-
when he said yes
Today is our one year mark – of our journey into D/s – M. I look back at where we are, from where we began, and how much we’ve grown in this simple year. We’ve stumbled, fumbled, and leapt. My excitement in the very beginning. His hesitancy. Eventually, we realized and settled into a pace we could both be at peace with. And our relationship has flourished – blossomed. We have never felt closer – our intimacy restored. We’ve both made our relationship a priority. Getting back to basics and building a foundation – LK’s suggestions have been paramount to our success. The community here has been a wonderful subport system, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. A year ago, when I found the site, it just felt right. Today, I am convinced this was being at the right place at the right time. Yankee and I were ready for this. I wrote this last year, a few days after he said yes. **** My dear husband and I started our journey together May 14th, 2015. I came to LK’s site by chance from a link on a FSOG fan fiction site. I was curious.Reading LK’s story in her words, and those of Mr. Fox – it was very familiar. My Yankee and I have been together for over 21 years, married 17. Two kids, homeschooling, extracurricular activities, his job, etc. These things take a toll on a relationship. And don’t doubt that we love each other. We are truly devoted to each other and our little family.But there wasn’t any intimacy. And then came the phenomenon of FSOG. I knew about it -. wasn’t all that interested in it. I had girlfriends that had read it and swooned. okay. whatever. My Anne Rice books were enough for me. Then the movie came out. Well, now, my curiosity is peaked. All of the media hype. Okay. fine. Bought the book on a Friday. Stayed up all night reading. Decided to seduce my Yankee on Saturday, for that evening – taking him to see the movie. Got him a grey tie – told him it wasn’t for wearing… wink, wink. Things happened. Woo Hoo! Happy wifey… Over the next several weeks, I tried to get him more interested, and try to please him. I had made a personal vow to myself to never tell him “no” again. I would call him Sir every now and then. I started thinking I wanted something else. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I wanted more. Last Sunday, before leaving for Church, I told him I felt things were better, but not where I wanted them. And then, I happened upon LK’s website Sunday evening. I started reading, researching. I started thinking. I joined the membership. Started “lurking,” then listening to the chat, then chatting. This felt right. This is what I want. And I want it with him. Wednesday night, early Thursday morning, I did it – I asked him. He got home from work a bit late – it was after midnight. I had drawn him a bath, laid out some clothes (t-shirt, boxers, pj pants). He noted – Hey! I’m not complaining, but why are there so many clothes out for me? He knew something was going on – he was cautiously curious. I asked him to sit in one of the chairs in our bedroom. I sat, on my knees, naked, in between his legs, on the floor. I gave him a card with a letter inside – with the above thoughts, acknowledging our lack of intimacy, recognizing our devotion to each other, reassuring him. I included words from my proposal to him, words from our wedding vows. I asked him to go on this journey with me. But he didn’t know “what” that journey was, yet. He finished reading the card. I handed him some of the material I printed out – words from Mr. Fox. I read him some words from Lk… He looked at me and smiled. We chatted – he had questions. I had some answers. I told him we need to do this together – to make things better. He look at me and smiled, again. So, I asked… Was he willing to take this step and go on this journey? Yes. Was he willing to do the research? Yes. Was he willing to change so that things can be better? Yes. I was unsure if I should ask the next question…. I didn’t want to overwhelm him, but he seemed okay with everything so far. My heart was pounding in my ears. I had never been so nervous, so anxious, with him before. Was he willing to step into the role of Dom, and accept me as his submissive? He said yes! I asked Yankee if I could thank him. Of course – he leaned down & I was able to kiss him. swoon.
-
13 Replies
-
Congratulations on 1 year lady, that’s awesome!
I loved your story, thank you for sharing such an intimate moment with all of us.
Smooches,
V -
Congtats! I wish you and your Sir many more to come.
-
That’s a great share, Gracie! Congratulations! One year is a big deal. You both should be proud. We still have several months before we get there and reading stories like yours is very encouraging.
Hugs-hs -
Thank you, Ladies!
