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Punishments
Hi Everyone: I am a new submissive in a monogamous relationship with an amazing Dom who is leading and guiding me. I love everything about it.
He has asked me a few times what I think my punishments should be. In reading through the articles on this site, lk does not use spanking as a punishment in her relationship. I’m curious others thoughts on this and/or what other forms of punishment you use? Would love thoughts, ideas, suggestions.
Thanks so much,
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6 Replies
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Hi! I’m also a new sub married to a new dom. I pretty much recently learned that I’m a brat that needs more structure and discipline ;P so we are working on punishments and funishments as well.
The funishments are super easy. Spankings, videos of me squirting, blow jobs, butt plugs etc.
but my real punishments for being bad will be things I really don’t like, like being grounded from an app or my phone for hours or days, timeouts, no treats, no orgasms, things I do not enjoy. Lol
I hope this was helpful! I’m still learning every day and so is my sir.
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Squirting is a long term goal for me. I have some serious mental shame that goes along with it and I’m not sure why. I’ve never even heard of funishments! I do know that spanking doesn’t work as a punishment for me…I tend to REALLY enjoy it. lol Then Sir gets frustrated at me smiling, but I can’t help it!
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I enjoy spankings as well, so Sir and I have had to be creative. One thing I HATE are canes, so if He still wishes to punish me with a spanking He will use a cane instead. Also no sexy time with a punishment spanking, all business. Another punishment idea that we use is a cold shower for a certain amount of time, like one or two minutes, or wall sits/squats. I hope these gave you some ideas to mix things up!
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You have to both decide what works for you both. In our marriage, we tried physical punishments and it left both of us feeling empty or worse afterwards. We did the kneel on rice and a few other things…. Sitting in the corner…. but afterwards, I felt like I was being treated like a child. I am not a child and nor did I get off on the feeling of being treated as one, and if I did get off on it, then it’s not punishment, right? My Sir, Mr Fox, wants me to be a strong women and be able to follow his lead.In our dynamic that meant, we discussed and decided on verbal corrections. Boy, let me say, Mr Fox is good at those. But, once the correction is done, it’s not brought up again. As a wife and subMrs, rarely do I have to be corrected about something twice. My own feelings of shame over disappointing him is usually enough to make me think twice about being a bitch or doing something wrong intensionally. That’s my story though … not everyone is like me, but after 10 years I have spoke to MANY submissives and when married you must do punishments with kid-gloves, you want to be cautious and always do what’s best for the marriage. If you like punishments or he like punishing you, that’s fun-ishments… a whole differ story. Physical punishments, especially when they are impact type, can just be plain abuse. Be safe, Be in love, most of all be a subMrs… his second in command. If you have anymore questions, feel free to email me LK@subMrs.com
Here are a couple articles …. HUGS !
https://submrs.com/punishment-or-funishment-married-dominance-and-submission/
https://submrs.com/spankings/LK
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Punishments, that’s a loaded question for many of us. Just like LK, we tried physical punishments early on and neither of us really felt good about them. Almost 4 years into our dynamic and 37 years into our marriage just Sir raising an eyebrow at me is enough to get me back in line. Physical punishments play a very small role in our dynamic now. If we have discussed it before hand and I know that it is the punishment he will use his belt for a spanking. I must emphasize this is rare and only used if we have previously agreed for a specific behavior he is helping me curb.
I think LK’s comment about being good for the marriage is of utmost importance. You are an adult, wife and partner in the marriage/relationship. You need to discuss and agree on the punishments if you choose to use them in your dynamic.
All that being said, if you choose to use punishments there are things other than physical that you can use. One I have heard of is writing lines. “I will not …” 100 times or something like that. Taking some thing away. Anything that is uncomfortable or disliked can be used as a punishment. I am of the mind that a punishment should “fit the crime” in both intensity and severity. In other words a small crime deserves a small punishment.
Hope this helps a little.
Keep Moving
Pearl
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I will probably sound like a broken record here, because we all have a close mindset on punishments. My Sir also likes to ask me what I feel my punishment should be specifically when he feels disrespected in some way. We both side with the funishment mindset. I know Master Gardener would prefer me to self correct, so many times I will stop, take a deep breath and then apologize for brattiness like bad attitude, disrespectful tone, etc. I do get maintenance spankings for specific periods of time, butt again that is because I ask for it knowing I need a reset mentally and this works FOR ME. Its NOT for everyone. In my opinion, there is a fine line between funishments (my maintenance spankings) and abuse. Choosing your own punishment is also a “mind fuck” in that if its too lenient Sir has the authority to increase punishment and if its too much, well I asked for it…lol. Example, once I read about sitting in the corner. Having never experienced that, I chose that as my punishment. Sir laughed and said, “your not a child, go get your nipple clamps” One thing I did was address the subject during downtime. We were both calm and open minded. I asked Sir to give me examples of what he felt a punishment should be vs. a funishment. It was a great communication and helped us both. Hopefully, this will help. Reach out to LK if you need further clarification; she is a plethora of info on our dynamic. Best Wishes.
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