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dominant entrepreneur vs. D/s-M submissive
Becoming D/s-M was a necessary step that began three years ago for me, when doing a sexual health course. The author spoke about how women who are entrepreneurs, C-level, or even just in demanding jobs where they have to make decisions (aka highly masculine energy) typically require a dominant partner/submissive relationship where they can be submissive, shut down, turn off, go back into the feminine. She explained it beautifully describing a scale of 1=super feminine 10=super masculine: during business hours I have to operate at an 8 in my business and need my husband to rise up into a 15 level to get me back down to a 2 on this scale. D/s-M has helped tremendously.
BUT…. I find myself slinking away from my business instead of standing up in my power. I find myself just being submissive and not going out to network, market, use my voice to share my message. I am the sole income earner so this is a huge problem. I feel like I don’t care anymore, I just want someone to take the business over so I can just do what I’m told….
How does a submissive at home be dominant in her business? I want to utilize the power exchange subconsciously to lift me up, give me strength and energy, and at the same time a place to be calm, feminine, quiet. I have talked to my husband and he understands, but there isn’t much he can do since this is all in my mindset and space.
My only idea is to find more power in my feminine, dress more like who I really am (confident, powerful, beautiful) instead of hiding. As well as setting stricter business hours, only working in my office, separating my bedroom and work since I work from home daily.
- 4 Replies
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Hello Snowbunny!
Great question. I too am in a very stressful, demanding line of work. I am very assertive and a take charge personality in the work place. I totally agree with that being submissive at home helps me balance my personality and lets me decompress. As far as your question, I don’t have an answer because I have not experienced that. The answers are definitely inside of you, because you listed some very productive ideas for yourself…it sounds to me like you just have to give yourself permission to be assertive and aggressive in your role at work. I will say that it is a challenge to divide your mindset like that (especially since you work from home), but it is totally possible. Good luck lady! You can do this!
Smooches,
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Maybe you can have a symbol for yourself. Similar to a collar or other submissive symbol, you could have an accessory or piece of jewelry that for you signifies your entrepreneurial dominance and reminds you of your confidence and strength. And maybe remind yourself that it takes strength to be submissive, that there is power in feminity too. And you can harness those things in your career to your success.
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Snowbunny, this is a struggle for many of us and even women who do not work outside of the home or have roles that require authority. How do we switch from being “Mom” to “lover”? It all takes concsious descion, dedication and practice. I too work from home and have a very demanding career. I wear a bracelet (in addition to my traditional wedding ring) that reminds me of my commitment to D/s but sitting at my desk, surrounded by all my work items keeps my mind focused on work responsibilities. We have had to have conversations (multiple times) about my hours and roles. My HusDom does not work normal hours and is often home during my work week. We try to connect each night so he is aware of my schedule the next day. If I have really important meetings/demo’s that absolutely can’t be interrupted, I close and lock my office door and put a sign on the door. These are the “logistics” but as far as the emotional/mental, I think the more you communicate with your Sir the easier it will become.
I have had similar feelings but my Sir has helped me through this just bey telling me how much he appreciates my strength and successes in my business. That helps me tremendously to keep priorities in the order they need to be, at the time they need to be.
Good Luck!
Bliss -
I too own a business, in a male dominated field no less. I used to feel this need to be masculine to prove myself, or fit in with my colleagues. My role at work is the exact reason my husband and I started talking about this D/s relationship. I was really just exhausted from being this ball buster at work, which was creeping into my life at home.
I have discovered that using my femininity is what makes me stand out, my softness and ability to make men feel like men gives me a major advantage, which is extremely empowering.
I live in the Southeast, home of the Southern Belle, often portrayed as a dumb, helpless woman. That portrayal couldn’t be further from the truth. Southern women have this uncanny ability to be in complete control of a room, while being feminine and even submissive, it’s mind boggling.
Southern women often shamelessly flaunt their femininity and use it to their advantage both socially, and professionally. Once I realized that I could have professional and personal equality without sacrificing my femininity, compassion, manners, principals, or humor, I began to enjoy my work MUCH more.
I find that I don’t intimidate my male clients, even though I know a lot more about something that is traditionally a male topic, and I make women feel more comfortable because I’m not trying to be something I’m not, and women can sense that. It’s a win, win, all around!!!
I’m making a huge assumption that you too are suppressing your femininity to get things done at work, if I’m wrong then please forgive me.
Maybe rather than channelling your masculinity at work, try to enhance your femininity. It will empower you to use your voice and take initiative in your business, but you won’t feel so… so… (I have no words to describe that feeling)…
Many times networking can be in service too. I don’t go to those networking meetings, they’re exhausting. I network by joining civic clubs, sitting on boards, going to community functions, and volunteering. I’ve made so many new friends and clients this way, but I’m doing something for my community at the same time.
Best of Luck to you!!!
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