Traveling husDOM

[staci]

My HusDom is gone 50% of the month. We have some things that keep us connected that might not be for everyone, but they work for us.

There are 6 security cameras in our house, and he watches me from an app on his phone. There are cameras in our living room, kitchen, office, master bedroom, front door, and back patio. There are no cameras in the bathrooms or upstairs in the kids’ rooms, but no one can go upstairs without passing several other cameras. It truly makes me feel safer knowing that he is watching over me when I am home alone. He usually sends me a text as soon as he sees me wake up in the morning. He also gives me specific instructions about masturbation, including which toy to use and how to position my body for the camera. I was a little bit apprehensive about this at first, but it definitely keeps us connected sexually. Even when he is out of town, every orgasm belongs to him.

In daily life, I follow my Sir’s general expectations about attire, but when I travel for my own job, he gives me specific instructions about what to pack, and I send pictures when I get dressed. I check in whenever I go different places (Leaving hotel, arriving at restaurant, back in my hotel room for the night, etc.). I am given a bedtime. The first time he did this, he was anxious about the place I was going by myself, but when he put those additional directions in place he said “This is the most authentic Dom emotions I have felt since we began this journey.”

These protocols make me feel closer to him and out of the vanilla zone. His control over my behavior is like a long distance hug.

I would love to hear what other couples do to bridge the distance during absences.
HUGS!!
Staci

[Unknown Member]

I love this. Thank you for sharing it. Intimate details are not always easy to tell the outside world.

[Veruca]

Although I do not deal with this personally…this is great! I honestly don’t know how you subbies do it and give you kudos for working through it!
Smooches,
V

[Kaninchen]

The number one way Mr Fox and I deal with the traveling is to first give him the power when he returns, then before he leaves he gives me his permission and strength to continue in his absence. We call it “Passing the Torch”.

https://submrs.com/dominance-and-submission-ritual/

I do several things preparing for his return as well. Clean crisp sheets, fresh towels, I think I’ll get a warmer for them this year, he would like that.

There are so many great ideas here in the forum for all subbies to do to help them with the traveling husDOM. Please add comments ect here innthe forum!

Hugs! LK

Dominance and submission Ritual | Passing of the Torch

[blossom]

Good Morning My Many Sub Sisters.  Although my Sir does not travel for a living, he often does travel and often out of the country.  I have a hard enough time when he is away but in the US, but when he is so far away and I can not call him….well you know.  I have enjoyed reading your many post to give me strength. Thank you for everyone’s on-ging support. 

[mandi fountain]

Sir and I are just really starting out laying out the foundation of our dynamic He works a lot out of town commute of 2 hours away 16 hour shifts but available to talk for parts of it. He has an RV that he stays on site at work and comes home Saturday between 12am-8 and goes Sundays at about 4-8pm but we get holidays twice a year that last at least 1 month in length so it makes up for it-

thats a whole different kind of FRENZY!! Now that will be interesting in JUNE, our next break.

The torch ritual you described was very helpful for us, we haven’t done the ritual yet but I know its going to be a winner we talked tonite about it and it really clicked for both of us. So we’ll be implementing that or similar for us-it makes so much sense. The switching of his sub to RoL(rest of life)was a real pitfall for me this last year.

<div>I also put out fresh towels, fresh sheets, put on some music of his choice, light candles so its soft ambience and relaxing I lay out his lounger pants and housecoat. I just try to make him feel wanted; show the value that he is to me. that got lost between us before and we didnt communicate wonderfully…now its getting better …so much better than it ever was!
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So some things that we tried and that stuck over the past year and more recently are when Sir gets home usually early Sat morning like 1am-8am so this is when its reasonable 12-2am or 6am onward. He tells me when and what each week if he wants this: I will run a bath and have a drink ready for him to unwind with in the bath and last week I started journaling (never thought I would ever do a journal) so i left my journal on the bathcaddy with his drink. That turned out to be a real big hit -yay! I sit at the window or check my phone to see where he is and then I meet him downstairs at the door with my hair done, makeup on, with or without panties, a dress on, dependant on his wishes that hes let me know- I am to look down at the floor and as he walks up to me he will tip my chin up and kiss me like Im his water in the desert or maybe he will sternly whisper for me to give him my panties … Its Babylon! (we live in tiny town; so doing this at the front door is totally dangerous!😆 to me it is anyways I’m super private ~)

Our understanding of what were doing and trying to do is so much clearer just in a week here! Its like we finally caught the full wind!

