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Confused
This post is gonna be confusing ? So sir and i started our 24/7 D/s a month ago, we have been together 9,5 years and we have always been somewhat D/s. We have had our ups and downs like any other couple, i have a teenager from before and we have a 5 y.o together. Anyway enough backstory for now ?
Im confused about yeasterday, i love my sir and he has been amazing ever since i kneeled and afsked for this completely things just clicked for both of us. Ive read a lot and he has too, but he Works hard and are tired and i totally understand,we are having downtime everyday to work Out all of this and How to make it our own. Anyway.. Yesterday he text me from work to take a shower,shave all over, to play with myself to practice delaying my orgasm but if I couldn’t I was allowed to come. Then when I was finished to put on full makeup. When he came home he was happy about it all and I told him I really tried holding it back but couldn’t, I felt like I have failed. He assured me it was okay cos he gave me permission to come. The evening went on with kids etc. the oldest went to grandmas to sleep and the little one was asleep,he commaned me to take my pants off,I said “yes sir” and follewed his orders.he pulled me down on the couch to get on all fours,smacked my ass and grapped my hair saying I was a good girl. He then went in the other room and pulled a mattress on the floor and told me too kneel on it, I did. He said not to speak so I dint. I pulled my hair and had me rest my head on his shoulders biting my neck, pinching my nippels. Told me to lay down sideways, I followed orders.he then put his fingers in saying he was pleased with my wetness for him. He then fucked me hard spanked my ass telling me to thank him for every slap in my ass,I did ofcourse cos I love pleasing him. He turned me around,pulled out and came over my stomac.wiped med down,said that it was just to get him off. Told me to get dressed and went for a cigarette,I was so confused cos I didn’t know what I was being punished for. I cried to myself but went to kneel by the door for him,like he have told me to every time he smokes. He came up, went to the couch and layed down watching tv. Told me to come lay beside him. He did ask me if I was okay, I really tried to be a good girl but I couldn’t help myself and I started to cry cos I didn’t know what I had done wrong,he felt bad and comforted me saying I didn’t do anything wrong, and I told him that it made me feel like I did. We never have had a quickie like this before and I will accept the punishment if I just knew what I had done wrong.im not sure where I’m going with this but I still the day after feel like crap, I feel like I have to work harder at being good for him. I did hear what he said and he said that it would never happen like this again until we are further along or I’m bringing punished. I honestly feel hurt,that he dosent care about me,that I was his handjob. I know in my heart that my sir is not like that and that he loves me, but the way I feel right now it awful.how can I tell myself that’s not the case? What can I do to be a better subporter for him so that these things doesn’t keep happening? (Sir has unintentionally punished me for a vanilla situation and,punished me by saying I wasn’t allowed to touch him for a whole day, cos I was being a tad bratty, I accepted all these things but maybe I forgot to ask for downtime /aftercare before bed. So I felt horrible and couldn’t sleep ?)Simone
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He did warm me before slapping my but, it definet was funishment ?
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Are you sure it was actually intended to be a punishment? Maybe he was just exercising his right to his dominance?
I’m still very new as well so maybe someone else will come along with more experience.
One thing I have learned though is that we have to be honest with our doms so they know how we feel but once they explain or tell us something…we should try very hard to accept it and not dwell because they have our best interest at heart.
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I’m not sure of anything ? We did talk about it, I guess I was just overwhelmed by it. All of this is very intens, I do want it.I just gotta learn how to stop being selfish in bed ? Now that I read your reply I’m thinking maybe it was just my ego getting in the way, cos he normally do a lot to bring me pleasure in bed.
He is always considerate of my feelings, and he is a good sir.im so surprised of how quick he got very much dom,haha I can’t keep up as a good sub it seems ?
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And thank you for your input, it certainly got me thinking ?
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You’ve got this!!! We are always learning and growing ?
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So I just read over your initial message and I think it may be in part due to sub drop. Please read this link carefully….
https://submrs.com/submissive-forums/topic/subspace-sub-fever-and-sub-drop/
It sounds to me that you did nothing wrong and that nothing truly went wrong or that in any way we’re you being punished. Sometimes, we are our Doms release and it’s fun to take pride in being that for them. He knew you had gotten an orgasm earlier, and had built yourself up. So he may have felt you were ok in that area and truly just wanted to play with you and worry about his own desires and Dominance. I truly don’t think you need to worry based on what you wrote, but please do read that link and share it with your Dom. It may clear some things up. And if you don’t already, start practicing aftercare after scenes so you both can get an idea of what went right, what went wrong and how you both feel. But it sounds like you and your Sir do a great job of communicating so keep it up!!!!
~KLB -
It doesn’t sound to me like you did anything wrong or were being punished…but I understand that is how you felt, and that is important to discuss with your Sir. It is hard in the beginning to come to terms with the fact that sometimes a scene or playtime may just be for Sir’s pleasure. It was hard for me to adjust my brain, to not focus on the fact that I didn’t get a “happy ending” and just take pride in providing myself for Sir. It can be confusing and sometimes my feelings would get hurt as well. Honest communication is always the key to navigating these waters with your Sir.
It sounds to me from the exchange on the couch after, that you have a very loving and caring Sir. Keep up the communication because that is what helps both Dom and sub understand these intense emotions that come with new experiences. In downtime, I have often gotten a better handle on things because Sir explains his side of it…especially if I have a moment of doubt or insecurity after a scene.
It will all be ok and you are doing a great job!
Smooches,
Veruca -
Thank you so much Ladies ❤ this really helped me out a lot, sometimes I just need others perspective on things to get my head around it.i have such a loving sir and we have talked about it some more, he told me that next time he would let me know before hand so that I can get in proper mindset,he knows that I have trouble not knowing what’s about to happen, and that’s what a lot of my training is gonna involve. But as a start he is gone ease in to it.
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Dom & Subs…get a learning curve in the begiing…my share
Hearts, Curvey
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