry… Almost sobbing for no reason at all. I felt a lot of frustration and anger before I started to cry.
Sir finished his swats and called DT, held me for a minute while I pulled myself together, then scolded me for not using my safe word. I felt much better after I had a good cry and talked with Sir. He offered to stop but I didn’t want to unless He did. I was a little too shaken up to say much anyways, and it was weirdly cathartic anyways. We finished our session like normal.
I realize it is normal to cry during play, but is it a good thing? How can I reassure Sir in the moment that he didn’t hurt me? Did we do too much too fast? It’s almost like he knocked something loose, if that makes sense. I struggle w/anxiety and sometimes my emotions get the better of me, but this was definitely not one of those times. - 4 Replies
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I have been wondering that as well. We’re very very new to this. If I cry from an emotional release during a scene, but not from pain, how does that work? I’ll be following this to see what others think in their replies. Your not alone wondering about such things.
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I feel it is a great thing to release your emotions through play! As subs we hold so much in to try and make the world around us happy and perfect. Anxiety, stress and such can build up and one way to release is through emotion. During intense play we are able to relax to a point where we as subs can fully let go. So crying is completely normal.
If you feel fine, reassure your Sir by explaining how you felt. If it makes Him more comfortable and/or you then maybe incorporate a way to check in during a spanking session or any session. Have Him ask during it when He is wanting to know or you want to let Him know what your pain range is. Have Him stop for a second, rub you tenderly and ask your number 1-10 of how you feel. If you are not ok or need a moment, ask Him to help you. This will help build confidence on both sides and trust. And always have aftercare afterwards. If you havent, search after care in the search bar and let your Sir read it too. Hope this helps!
-KLB
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Excellent shares and replies … here are a few of my thoughts and what I have experienced and learned 🙂
Each time can be different …depending on my day , life, …
I too, in the beginning tried to NOT use my safe colors but, that really messed me up. I started thinking no , I don’t like this …it hurts not fun …So, I use my yellow often to let Sir know to slow down, easy up , I need some loving..maybe an O to keep going. For me, I need Os to go far with the pain !
We use colors for me simple…green yellow red. Sir uses numbers to check on how Im feeling on what he is doing …we only use 1-5
Every D/s is unique. Communication is the KEY ..talk about what will work for you both. In the beginning give both yourself a BIG learning curve LOL
Living Happily D/sm After ,
Curvey -
Thanks ladies! Sir and I talked about color words and I asked Sir to check in now and then. He told me he enjoys the challenge of keeping me at a certain number!
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