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Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Has anyone else had issues with their Sir having days when they seem to have decided already in the morning that you cannot be pleasing that day? Don’t know how to describe it better but some days I just can’t for the life of me seem to do anything right and I find myself resorting to those unpleasant vanilla responses I have been working on polishing away. I kind of end up in a bad circle of why do I try if I will get punished for doing it wrong regardless. Been trying to talk to Sir but he doesn’t seem to understand what I am trying to say so I am unsure if I am not explaining myself right. I want to please him and I don’t know how to break this cycle once I am in it.
- 4 Replies
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Have you tried at down time? Im new so i dont know much. But for us if i say i sent email he knows we need to talk through issue
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I have been in your shoes. It is not easy being corrected, sub or not. I am not sure of your story so I will speak from my personal experiences. We have been doing TTWD for almost 9 months now and I still get corrected almost everyday for my “tone”. Even when I am frustrated at other things in life I tend to take it out on my Sir. I am working on that, but there are days that I feel like I try so hard and still fall short of his expectations. However most of the time once the anger and frustration passes I see that he is right. It is my vanilla reaction to snap back and tell him he expects too much. But is it really too much to communicate respectfully to him my anger or frustrations? No, its not. When I start to feel the feelings you describe I do what master pet suggests, I ask him for downtime. The posture for downtime, kneeling with your head in your Dom’s lap, helps keep me mindful of my tone as I tell him how I am struggling to please him. This gives him the opportunity to change my train on thought with his kind words. He will recognize my efforts and reassure me that I do make him happy. Communication is one of the foundations to D/s. If you are not having regular downtime I would suggest bringing it up to your Dom and see if you can make it a weekly ritual to help evolve your communication. LK has several blog post on the topic of downtime I recommend you read to get a clear view of what I am talking about. Come on over to chat if you need to talk about it more.
HUGS!
Kleine -
I asked Sir for some downtime to talk about it yesterday.
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I hope downtime went well! Have you tried journaling? It helps me to get it out, then reread later to see if I feel the same way or was being more emotional than rational.
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