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Back again
My name is Kimberly and I am ColDom’s sub. We were on the site approximately a year ago and I was way more aggressive than my husband was. We had developed a contract that was more my ideas than his and he was not consistent, didn’t hear me when I spoke, etc. I soon got tired of it and felt like it was nothing more than a way for him to be lazy and have me do stuff for him. Our sex life was majorly lacking also, so I didn’t ever get the kink out of it that I desired.
Over the summer, our marriage had a breakdown. I was ready to leave for good because I didn’t feel loved, didn’t feel heard, and generally wasn’t sure what benefit there was to being married. I agreed to go to marriage counseling at our church, where our associate pastor did a temperament study with us. Through that study I learned why my husband is wired the way he is and why I’m wired the way I am. That’s a whole different discussion, but the short of it is that walking away from that study, my husband approached me several different times and said he missed the Ds relationship and that it is the closest he has felt to me in our marriage. I disagreed and told him I wasn’t interested. He kept bringing it up, and then one night said that he realized he needs this for him. He always knew he was Dominant, but didn’t truly understand how much he needed it or how much I needed to be submissive.
I assumed this would be another go around of him putting a collar on me in the morning, him telling me to do chores for him during the day, and nothing changing. However, he took charge, developed his own contract, and then we discussed it. I was surprised at all the thought he put into it this go around. You could see the difference in his mentality and the desire for follow through.
We officially began this journey again on November 15th, so we’re not too far into it, but I am excited to see how this progresses and have learned to not be as aggressive and to let him take the lead.
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