-
?Congratulations Gracie!? This is a beautiful story. I wish you and Yankee have many more happy years!
-
OOO Gracie…tears of JOY for you BOTH! What a wonderful share. Yes, its a couples individual journey. Its soo much more than floggers and rope ( but, more Sir please ) LOL !! Its a level of connection with your HusDom that I find words can not express.
May you journey continue to be filled with Love, Joy and great KINK !!
Hearts, Curvey
-
Gracie that us so beautiful! Very familiar… ;). So interesting how so many of our stories are so familiar, especially those of us who have been married a long time. It’s helpful to hear that my Sir isn’t the only one that was hesitant, although he to willing to do this and take on the Dom role, I still haven’t actually done an FA yet. Talking about things casually like bedtime talk is one thing but naked on your knees, bare your soul in a formal act is another I think as it shows how committed I am.
This Ds-M I can tell brings a whole new level of intimacy, communication and connection. I see this with every couple who has been in this for a length of time, it’s what drew me to this lifestyle/dynamic. It’s what I/we want/need so badly. I see it in all the FA posts I read. It’s so beautiful and encouraging.
Thank you Gracie for sharing! And congrats on your year anniversary! ? -
This is beautiful. I feel as though I can sense his curiosity unfolding in the way you told the story and here you are one year later. Thank you for sharing and being such a supportive subbie for those of us trying to find our way.
-
Gracie, thanks for this post – looking back to the start after a year of growth. It is so inspiring to see these types of stories shared. Congratulations on now almost 18 months!
Your first paragraph really resonated with me, because I think the aspect of this community that hooked me was the emphasis on rebuilding and strengthening our relationship. I look forward to the future when I can write a lovely post sharing our first year adventure together!
-
My husband has just said he is interested in being more dominant after me asking a few times. He’s been a little more pushy in the bedroom and I’ve been more submissive but I want more, I feel the social conditioning of how to treat women is still ingrained in him, i.e when I want my arse spanked I want to feel it the next day not have him worried he’ll hurt me. I told him he can have it wherever, whenever, however he likes it. How did you get from this point of initial interest to getting more of what you needed?
-
Hi littleb84,
My husband and I are 4ish months into this lifestyle and the only thing I can say is give it a bit of time. I completely understand what you are saying about social conditioning & I’m sure it takes most new Doms a while to really believe what we are saying and what we want. I’ve found lots of good articles to give my Sir to read and gradually he started to test the water to see if I would really do as he has asked. It has been slow but the more he sees me submit the more he dominates & expects so we feed off each other & grow into our roles together. It has gone from him tentatively being more dominant in bed a few months ago to now him texting me & telling me to wear love eggs to do my chores or whatever other things he thinks of as he grows in confidence!? Good luck with your journey. I’m sure you’ll get there if you both truly want this. Take care. KatieBoo xx -
Ah thank you Katieboo, that’s a good idea with the articles, thank you!
-
Ladies –
So sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I have way too much on my vanilla plate right now. wink wink
What was key to our beginning was taking it so slowly. As much as I wanted ALL of it RIGHT NOW, my Yankee still had to wrap his head around such a dramatic change in our relationship. He’s not a reader, so it took quite a bit of determination on his part to really do his research and explore those things that interested him, and me.
It all boiled down to us both realizing and recognizing that things had to change. And we were both committed to making that change – whatever it was.
Slowly introducing things into the bedroom was helpful, and played a big part of our journey. Having the ladies here to chat with, having the Doms on the other site for him was good too. We are blessed to have a couple that lives close to us, and having an opportunity to meet with them was reassuring.
Having an open mind, working on that foundation, trusting each other implicitly. So many different variables play into this equation. It’s not just one thing, it’s so many little things. And feeding his Dominance is so important.
We know that even with our vanilla schedule getting in the way, we still have each other, and we do those little things that do remind us of our dynamic, on a daily basis.
It is a journey we continue to walk, with patience and determination.
I hope that helps!
~gracie
Log in to reply.