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Downtime
Hi! Sir and I have had a couple of downtimes, and it’s great. The problem is that he’s not much of a talker, He’s always been the strong silent type, which I love, but I don’t want our downtime to be just me talking or leading with him just answering “Yes.” “No.” or short answers. I’m wondering if you all have any suggestions for conversation starters that we could use? I could even print them out on cards and just rotate through the deck. Thanks!
- 8 Replies
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Kanna,
Perhaps write a short list of topics you’d like to address at your next downtime? This will give him a chance to think about them and prepare answers that are thought out and not just a yes or no. You could also include a couple questions that you’d like answers to that he would need time to think about.. this is only a suggestion. Good luck! -
My Sir is pretty talkative, so most times he is leading the conversation and I am answering. However, I do also keep a journal in my nightstand where I jot down things to discuss as they come to me. Then, I give it to him during downtime, and he will look through it and pick things out that he wants to discuss. It also the same journal I used during the kneeling challenge. It’s all D/s thoughts that he can browse and bring up as he pleases (questions, quotes, ideas for scenes, etc. It’s really a hodgepodge).
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Hey Kanna. My Master is pretty talkative but we first started on this site last fall and that was when we started Downtime. Love Downtime! It’s an amazing relationship tool. One if our first Downtimes was after a journal prompt from LK. ‘Take a week to list 25 things that are important to you’. (Its harder than you think). I did the list and gave it to Master at Downtime for us to discuss. Then it was his turn to take the week to write his 25 things and share at next Downtime. After that you go through both and pick 5 top things that are fir both if you. Anyway this was a great starting point for us. Opened up alot of different things for us to talk about and work on, make goals. I don’t know if this will work for you but if your interested it’s in journal prompt from last fall.
Jsbunny-
Wow! That’s great! Is it 25 things in general that are important to you, or for your relationship?
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I’m not tech literate so please bare with me. These are the two prompts, I dont know if the links will work. Its October 7 journal prompt.
https://submrs.com/event/submissive-journal-prompt-whats-most-important-to-you/
https://submrs.com/event/submissive-journal-prompt-whats-most-important-part-2/
Read the entry for the full details but my take was that they had to be personal to you. Not the happiness of your kids or things for your Sir, personal to you. I hope the links work or you can find them. It was really good for us.-
Awesome! I’ll look at those tomorrow. Thank you!
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Thanks, @jsbunny! That will be perfect for our anniversary weekend! We can write our lists of 25 beforehand and then do the rest while we’re there. It’ll be a great way to identify our priorities and make a plan of action to achieve them.
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We have to have a schedule for DT. It’s such a special and important time for us we do it once a week to keep things on track. Just got serious about this ritual about a year ago and it’s resulted in an amazing growth in our D/s. To make it work well I have to prepare for the DT and then learn to listen to my Sir. It’s pretty much of a challenge when kneeling naked to Him and listening to His corrections. Working on not justifying my non-submissive actions especially my mouth. It tends to fill up the empty space. That is a full time job for me.
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