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Worried About Sir
I worry about sir sometimes after a particularly intense play time. Sometimes after a playtime when he is more forceful with me (which i enjoy very much) , the next day he seems distant and depressed. He tells me that sometimes he feels guilty and does not know why. During play he is very into the scene as am I. I feel like he does not want to show his vulnerability to me and be strong and my rock. He is my rock and i depend on him, he makes me feel safe and loved. As his submissive when he says he does not want to elaborate on his feelings I want to respect his wishes, but as his wife i want to make him talk about them, i know he would feel better. During our down time, he still does not elaborate very much. It seems to help him when the next day i send him little msgs, make him dinners and kneel in front of him with my head on his lap. We have D/s for closer to a year now and each day we learn and grow together. There was once in which the day after a more extreme play time, i was very lonely. When i came home from work my sir held me and i actually cried a bit. He reassured me and took care of me. I want to do the same for him when he feels anyway that is not a good waaay, i love him and worry. Does anyone else experience anything like this.
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3 Replies
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I just saw this post and am so sorry it took me so long to see it! I haven’t noticed this from my Sir personally, but it is a great question…we become so used to our Sirs taking care of us physically and emotionally after a scene, I can see how it worries you if he shows signs of what I think sounds like Dom drop. We all know what sub-drop is, but forget that in those really intense scenes, our Sirs can have a lot going on in their heads and bodies as well. Endorphin rushes and hormones are wacky little things that affect all of us. If your Sir is anything like mine, then I totally understand his unwillingness to be vulnerable in front of you. It sounds to me like you have a husband/Dom that cares for you so much! I don’t really know what else to say other than maybe, now that you are seeing this in him at times, find ways to give him some aftercare that he will be receptive to (after you come down from your subbie high of course! lol) and see if that helps…best of luck!
Smooches,
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Since I posted this i have thought alot about it. He still does not elaborate much, When he does express them, I make sure to make sure that i pay special attention to his words. The one thing that my Sir did tell me, was that he needs to feel confident because the mind set he needs to be in during our play requires it. I have had a hard time understanding why this is, because a part of submission for is becoming vulnerable. Thank you for your response, and you are right. I see my Sir as a strong man in all things,I am so used to Sir taking care of me, keeping me safe I sometimes forget that he needs reassurance to. Something that seems so small to me, as putting my arms around him can be so big for him. I continue to think of ways that I can help to make sure he feels confident while maintaining respect for him as my Sir. Maintaining a married D/s relationship is so much more than just being his submissive.
After reading your post, I thought on how i could give him some aftercare, and i have only tried this once but he seemed very receptive to it. After i came down from my subhigh, and he held me and rubbed my neck, wrists and ankles, i noticed he seemed uneasy. As i knelt in front of him,i lay my head on his lap and tried to tell him how wonderful he made me feel. Trying to explain how my “subHigh” feels was difficult. The best way i could do it was to tell him that when he does his Dom thing , it takes me to a place that i feel almost drunk and every touch, look or word from him from that point just intensifies it. He then asked me to lay with him. I lay my head on his chest and put my arm around him. I could see the tension in his eyes lessen and feel his body relax. I think that reassuring him that I will be his no matter what is a big part of it. I love my Sir more than words can express.
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I am glad to read you are feeling better and are working it out. That is wonderful, and I hope you keep making progress and moving forward!
Smooches,
V
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