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When the fun ends too soon – need advice
It happens to everyone occasionally, I’m sure. The sex is hot, you’re on the brink, and he finishes first. As a submissive, I know I should be okay with this. I’m supposed to serve his needs and I should be nothing but pleased that I succeeded in serving him. But in the heat of the moment, when he’s satisfied and I’m a wet, panting mess, I don’t handle it well. If the fun stops completely, I get downright bratty. If he offers to help me finish, I have trouble cumming and feel like it probably isn’t much fun for him. This is not my Sir’s fault, as I’ve sort of created this no win situation for him. Later, when I have a clear head, I feel terrible about being such a poor sub. How should I be handling this? Maybe I need him to Dom up in those moments and outwardly take control by telling me when and how the play will end? Maybe I need to seriously remind myself of my role and just accept whatever happens? Please give me some input, as I fear that this could be a serious roadblock for us in our D/s dynamic, probably because I struggle with being truly submissive in those moments and feel so bad about it afterwards.
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6 Replies
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Downtime! You need to talk with you Sir openly and honestly about what is going on and how you feel about it. Work together to find a solution. Don’t be afraid to explore different solutions with your Sir.
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Lelle,
I agree with Pearl. Use DT to discuss this issue with your Sir. Don’t let it be a stumbling block. Sometimes, our Sirs want us to be left needing them, sometimes it is simply an oversight or something that just happens. Once you know the whole situation, then you can decide how to deal with it. -
I echo what the other ladies have said: Downtime is how I handle situations like this with my Sir. Discussing it when you are cool-headed and not frustrated helps me get my point across without being bratty.
Overall my HusDom takes great pride in the power he has to give me pleasure. He does occasionally tell me that he intends to use me solely for his pleasure that night, and that is emotionally satisfying for me, but as you said part of the deal is knowing that ahead of time so that I can manage my own expectations.
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I can only echo what has already been said, DT and talk about it. He won’t know how you feel and how much it is bothering you unless you honestly and respectfully tell him.
Hugs
Wench -
I would like to chime in with a little bit of a different spin. You mentioned that if he offers to help you finish, you have trouble cumming and feel like it probably isn’t much fun for him. Is this an assumption? There have been many times my Sir just wants to make me cum with no intercourse. His excitement, is my excitement. He will use a dildo, a wand, or even just his mouth to give me an orgasm. Once I cum, he will say something like, “that was for you.” You may be surprised that your Sir finds it erotic to get you off. He may even find it erotic to watch you get yourself off. My recommendation is also to talk in Downtime and ask him how he really feels about this.
If my Sir has not already set the stage that I am for his pleasure that evening I will admit to begging for an orgasm when I get super hot, wet, and need that release. My Sir absolutely loves to hear me beg. Just another suggestion! Beg for it! 🙂
Communication is key here! Hugs!
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Thanks for the advice subbies. Apparently this problem is more in my head than in reality, as he wasn’t concerned at all. So I think he’s going to do more to take absolute control of the situation to keep me out of my head. I love the begging for it idea though and I think he will too.
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