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When hes hot and I'm not
My Sir has a very healthy sexual appetite. Always has. I on the other hand do not. My libido has always been less than normal. I’m fine and easily submissive to him using my body for his pleasure. My difficulty is being hot when he wants me to be for a pleasure session. I’m not into watching porn, (too much research into human trafficking), so what can I do? I don’t want to lie about it, but the fake it till you make it isn’t working either. He’ll ask me to warm myself up, but I’d rather be in bed with a book. Any ideas?
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7 Replies
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lilprincess, i have been there. What kind of books do you read? I have found a racey romance novel gets my mind going. Reading them on my breaks at work (i usually use my kindle)gets your thinking about it before you get home. Warming yourself up for him, well i have found that I cant warm up w/o out using a toy. Try using a bullet with adjustable speeds. I would recommend a vibrating kegeel ball. LuvnFun makes one that is water proof, LuvFun wireless bullet kit w/ remote and can be inserted or used externally. There is a remote that your sir can have that he can use to change the vibrations or turn it on at his pleasure or you can use it on your own. This could help to get you in the mood in a fun way. The vibration will shut off on this one if not in use it for a little bit, it seems to be about 10 then you will have to turn ion the vibration again. My sir will give it to me to wear out shopping or going to dinner. The remote is discreet, and works up to 15 feet away from the remote. I find this gets me ready for the fun later.
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Hi Lilprincess, We have sometimes this issue. I mean it happens that I am way tired, and he is not. So one thing that works for us is..not sure how it is called in English, we call it object mode. Basically he uses me as if I were an object, it is for his pleasure only. This is both a turn on for me. But also it means quicker and less tirying play time for me. Not sure if I am explaining my self right… I am sure there is a lot of info out there regarding this 🙂
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Piccola, i think you explained it right. We do some thing similar.
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On the days he wants you to be ready for a pleasure session, can you ask him to start seducing you earlier in the day? Subtle, little things to set the stage for later….touching you, whispering what he plans to do, telling you he loves you — whatever you like — mental seduction more than physical. Switching immediately from the mindset of wife/mother/regular daytime role to being “in the mood” can be difficult. The build-up and anticipation throughout the day may enable you to feel more in the mood by evening. Even as subs and with our willingness to please our sirs, we still like to be seduced and feel wanted/beautiful/sexy/desirable!
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I have the opposite problem, but I wanted to comment because I’m ALWAYS ready but it hasn’t always been that way. Out of the blue I decided to update my lingerie and night clothes. I bought things that made me feel sexy and tossed the rest, except my two favorite pairs of sweatpants. When I put on a lacy bra and undies, or a slimming bodysuit, maybe a bustier and garters under my work outfit, I genuinely feel like I could conquer the world. I just honestly feel like a sex goddess and my attitude has followed suit! Maybe wearing something that makes you feel like a sex goddess before play will help ramp up the readiness. Combine feeling like a freaking hot piece of tail with some sexy texts from him, a little extra foreplay, maybe a sexy pic, and ggggiiirrrlllll… hehehe
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Usually when he’s hot and I’m it’s because the mental/emotional side of sex hasn’t been appealed to. He’s learned he has to grease the wheel so to speak. Send sexy text messages all day, make sure I have some personal time to decompress, lots of non-sexual touching, etc usually ends up getting me in the mood, surprisingly enough. I also agree with the reading sexy stories. Literotica always gets me going. I’ve run into some duds, but I’ve found some good stuff, too, without having to commit to a full out story when I don’t have time.
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Thank you ladies! This really helps a lot. I found a good series of books thanks to another topic on the forum. And that did seem to help. I also have to get into the idea that I’m worth the pleasure. Always a sticking point for me. I like the idea of dressing sexy and realizing I’m a good piece of tail. He certainly does like to follow that tail. Lol
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