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Time to play???
So I had a bit of a light bulb moment the other day. When I was thinking about it I found that I had stopped trying to figure out when my sir and I were going to have sex next. Before we started D/s-m I would try to figure it out. My sir has always initiated it in our relationship. My worry has always been that if I tried to initiate it he would say no or wouldn’t be interested. However I am in the mood like a lot of the time so it felt like I was waiting around for him to be where I was. We never had sex two days in a row, even if it was going to be days before our evenings lined up again we still did not have sex two days in a row. And even if we had a quickie and neither of us came it some how “counted”. This obviously lead to me being disappointed a lot of the time, a bit resentful, and wondering what I had done wrong that he is not interested in me. I would sometimes go to bed angry with him and he had no idea why. I didn’t want to tell him that I was mad because we didn’t have sex just for him to start then and me feel like it was pitty sex to make me feel better.
Anyways we started our dynamic in August last year and i realized the other day that i had stopped trying to figure out, and honestly stress about, if tonight we would get to play. I am not sure when it happened but it’s like the stress is gone. I have accepted that when he is ready we will play. We have a lot going on in our lives and we obviously won’t play every night. But giving up stressing about this makes me feel wonderful and light a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It was a very gradual change and I realised I was moving further down my submission path. Am I now a perfect submissive? Hell no! But have I progressed? I would like to feel that I have.
I just thought I would share this with you all.
Lots of hugs,
Terenya -
2 Replies
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Dear Terenya,
What a wonderful light bulb moment. Thank you for sharing your success. I am going to follow your example to reduce the stress that comes with wanting to please Sir. It’s really hard to wait patiently for the time to be right. This strategy will help.
Warmly,
Belle Soumise -
This is amazing, Terenya! I wish I could say I am where you are, but I am working on it. My Sir and I don’t match in our sexual desires or scene/play frequency desires, so I am often wondering when and if we’ll get to play. I wish I could bottle the peace and trust that you have found! I will be encouraged by your success and keep working at it!
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