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what does submission include
Confused I am. I frustrate my Sir. The once whole package he first loved: intelligent, strong, witty, shares opinions, self supportive, and funny is now opinionated, critical, and can’t seem to say the right thing. I have always wanted someone to love me for who I am however the behaviors that are not pleasant to Sir I would gladly change. I only have to know what they are and guidance in how. Where is the line between having our my own feelings and feeling what Sir wants me to feel? Doing things because they please him but not always do I find the immediate pleasure. I feel a pain. I fear he does not see my glitter anymore. Baby Girl needs help.
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4 Replies
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Sir read this post and he assures me he sees my glitter. We had a wonderful scene last night and I am at his feet now. Funny but he is glad I wrote the post even though I think I should have thought it through more. I think for me I have to give everything and in that pleasure I will not loose myself but rather find myself and a new strength. I just to think about everything I ask is it positive? Does it need to be said? Will it uplift Sir? So much control in surrender…
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Hi SirsDarling-
Very glad to hear your Sir still sees your glitter 🙂 My grandmother shared her secret for a happy marriage with me during the early years of my own marriage and I have come back to it over and over. She said men need praise. In fact, I believe she started with Men have fragile egos, honey…and need lots of praise. And then she giggled. 🙂 But she was right – Praise is the key. If and when you need to bring his attention to something you are unhappy with, praise him first by letting him know the things he has done right or that make you feel like a woman. Then gently deliver the issue that’s bugging you and finish it up with more praise. Essentially, she preached the practice of positive reinforcement. In my 20s, it seemed a bit old-fashioned but because I knew my grandma was a smart woman who knew how to keep my grandaddy happy, I listened. Her advice completely blends with a D/s lifestyle (in my opinion) and I try to temper what I say to my Sir when I am less than pleased with something that has upset me. Bottom line? Communication in a respectful manner is key. Framing things in a constructive and positive manner will always work better than coming off as critical.Good luck!
Hugs,
june -
Thank you for the smart reply. I will take your advise. I have added praise and will sprinkle it throughout the day. After all I melt when I am told “good girl”. I have to take responsibility for my submission and surrender. It does me no good to worry if my Dom is doing things correctly….I have enough on my hands to make sure I am doing things. The more I feed my Sir and his confidence grows the more I fall into my mindset 24/7 without me thinking he needs to put me there. I am txting him things I do during the day and letting him know it is how I served him. I served you today Sir by vaccumming the bedroom. makes those chores more than chores.
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You’re so welcome and I hope it works for you! Sometimes the praise is so simple – maybe it’s the possessive hand at your back, the way He looks at you. Letting the one we love know how much those small non-verbal things mean to us is all part of positive communication. Keep us posted 🙂
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