This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Veruca MOD/Mr. Cain 1 year, 1 month ago.

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  • #29594
     Reynaniteraven 
    Participant

    Hello Everyone!

    I’m very new to D/s-M with the exception of hearing about the lifestyle from people here and there.

    My Sir and I recently found out we both wanted this type of lifestyle less than a month ago. We are both quite new to this.

    I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on as well as my Sir has done the same.

    We have been married for 24 years but known each other for 26 years. I was brought up in a very female dominant household/family. What the women said goes..if you allowed a man to have power over you..you were weak.

    I’m not like this. I work in health care and have to make deductions daily. I was just tired of feeling like I had to be in charge of everything. I didn’t want it.

    The stress made my already high walls around me higher. A year ago my marriage to Sir was looking like it was going to end in divorce. We were so far apart from each other emotionally and physically. Sex was dull and. It exciting at all.

    I was depressed and always felt angry.

    For over 20 years we worked opposite shifts so we didn’t have to pay for daycare and prior to that he was military.

    To say we barely knew each other anymore once our children were over the age of 18 was a understatement.

    Then one night my husband and I watched the FSOG movie. I was going to watch it alone. I told Sir I was going to watch it one night when he was working night shift. He expressed his interest in watching it with me! I was like “ok…I wanted to watch it alone for fear I’d be embarrassed.

    I watched it with him. I had not read the books so I had no clue what to expect. Only that one of my co-workers talked me into watching it because I really like Jamie Dornan from when I watched him in The Fall. I had no clue this was the same actor in FSOG.

    Sir and I watched the movie…you could tell something sparked within both of us. If not pure interest as to what this was. Then we watched the second movie within two weeks after the first.

    Our first visit to an adult store together ever happened within these three weeks. First just to get some lubercant that wouldn’t harm our skin….then again to look at a variety of toys…then finally we ventured over to D/s side of the store.

    If someone would have told me a year ago my Sir and I would be adult toy shopping together I would have told them they were crazy. I was/am so shy and have a horrible image of how I view my body (Sir and I are working on this)

    I don’t know what switch flipped inside me to take a leap and try this. I know I never wanted to be in charge…I wanted him to take charge in everything. It used to drive me crazy when I would ask him what he wanted to eat and he would say “what ever you would like love”. It stressed me out to have him always make me make the choices in everything. He thought that’s what I wanted. I didn’t

    The best thing that has happened to us since finding this lifestyle is we have become way more open with each other, we communicate more and more than ever before.

    He says he feels as such that I’ve put him on a pedestal and lifted him up. He says he even has more
    Confidence at work. All because I’m finally letting down my walls and doing and being what I feel I always wanted to do/be…completely and totally submit to him and ONLY him.

    I’m sure I have tons of questions I can’t currently remember.

    One of the things I want to do badly is kneel for Sir!

    I currently am unable too. I have begun to get osteoarthritis in both knees and three months ago I had knee surgery for a torn meniscus.😞 Is there info out there for different kneeling poses for bad knees?

    I have so much more to say. I think the day after a night of play with Sir I cried. Not because of the play but because things he told me…how he cherished me, would protect me, how I was his everything and have given him the keys to the kingdom. Plus he held me so tender and close!

    This whole time we have been together that’s all I ever wanted. I just felt extremely overwhelmed yet happy. Is this a normal reaction?

    Also Sir and I do not get to see much of each other. I have a 2 hour commute to work and he works anywher from 9-13 hour shifts
    depending on what he has to for his job.

    Before I would drag myself home and just always feel too tired for anything. Now I find myself trying to get home faster to be with him.

    I’m sorry this is so long. *waves*
    Hello everyone. Thank you for reading through this long post!

  • #29606
     Veruca MOD/Mr. Cain 
    Moderator

    Premium subMrs™

    Hello and welcome! You have found the right place for all of your questions! I am going to encourage you to read LK’s blogs…go into the archives and start at the beginning of her journey and move backward to the present. If there is a specific topic you are interested in, use the search subMrs bar at the top right of your screen (it will be in the drop down menu on your phone) to find all blogs and forums pertaining to the subject you are interested in. When you are ready, please join us in the chat rooms where we talk, in real time, about almost everything!

    Smooches,
    Veruca
    Head Ambassador

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