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Vanilla friends
So, tonight one of my closest friends came over, and we had one of those nights where there is lots of venting and wine should be mandatory. Her marriage is crumbling (and, honestly, it isn’t a healthy relationship, so I support the crumble), she is about to have a slightly intense surgery, and her husband is being nasty. It was a night where she just needed to get everything out and then be given something to make her smile. At some point in the conversation she asked what I had been up to, and it was very hard not to say “Oh, just spending a large chunk of my free time chatting with other subs.” I told her that I had finished my term, and was doing a lot of reading while I wait for baby to make her debut. This led to her asking what I had read recently, which happened to be FSOG (I know, I know, I’m behind the times!). A friend had suggested it to both of us a couple of weeks ago, so she asked me to explain what it was about. This then led into an explanation of the book and some of the concepts, which led to her asking questions about different aspects of BDSM, which then led to a short pause followed by “Do you guys do this?” Cue my heart stopping and me immediately getting flustered. I’m not a good liar. When I lie my face turns beet red and I get a nervous grin that I cannot shake. This then led to a new long list of questions. Lots of misconceptions being corrected, lots of new information given, and someone, other than Mister, finally knowing this side of me. It was the most terrifying and liberating conversation I’ve ever had, other than when Mister and I first discussed pursuing this lifestyle. I was bracing myself for her to have this horrible, horrible reaction, especially based on some of her reactions to my explanation of FSOG, but her response was basically, “I get it.” She said she could see how I would need something like this and how it could be fulfilling. She also said that she sees how gentle and endearing Mister is with me, so she knows it isn’t anything scary or bad. She was just very very curious as to how it worked and what we did. It was so relieving to receive such a calm response, especially since I think she is the only person I know who would respond to this calmly and without being disappointed in me. It is so nice to know that I have someone irl that I can talk to, that I don’t have to censor myself around. The best part was that the conversation led to lots of giggling, revealing things about ourselves, smiling until our cheeks hurt, strengthening our friendship, and ending her night on a much happier note. It was fantastic, and sure, my toddler will wake up in 3-3 1/2 hours, but the night was worth it. 🙂
I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I wanted to share.
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5 Replies
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MK,
Thank you for sharing! What an amazing experience to be able to share with one of your close friends. i think i can speak for most of us on here that we would love to be able to share this part of our lives with a close friend or two from our ‘vanilla world.’
Master has a friend who we learned is poly a few months ago, since then we have been able to open up and share our dynamic with him and his wife and while their ‘kink’ is slightly different than ours, having the open friendship and another couple to talk to and laugh with has been a blessing. i am so happy for this new level you and your friend have reached. -
Well, when you discover something that makes your relationship so amazing, you want to shout it to the world. It’s hard to have to stop yourself when someone asks what you did last night, or what your secret to a happy marriage is. It’s a little tiring to have to censor yourself all the time.
I’m really glad you guys found a couple you can share this with! After reading about your collaring, it made me want a friend here who I could share things like that with even more. Kink or no, it’s just nice to have someone who isn’t going to judge. 🙂
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Congrats MistersKitten… It so nice to open up to vanillas and have them respond favorably. I lost my bestie over this … My other life long friends I have been letting them in on it little by little… They are reacting well. They know we are doing as FSOG was doing..LOL. They live out of state so I only see them a few times a year… Congrats!
LK
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It is a great feeling to have someone you can share such an important part of your life with. I too am lucky to have that. And the number keeps getting bigger. I’ve been really surprised that I’ve been able to open up to several without the backlash. By opening up to a couple of my friends, I have found that a couple of them are poly. I would have never guessed. They keep it to themselves. There are those that will never understand. Cherish the ones that do.
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Yay!!! I have had this a bit on my mind lately too, then again, I am also at a point in my life where I can count all my REAL friends and fam on less than one had, so really, I shouldn’t be tooooo worried….. I think….
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