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Bedtime Ritual
Bedtime Ritual
pre-D/s
He watched tv or read in our room. At some point I would realize the door was shut and that meant he was already in bed. He would shut the door as quiet as he could so that I did not hear it. Some nights I didn’t care some nights it broke my heart. We have never went to bed at the same time. This all started as soon as we got married. I’ve always been a late person and he accommodated me in the year we were dating. As soon as we were living together that was his ticket for sleep. He actually said something to that extent that he was relieved he could actually sleep now. So he would tell me he was going to bed and I didn’t want to go so I would pout and make him feel guilty. I don’t know why I couldn’t just do it. I don’t if anyone can tell but I have an aversion to going to bed. 😉 I made him feel guilty about it so he stopped telling me he was going to bed. Occasionally he would maybe when things were going well with us but for the most part I would just find the door closed. Over twenty years like this.
Now
Now he tells me he is going to bed and I immediately follow him. He usually gets in bed while I freshen up. I then kneel beside the bed naked and he will eventually pull me up. I will lay on him and we may talk a while or it leads to playtime or I rub his back and let him go to sleep with no guilt. It’s not always easy to control the disappointment but it is probably one of the most important things I do. (Wow I realized that as I typed it. It IS the most important thing I do.) He has said recently that he would rather have me mad at him than see the look of disappointment on my face. That’s why he went to bed without telling me.
I don’t stay in bed with him and he doesn’t mind. Sometimes he goes to bed so early. I have taken time for him and for us and then I can make the night longer.
I wouldn’t go back to the way it was. Early in this there was a night I walked down the hall and the door was closed. I stopped dead in my tracks and as I choked back tears I thought No he wouldn’t go to bed without telling me. I opened the door and he was reading. The kids had just gotten too loud. I started to tell him that I had seen the door closed and he cut me off saying he wouldn’t do that me. 🙂
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2 Replies
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This is a lovely post to read Princess. I am so glad for you and for your Sir that you have been able to find a way to make what was something difficult into something which is now bringing you closer together. It is a real testament for what D/s can do to help a relationship.
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It is beautiful and I’m glad you shared.
My Queen and I are kind of similar although I’m the early nighter (maybe it’s a male thing? xD ). My Queen however is often quite happy to go to bed, she just doesn’t actually go to sleep… (And no, it’s not ALWAYS because W/we’re playing). I’m of course required to go to bed with my Queen which sometimes is difficult as I often don’t have time to just relax/chill between finishing my chores and bed and then going to bed – finding time to fiddle with hobbies and so on. However, I value the requirement to go to bed with my Queen – it really does make me feel closer to my Queen… I spent the better part of a decade with very different bedtimes to my late wife and I enjoy the feeling of closeness even if W/we don’t play or do anything together (massages being the most popular choice of my Queen ;). ). I feel connected to a great extent by the requirement to go to bed at the same time. I know it’s because my Queen loves me and wants her boy close by and it also feeds O/our dynamic because of course, I don’t have a choice.
Shared bedtime does really mean something special, doesn’t it?
HerSubject
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