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What type of submissive are you?
How would you describe your submissive self – service oriented, bratty, pain slut, humiliation slut, Little, Pet, property, etc., new? What traits go into your submission? Please don’t feel limited to my list, there are no right or wrong answers here. We are all wonderful, similar and unique individuals. I’m hoping to help us get to know each other better and discover what more is out there beyond what I currently know.
One of the aspects of my submission is care taking. I do the domestic chores (most not very well but Sir is happy with what I do) and I try to keep things organized. I love doting on Sir, when he is home I fetch him water and make sure he remembers to eat (he gets highly focused on work and hobby projects) and get him anything else he asks. I am his cheerleader and moral support. And I love being his sex toy.
I am his Good Girl. I take pleasure in pleasing him. I get sad if I break a rule or forget to do something he’s asked and I appreciate his loving correction. I tease a little bit but try to keep it sweet and light hearted. I do my best not to brat or pout. I am tender hearted and can be very sensitive so Sir is very good to help me understand the motivations of others and helps me cope with the few mean people I encounter. I love it when he dotes on me – buys me treats, pets my head, takes charge and guides me when I’m depressed or anxious. I enjoy activities like coloring and watching kids movies and action/adventure movies.
- 16 Replies
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I am very domestic. Home management, organizing and focusing on home and family are my interests. I have laughingly said that lists, organizers and protocols are my fetishes.
That I wanted the role of wife at home caring for home and husband is why we thought of our marriage as a traditional roles one. Our marriage has always had power exchange but both my husband I initially thought of D/s as the kinkier end of things, like kneeling, wearing collars, submission in sex in bondage, impact play, humiliation and all that. I have since come to understand that D/s doesn’t have to include that.
I don’t make a good sex sub, I am afraid but I make good homemade bread and have a notebook of lists!
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We’re new to all this so we’re still working out the dynamics, which is complicated by the fact that He’s deployed right now. It’s been mostly in the bedroom so far. I’m definitely a masochist, and love the pain play so I guess you could say I am a pain slut, although I wish there was another word for it.
We’ve always had pretty traditional roles in our marriage. I’ve always stayed home to take care of the house and the kids. Not as great with the cleaning domestic side, but I do love to cook and serve His favorite meals. HB I love how you described your love of lists and organization! My family calls me “The Keeper of the Calendar” because everything is on my calendar. -
I have always had to have routines, schedules to follow and plans. The things I do as an adult seemed a natural progression.
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I try to do whatever pleases him. He does not have many requests so I take it upon myself to figure out what that is. I was never great with chores so he would do a lot of them. Laundry included. I have taken that over not because it’s fun but because I want to take things off his plate. I do them with a completely changed mindset now. I serve him and the kids are old enough to get their own darn plates. lol It is not a need to serve but a desire to show devotion to him. Intimacy is my purpose in this.
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“It is not a need to serve but a desire to show devotion to him.” I too feel this way. Beautifully said.
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“because I want to take things off his plate.”
I agree with that. I began by naturally stepping in behind and following a man I felt drawn to. He was my best friend then and later when we married, doing for him was to do my part in the home and life we wanted to achieve. Honoring and showing respect in public was showing my love for him; I cared about his reputation, about the respect he received from others, if he had the support and energy to be accomplished and put together.
My duties are to keep his home, be a help to him in life and be his support.
I am least submissive in the bedroom. That part is just play and kink for us.
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We are only a couple days into our D/s but im definitely a service sub all i want to do is serve my Master and do everything he asks of me and make him happy and pleasure him. I want Master to have all the control and not let me have choices. I want him to make me do things i otherwise wouldnt do
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I am exploring what kind of sub I am. All I know is I want to please my Master. I like to cook. Not the best housekeeper but passable. I’m more open in the bedroom, expressive. Much more conservative in public.
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I am very service oriented. I love serving him both in and out of the bedroom. I make the meals when Im not working, I make his plate and serve it to him, I’ll fetch him a beer, I try to stay mindful of his glass whether he’s drinking a beer or water and ask if he needs another when I see it’s getting low. Im I’m busy and he’s getting low and he asked me to get him another I will put what im doing down and fetch it for him. I absolutely love when he has my head in his lap and he’s petting my hair, so intamate and calming. I do though have bratty tendencies. I have to fight them down at times, but I’m working on that…lol because I know it’s not a part of my behavior that Sir enjoys… it really frustrates him and makes his life harder. This is something I need to always remember. My job as a submissive is not to always get my way, but to do whatever needs to be done to make Sirs life/job easier. I love to be told what to do inside the bedroom, love to be given directions with command, no option but to do. Sir is working on having me answer when asked with him, even after 25yrs of marriage, sometimes i have trouble answering him when he asks me questions, like how I liked this or that (sexual in nature) in a detailed fashion. This is what he wants, details. if I’m upset and he asks why I’m not to him haw around which is my norm and he hates, I’m to answer immediately.. So hard for me sometimes…..
