-
This is new?
So as many of you know my husband and I had to stop our D/s relationship – it mainly boiled down to his inconsistencies and not liking to have the label of Dom when it meant he was in charge – even though he is in charge….. anyway during sex he always calls me by my sub name and always has which in itself is confusing however, I’ve been poorly recently and feeling low as I have been unable to lose weight (having so many tests I look like a pin cushion!) and last night we were talking after I had been in the shower. I asked if he minded if I put on my pjs as I wasn’t feeling well and he said
“I don’t care if you want to wear an evening dress or a sack you’ll look gorgeous”I replied
“I’d need a big evening dress to cover my fat ass”He kind of drew himself to his full height (6ft 7 to my 5ft), put his index finger under my chin to lift my face and said
“If I tell you I want you in an evening dress you will wear one – and I don’t care what the size -I will expect you to do it” I stood there for what felt like a lifetime before he gave me a kiss and walked out of the room.I’ve been so ill recently I haven’t had any energy or inclination to try to be anything other than miserable and then he does this. The question is what do I do now?
-
4 Replies
-
I’m sorry you’ve been so sick. I hope your doctor can figure our what’s wrong soon and get you feeling better.
My suggestion is be grateful, be cautiously optimistic, be patient. He may have negative feelings and views of the word/label “dominant”. He needs to come into it on his own, he needs to want it, he needs to see that it is good for you and good for your relationship. Be supportive of him and express gratitude for any dominance he shows. If he is going to be the Dom this needs to be done his way. JMO. Good luck.
-
Dear OB ,
CHEERS to you for coming here to share all …..You have shared from your heart ZI FEEL you ! May I share …being sick , ill, taking RX, life , depression is very hard ! I too have to kick butt on these things daily. I hope you will get answers soon , so you both can address it , deal with it feel better
Your share sounds like you both are D/s in the bedroom, still? Wonderful , keep enjoying that , feed it let it be HAPPY ..watch it grow ..spread…
I hope you will continue DT , communication its Key for us. Re group ….theres is no same Ds, there is no right way to Ds..there is only you and your HusDom D/s ..make it what works rocks for you !
Your HusDom is telling you he Loves you , you rock HIS world…BELIEVE IT !!!! His the the only option that truly matters
Sizes, LBS GRRRR we are our worst enemy ! Then we give up , quit trying, punish ourselves … I constantly hear, see this everyday so, a SHARE to you and maybe it will help others :-)))
STOP STOP this today… DIG DEEP …embrace the size / LB you are right NOW !
Go to a store many do Free compliment makes overs try a new summer lip color !
Go to your closet…the things that aren’t working today ..put them to the back or store different closet !
Pick out from your closet …mix it up ..different shirt, scarf, jewelry ; add a heel !
Go shopping for a few new things…try on different styles..BEST advice ever ..look in magazines, people watch …when you see a woman that is close to your body type/size; looking good ..make a note. How she pulled it together !! Cut pictures out of the magazines, take them to the store when you shopMONEY ..UG you can shop lots of places you don’t have to spend a fortune …!
OH , ita a fresh DAY! NOOO more negative talk …stand tall, look good, SMILE. You can always PM me :-))
Hearts to you , CURVEY
-
My husband doesn’t like the label Dom either. He thinks it’s weird to have to put another name when husband works. He also doesn’t agree with the general definition according to BDSM writings of what a Dom is or does.
The label Dom doesn’t make a man any more or less dominant or in charge. The important thing is …do you both feel he is in charge and you yield to his decisions, his objectives and goals for life and the home?
If the answer is yes then you are still involved in a relationship that has power exchange. You haven’t really lost that.
I agree with Curvey on needing to drag yourself away from self hating. Find the things that give you little lifts and focus on those. Let them carry you through one at the time.
-
Hello OH, I total agree with Curvy, Your man did not marry you for what you see on the outside, he married you for you are on the inside and loves you for who you are “The total package”. Answer this, if your Sir was 450 lbs or got scared badly would you love him any less, would you not care or want him? We all come in different shapes and sizes lady and that does not define who we are and how much love we deserve. Once you are feeling well and they find out your problem, do as Curvy suggest than look and that mirror and tell yourself everyday you love who you are and work on yourself a little at a time. Also it sounds like he loves your submission and for not wanting to use the ‘Dom” word ask him what he would like you to call him. Hugs my sub-sister and I hope you get well soon! P.S. PM me anytime lady if you need to as well.
LT ♥♥♥
Log in to reply.