Sails up!!

[Kimah]

“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails”

This is the inscription on my new day cuff. Sir just bought it for me to wear while we are separated to remind of so many things: that I am his, that I can stand in this time, that I am strong, that I can submit to him, bending and adjusting as needed to meet his needs – even if he needs to be away from me for times. As my Sir took off my cuffs this morning and placed this engraved day cuff on my wrist, he told me that I am strong enough to stand this storm, and to adjust my sails and GO. I am ashamed to admit that I used to pretty much always get my own way before TTWD started. Now I’ve learned to adjust my sails and bend with and to my Sir. I don’t choose these separations, but I will get through it. Mid-day Sir texted me to be strong and courageous and to trim my sails. (I think one of our children told him I was not doing well…haha) I am to leave this cuff on until Sir returns and removes it.

Several times a year my Sir or I are away for work reasons, typically in 14 day periods at a time. The rest of the time we are together almost 24/7. We live on the property where we work, & we work together in the same office, back to back. During the 14 months of COVID, we didn’t travel at all – and grew tremendously in our D/s-M. Suddenly, in summer of 2021, “normal” life slammed us in the face and we had to deal with one or the other of us being away for 2 week periods over and over. Two weeks away, typically followed by 5 days home but still working, then 2 weeks away again. We prepared for this by setting up new rituals and protocols that we thought would help us – help grow his Dominance and help me stay in a proper submissive mindset while being strong while separated. (when he’s gone I also have to fill in for his job running this property, so it’s a hard mental shift) We are in a period now that’s very hard for me. Sir left this morning for 14 days and I am to drive 3,000 miles across the country to meet him – driving our children and our RV. Then we will be together for 2 weeks before he will leave again for 2.5 weeks. The next time we will be alone together at home will be September 23. Even though we prepared for this for months, I felt like I couldn’t breathe all day today. It was so hard.

Some of our Rituals that help keep us strong-

1. Sir sends me a daily text. When we are home it’s a text of his expectations for that evening – when we are away it’s a description of the picture he will receive from me that day and a journal prompt.

2. Because of our jobs, we can’t usually chat or video – text is our main communication – I am instructed to text each evening before entering bed to get permission and each morning when I wake up. (Sir will eventually get these texts)

3. Sir always leaves a mark on me before one of us leaves. It’s become fun the night before departure to see what he will do. I currently have a very visible mark on my neck… last time it was a bite mark on my shoulder….the time before that on my breast.

4. I send a daily selfie. Usually Sir sends directions, but not always. I try my best to send a photo that will remind him how much I love him.

5. I try to journal each day. Sir sends me topics and questions.

6. I kneel and meditate for a bit each day – usually at a time that Sir and I coordinate together.

7. When we get back together, we do a ritual involving Sir undressing me and kneeling. Then he will watch me shower. When Sir leaves on a trip, we reverse this and Sir will shower, dress and I will kneel and we chat for a while, almost like a downtime, but preparing for separation or reconnection. Sir now put on my special day cuff that I will only wear while we are separated. Sir also sends me texts of fun things we will do in October, which seems like forever away, but I know it will come soon.

I don’t like being separated from my Sir. I miss him terrible, and I miss his protection, guidance, leadership and comfort. I also miss all the sex and fun too, but that’s not what makes me feel unstable and shaky, I just miss having him HERE. Like I am torn in half when he isn’t here, and when he’s back I am whole again. Tomorrow I leave for a 3,000 mile adventure to meet my Sir. I can stand in this storm, I know my Sir believes I can do this and I won’t let him down. Of course when I see him, I will probably just fall to my knees crying in front of everyone I will be so relieved to have him back…

[Liten_Skogkatt_CGL]

My husDOM just accepted another job and will be traveling around the country working for 6 weeks at a time and then come home on R&R for 1 week. This has began a transition and a growing pain. He has been home once since he’s started.

Of course, fresh sheets, clean towels and a clean (ish) house (we have a 19 month old son.) are an absolute must, plus all part of Sir’s requirements. We’ve also thrown in a must for a home cooked meal within the first day of him being home.