I’m a rope bunny…. love, love, love to be bound. whether by rope or cuffs, really. I do like a little humiliation, being called a slut or a whore…. as long as I’m a good one, and its pleasing to Sir…
Now pain, I’m not sure I would call myself a pain slut. I like moderate pain. I need it really. I love nipple tourture, one thing that can send me over the edge. I recently tried a clit clamp and loved it. Love Spankings and flogging. so I’m not sure if that qualifies me as a pain slut… I don’t like extreme pain, but I sometimes enjoy pain where I have to take a deep breath and absorb it. I do NOT like pain that draws blood or welts, but bruises are lovely. 😉 -
ahhhh Great Question….Great shares….
Well …For me Im lots of different flavors like a store;; down the ICE CREAM isle !
Im truly like a flower….as Im fed, soak up the sun,my roots grow stronger….my submissiveness evolves..If that makes sense . But, my core remains the same …
I find peace/desire to provide a castle for Sir to come home to, I have lots of Little Sprinkles for us both to play and enjoy… I LOVE Sir Flogger …
Curvey
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What I will find interesting is if we all come back every so often and update our original comments…to see if we all feel differntly or not about what type of sumbissive we are. To see who has grown in one area or abandoned another. As we grow as submissives, I think it only natural to explore and grow in this and to adjust our feelings when that occurs.
I feel like I am a completely different submissive than when Sir and I first started this. In the beginning, I was so intrigued by “defining” what “type” of submissive I was. I ultimately concluded that I was a Brat (but the fun brat, not the misbehaving brat, lol) and as we all know, my Sir agreed, hence my submissive name that he bestowed upon me! lol
Now, I know that there is still a little bit of brat here, but I have also come to the conclusion that I don’t think I fit into one particular type at all…I am just submissive. I enjoy being the sexual submissive, I’ve discovered my masochistic side (although, I don’t think I am a pain slut), I do enjoy coloring (but don’t identify as a little), I find it rewarding to do things for Sir when he asks them of me (but am definitely not a service sub).
So, to answer the question: I am many and none all at the same time. I like the title submissive, plain and simple. 😉Smooches,
V -
I like V’s answer, although I’m a completely new participant in the lifestyle, I can already see different parts of different submissive styles in me. We’ll see where things go as my Dom and I grow!
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YEZZZ…I found for sure ,,,,the more time, tasting we do …..the more the dynamics just grows into different Flavors !
Be HAPPY ,
Curvey
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We are in year two of this journey and still have a lot to learn. I am by nature and default, a very independent, take-charge and frankly speaking, controlling woman. I had a very bad, abusive marriage before finally finding my Sir. I have been blessed to have been given a second chance at love so I am determined to make this one the best it can be. My Sir is a loving and patient man, but even his patience has a limit. I was raised by an Army Veteran and my Sir is an Air Force Veteran, so both my father and My Sir are very orderly and rule driven men. I was am so very much like my father.
Unfortunately, due to my previous abusive marriage I became guarded and hard. All of those barriers within me became burdens and dividers between me and Sir. One day it just hit me, like a ton of bricks, that I alone possessed the power to change me, my life, my marriage and him. The only answer was to give it all up, the power, the control, the wrestling match for authority, all of who I am. So, I did it and I have never looked back. It has been freeing and liberating and even healing. Sir knows me better than anyone else and loves me more than anyone else. How could I not return that with utter devotion? For me, for him, for us, that utter devotion took the role of utter surrender, me to him. The peace I feel inside is not explainable. Words cannot sum up the release that happened inside when I let go of it all and laid it at Sir’s feet. I have seen a spark inside of him that I never saw before. My letting go did so much more for him than I think he even knows, but I see it. My release released him too. He is now more powerful, more alluring, more loving, more confident. The more I serve him the better it gets. The more I let go, the more protective and comforting he becomes.
So, I guess my type of submissive is total, I am a total trusting uninhibited submissive. It is out of heart and soul, out of love and compassion, out of need and desire to lavish myself on him and be taken by him without reserves. There is nothing in me that I want to keep from him. I want to rip myself open and let him see all of me. Then, once he has, he has the freedom, the power, the control and my absolute trust that he will put me in the order that is best pleasing to him. Two years ago I could never had said this, much less believed it were possible, oh the power of letting go! -
I am a fun sassy BRAT, and I love it. I do like pain but don’t define myself as a pain slut. I don’t like “Little”, but I do sleep with a blankie <3 I do love being able to service Mister and help with anything he needs. We are still very “young” in our D/s lifestyle, I’m sure I will change over the next years.
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I would call myself a part time submissive wife if there is such a thing. I am a strong woman that runs the household and brings in the same financially. However, with the day job mainly involving men in business when it comes to the sexual side of things I want and need to completely submit. I don’t want to think, I want to be told what to do, where and when. I enjoy a traditional spanking when I deserve it, I enjoy the unknown but basically the whole sexual experience being controlled by my master and me not having a say.
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