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We tried a different downtime
Pre D/s-M my communication was nil. I was too stressed out to do it in person because to actually say something in person to Sir my anxiety would be through the roof. If it happened it would take days in the lead up to think of every possible scenario. This is my normal as i have ADD and autism(mild so to someone i am “normal” its the people skills i lack, only those super close to me would even notice. I actually only received a diagnosis a few montbs ago so Sir and I have such a better understanding of my “quirks”) so being able to sit down and talk about my emotions, its really hard for me to find the right words… but my written communication is excellent. I texted Sir and asked if we could do downtime with my jornal i write in for him. He was receptive to it. It was the longest and most positive downtime ever. We started with Sir reading and then discussing further. Sir said it directed D/T so much better. He understood better the issues/good moments to discuss. It was probably triple the length to usual. I have improved communication alot but it will never be “easy” for me due to my struggles.
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3 Replies
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Missy,
I would just like to say that although you admit that communication is hard for you due to those things you’ve shared…I applaud you not giving up and figuring out a way with your Sir to conduct downtime. Good job lady!
Smooches,
V -
Hi V,
Thankyou 😊 Sir and i can acknowledge our communication problems have been due to my inability to do so. Prior to D/s-M i would get upset over the teeniest things. He would say dinner will be ready at 6(hes a chef by trade so he does the majority of cooking or i may burn the house down haha) and it would be 630 or 7, i would get upset and just give him the silent treatment because i couldnt say hey you said it would be ready a half hour ago, im upset right now. My fear of his reaction over such a small trivial matter has been a huge roadblock for us to overcome. Sir knows forcing me to talk does not work and i will shut down and hes met with a brick wall or a panic attack.
So we work on finding solutions that are in my strengths. Sir consistently confirms my communication has improved so much. This has been an ongoing process. Sirs patience has gone a very long way 💕-
That is so great! So proud of you!
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